The Top

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Everyone's a critic

By Anonymous - 17/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I was walking past a restaurant to my car. Some man who was sitting on the patio went completely out of his way to walk through the restaurant, out the door, and follow me halfway down the street, just to tell me that my hair was ugly, my makeup was too thick, and my dress was “slutty.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 90

Hype house prank style

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 18:00 - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I woke up to find I'd peed the bed. My girlfriend did the warm water trick to me, where she put my hand in water while sleeping, which can make you piss yourself apparently. As I went to get up, I noticed she'd also painted my toenails pink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 204

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 19/05/2026 22:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, it's been 3 days since I matched with someone online and have been crafting witty, charming messages. We finally agreed to meet, and the second I walked into the café, I realized he was the bartender who'd already seen me cry there after a breakup six months earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 196

Don't back down, double down

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 06:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and my heart is shattered to pieces. The worst part is we are supposed to go on vacation together in a week, and neither of us is backing out, or giving the other the room, so it looks like we’ll be staying together on vacation for 11 days straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 270

Next time, lie

By dr.fml - 09/03/2022 06:00 - United States - Sutton

Today, I was in a Zoom meeting for a very important lab I work in. My lab director, who is writing me a letter of recommendation for medical school, commented on a painting I had in the background. "Oh, what is that? It looks nice." My reply? "A bong." I got a professionalism email right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 1 428

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 06/04/2022 00:01

Today, I found out my younger sister is too cheap to buy her own sex toys, so she has been borrowing mine. I clean mine thoroughly after use but apparently she just puts them back in the box after she’s done, while they’re still wet. Not gonna lie, I threw up a little after she'd admitted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 274

You deserved it 219

Vicious bastards

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 253

Go to school!

By emilee - 19/03/2022 14:00

Today, I told my dad I wasn’t feeling well, to which his response was to interrupt me and say, “Nope. Not buying it.” I have never faked an illness in my life, and this time I vomited in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 110

Satisfaction

By Anonymous - 28/10/2024 15:00 - Australia - Balwyn North

Today, I realised that I'm addicted to a porn game… not because of the porn. The simple gameplay mechanic of combining objects on a board to make new objects makes my brain happy. I found myself feeling depressed at the thought that I'd have to wait 3 hours for my moves to recharge before I could play again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 390

Homeowners war

By xXCharlieXx - 03/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my neighborhood Facebook group was arguing about whether leaf blowers should be banned. Thinking I was posting in a private chat, I wrote, “Imagine making leaf blowers your entire personality.” I accidentally posted it publicly. Two neighbors haven't spoken to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 376

Don't mess with Texas

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 18:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé expressed concern for her mother's health and a desire to be with her in Texas. I called her mother, who is 69 years young and will outlive us all, and it came up that her brother's BFF, who my fiancé has been crushing on since she was a tween, just got divorced and moved back to Texas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 103

Extreme Masterchef

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 12:00

Today, after an argument a month ago, my husband has refused to do any cooking since. After a month without his food, I’ve realised at this point in our marriage his cooking is literally the only thing about him I like anymore. I think I want a divorce. Over food. What an end to a marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 530

He has a type

By Anonymous - 10/06/2023 03:00

Today, I looked up my current boyfriend's ex's TikTok, and I realized how much I look like her. So now I'm wondering if he's only dating me to get over her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 533

Who's fault is that?

By junie b - 03/03/2022 22:00

Today, I failed my driving test. Why? Before I even began driving, someone hit my car while it was still parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 82

Expensive hobby

By Anonymous - 12/06/2023 06:00

Today, my mom found my anime drawings and tore them up because she “didn’t raise some filthy porn artist.” I admit the pictures were kind of porny, but I’m an artist and those images were done to my customer's very specific description. My mom just cost me weeks of detailed drawing and £2000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 385

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 21/04/2022 00:01 - Australia

Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 298

Slow moving accident

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 14:01

Today, I got into an accident, driving pretty slowly on a left turn signal trying to avoid a curb, sticking it out for too long, breaking a car's sideview mirror and causing scratches. The police was called. I have to appear in court for a misdemeanour for my first offence ever. Good bye student visa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 466

