By Anonymous - 16/4/2020 20:00 Stuck in a rut Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML I agree, your life sucks 1763 You deserved it 263 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/4/2020 02:00 Deal or no Deal Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML I agree, your life sucks 866 You deserved it 1654 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kay Jacline Salvatierra - 15/4/2020 05:00 Shivering Herbert Today, it's the third night in a row that I have had a sexual dream involving another woman. I'm married and when I tried talking to my husband about pleasing me better, he told me he doesn't want to go down on me because it makes him nervous. FML I agree, your life sucks 1859 You deserved it 271 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/4/2020 08:00 Decisions, decisions Today, I shoved my tits in my boyfriend's face and he chose to continue playing Minecraft. FML I agree, your life sucks 1672 You deserved it 749 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/4/2020 02:00 Cold-blooded old times Today, going through my dead grandma's papers, we found old faded photos. I showed them to my mum, who screamed in shock. They were grandma and granddad's erotic photos from about seventy years ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 1548 You deserved it 303 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - 13/4/2020 02:00 Keep fit! Today, my girlfriend and I were on the phone. She heard I was out of breath and asked me, "Are you okay?" I didn't have the heart to tell her that she'd caught me masturbating, and I'm so out of shape it sounded like I'd ran a marathon. FML I agree, your life sucks 1155 You deserved it 1201 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Princess ? - 12/4/2020 14:00 Buzzing the tower Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML I agree, your life sucks 1730 You deserved it 208 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/4/2020 20:00 Good job! Today, my husband fell asleep in the middle of a blowjob. I feel kind of insulted. FML I agree, your life sucks 1870 You deserved it 475 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By say what?! - 10/4/2020 08:00 Missed opportunities Today, I got a text from a female friend saying, "So bored, come over, let's fuck.” Knowing her sense of humor, I laughed it off and sarcastically replied, "On my way!” About an hour later, I got a message from her husband asking what was taking me so long. They really wanted a threesome. FML I agree, your life sucks 1739 You deserved it 407 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By S. Dub - 10/4/2020 05:00 Acting is hard work Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML I agree, your life sucks 1651 You deserved it 239 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lennie Mcfish - 9/4/2020 14:00 Drinking is bad for you, most of the time Today, while at a party, my extremely drunk crush came up to me and told me she had a crush on me. She then wanted to have sex with me while she drunk, but since she was under the influence I didn't. Later, when I told her about it, she say denied the fact that she likes me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1940 You deserved it 262 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bob - 7/4/2020 02:00 A heads up next time maybe? Today, when my girlfriend walked out the room, for a laugh, I covered my whole body except my knob in blankets. Then when I heard her come back in, I yelled, "Surprise!" It was her mom, who'd dropped by unannounced. FML I agree, your life sucks 1855 You deserved it 771 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/4/2020 17:00 Outdoorsy romance Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on Tinder. After chatting in a pub, we went for a walk at the marina nearby. He tried to have sex with me bareback behind the lighthouse. FML I agree, your life sucks 1556 You deserved it 607 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DearLord - 3/4/2020 23:00 - Canada Next, on The Jerry Springer Show… Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML I agree, your life sucks 1754 You deserved it 109 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 3/4/2020 08:00 Not so special Today, the guy I've been dating and sleeping with told me he is also dating another woman, but that they only kiss. I was under the impression we were exclusive for two months now, since I told him if we slept together that it would be. FML I agree, your life sucks 1819 You deserved it 275 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hollerz90 - 2/4/2020 23:00 Red Right Hand Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML I agree, your life sucks 1896 You deserved it 165 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xoxo - 1/4/2020 02:00 - United States Miscommunication Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML I agree, your life sucks 1605 You deserved it 333 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By not getting any - 31/3/2020 08:00 Weeks? Today, I’m allergic to all forms of hormonal birth control, and due to the virus outbreak, I can’t get my implant replaced. We’re in quarantine, and my boyfriend and I just used our last condom. It’s going to be a long couple of weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 1675 You deserved it 491 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By motorboatofdoom - 30/3/2020 05:00 Nice way to go, really Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML I agree, your life sucks 1900 You deserved it 242 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/3/2020 08:00 - United Kingdom - London True romantic Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML I agree, your life sucks 1890 You deserved it 298 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/3/2020 17:00 Words, don't come easy Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML I agree, your life sucks 2230 You deserved it 217 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SierraCheyenne - 26/3/2020 23:09 - United States - Denver Poor Henry Today, I came home to my boyfriend standing in the living room with his dick in the vacuum cleaner hose. Instead of being embarrassed, he simply said, "The vacuum does it better." FML I agree, your life sucks 1888 You deserved it 471 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/3/2020 22:36 Small comforts Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML I agree, your life sucks 2340 You deserved it 154 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By singledumbfuck - 22/3/2020 03:30 Eternally romantic Today, my boyfriend proposed via text, after telling me that he'd slept with his step-sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 2194 You deserved it 139 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/3/2020 03:00 We're up all night to not get some Today, I must be the only woman on the planet with a boyfriend who turns down sex because he feels like he’s got a headache coming. FML I agree, your life sucks 1731 You deserved it 464 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/3/2020 09:03 That escalated badly Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML I agree, your life sucks 2126 You deserved it 289 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/3/2020 23:01 Confinement's gonna be fun Today, I left the house to get groceries. My parents asked me where I was going and how long I would be gone for. Thinking they were just being inquisitive parents, I ignored them. I got home 20 minutes later to them having sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 718 You deserved it 2000 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/3/2020 00:11 - Canada - Toronto Timing Today, my boyfriend came out of the closet. In the middle of us having sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 2077 You deserved it 221 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sallyfradoodle - 13/3/2020 21:00 New Romantics Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML I agree, your life sucks 1365 You deserved it 361 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/3/2020 12:30 Oversharing Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML I agree, your life sucks 1627 You deserved it 218 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
I've been working from home since quarantine. We were slow Today so I typed "lola fox bbc dp porn" into my team chat thinking i was typing it into my personal... I agree, your life sucks 4 You deserved it 27 0 Comments
Today, My boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere because I act like he's nothing but a sex doll. We've been dating 6 weeks & have had sex twice.. FML I agree, your life sucks 18 You deserved it 2 0 Comments