Don't believe the hype

By Anonymous - 14/11/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was hyping myself up to work out after weeks of being a lazy slob. I slapped my workout gear on, got my Spotify playlist ready, and just as I was about to start, my friend texted me asking if I wanted pizza. I’m now in my workout clothes, eating pizza on his couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 512

Desperate

By Anonymous - 24/06/2023 18:00

Today, the guy I gave up all my social life and casual sex partner for, suddenly decided that he wants nothing to do with me sexually, and then called me "desperate" for wanting to be his friend despite that fact. Now, because of him, I'm no longer getting laid, and I have no friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 1 645

Failed

By Secret - 24/11/2024 22:00 - United States - Davison

Today, I looked at my boyfriend of four years's phone. He may not be cheating, but he was trying, and got shot down five times by three different women. Pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 120

I'll be giving some thanks alright!

By Thanksgiving Ruined - 26/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I saw an e-mail notification for my husband regarding a flight to New York this Wednesday. Thanksgiving is on Thursday and we have no relatives in New York. When I asked him about it, he confessed that he’s gonna see a lady he met online and that he wants a divorce. I’m due to give birth next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 124

Don't believe the memes

By Bullshit detector - 28/11/2024 16:00 - Ireland

Today, I corrected someone about a "fact" I'd learned online. They immediately pulled up a search on their phone to prove me wrong. It appears that I'd been confidently spreading a meme as if it were the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 783

Road rage

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 06:00

Today, a guy hit my car, and I threatened to sue him after he started the conversation rudely. He told me to go ahead, because he doesn’t have any money or a job anyway, then because from his perspective he had nothing else really to lose, he kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 408

It's a cult

By Anonymous - 25/01/2021 08:01 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I found out via Facebook that my once-favourite aunt has fully bought into the QAnon bullshit about the "stolen" US election, bible quotes and all. We live in the UK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 196

Life goes on

By Anonymous - 11/05/2022 02:00

Today, I found an old photo album in my Facebook account, which had pictures of previous hangouts with people I called friends at the time. I deleted it because they progressively cut ties with me over time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 254

He's got the look

By Anonymous - 12/05/2022 22:00 - United States - Steele

Today, my uncle visited for the first time in three years. It would have been very wholesome, if not for the fact that I got to see for myself just how badly his health has deteriorated. He's morbidly obese, a heavy smoker, and his voice is terrifying. I almost thought he was a pedophile when I first saw him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 193

Hello goodbye

By tipsyone - 16/05/2022 21:59 - Sweden - Katrineholm

Today, just as I was starting to get better with my depression through medication and therapy, my partner decided we needed to break up. He's been completely unsupportive and hasn’t cared. I’m just sad that this worsens my depression more than missing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 179

Blinded

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 18:00

Today, I had a lightbulb over my head moment, by which I mean I was changing a blown bulb, which smashed, and I’m now half blind waiting for the surgery to remove the minuscule and yet still excruciating shards of glass from my right eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 115

That's not very pog

By Anonymous Dad - 02/02/2021 17:02

Today, my son and his friends were gaming in his room when I thought I'd use a word I recently discovered online. I said, "Hey, this is all very poggers." My son sighed and said, "How do you do, fellow kids?" I got Steve Buscemi-ed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 1 093

Don't let things get you down, just pish yersel

By Anonymous - 19/07/2023 22:00

Today, I, a grown man in his 30’s, fell asleep and pissed myself like a 2 year-old at bedtime. I was at work on my dinner break and had taken a nap on the break room sofa, which is now soaked in my pee, and I have no change of clothes. Twenty coworkers and 5 senior management all know it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 340

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The Top

Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 584

You deserved it 45 141

Today, I'm so poor that I've been scrounging around my house all day trying to find quarters and dimes so that I can buy myself a cup of coffee tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 609

You deserved it 6 809

Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 226

You deserved it 4 145

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 683

You deserved it 16 465

Today, I received a Christmas card from my husband’s parents and found for the 7th straight year I wasn’t included on the card. Instead they included a picture of my husband’s ex-girlfriend holding my baby. I’ve already received messages asking if he’s back together with her. No. No he’s not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 145

You deserved it 194

Today, I told my mom that having watched my sister ruin her life having kids who grew into brats with criminal records before their teens, I refused to ruin my life the same way and will be childless. I then turned to leave and they were in the doorway, my sister and her two brats. I got slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 414