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By Isuckreallybad - 6/2/2021 21:30 - United States

Narcolepsy

  Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks
719
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291
7 Comments
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By Anonymous - 6/2/2021 16:01 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Gratitude walks

  Today, my sister slept with my boyfriend while I was at work providing for the both of them as well as our child. I let her move in after our mother kicked her out. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1279
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120
13 Comments
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By Anonymous - 5/2/2021 00:30

Set phasers to stun

  Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because there was “something missing”, which was the lack of sex we had because she didn’t feel good about her body. Less than three hours after crushing my heart, she posted about how hard it will be to have a "hoe phase" during a pandemic. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1184
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114
4 Comments
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By Anonymous - 3/2/2021 01:01 - Mexico - Iztacalco

That's… sexy

  Today, my wife threw up in the middle of sex, then fell asleep right after. I didn't even finish and it'd been over a month since the last time. FML
I agree, your life sucks
875
You deserved it
252
8 Comments
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By Anonymous - 2/2/2021 14:01 - Australia

Thanks, I hate it

  Today, I received my first dick pic from my boyfriend. Problem is, we broke up 3 weeks ago and his next message said, "Oops, sorry, wrong person." FML
I agree, your life sucks
876
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124
7 Comments
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By Anonymous - 2/2/2021 00:30

Not a biology major

  Today, after we had sex for the first time, my boyfriend shouted, “Huzzah! My genes will live on!” We used a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks
814
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168
9 Comments
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By Anonymous - 1/2/2021 22:57

Meme wars

  Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me via a meme. What the fuck? With a friend of mine as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks
736
You deserved it
87
5 Comments
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By Anonymous - 31/1/2021 16:59

No one is that good in bed, surely

  Today, my ex-boyfriend is still stalking me after several years. I asked him why he doesn't just move on and let me be. He replied that I drove him crazy one time when we were intimate. FML
I agree, your life sucks
838
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91
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By Anonymous - 30/1/2021 20:01

Parting gift

  Today, the girl who lived downstairs and who was also sleeping with my guy moved out. She left a stack of my mail she had been taking at my door. FML
I agree, your life sucks
804
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72
3 Comments
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By Anonymous - 29/1/2021 17:01 - Panama - Cuba

Send nudes

  Today, my boyfriend said he regrets loving or even meeting me because of the distance between us, and because I won't send nudes. FML
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797
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226
1 Comments
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By xenutja - 29/1/2021 13:02 - United States - Amery

Hate sex

  Today, I found out why my boyfriend always has sex with me like he hates me. Turns out, he actually hates me. FML
I agree, your life sucks
855
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115
1 Comments
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By Anonymous - 29/1/2021 11:01

Judgmental

  Today, I just had an argument with my father. He claimed that if a woman is covered in tattoos, it's quite clear that she's a whore. He said so in front of my girlfriend, who has tattoos all over her arms. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1101
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139
3 Comments
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By Anonymous - 29/1/2021 05:01

Rookie mistake

  Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend. Two weeks before Valentine's day. She expects me to buy her a present because we've known each other for a while, and apparently thinks it's more than a drunk hookup. FML
I agree, your life sucks
274
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1425
4 Comments
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By Anonymous - 28/1/2021 23:01

Right in the pecker

  Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks
855
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362
4 Comments
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By Anonymous - 28/1/2021 00:58 - United States - Edmond

Say nothing

  Today, right now, my husband is on the phone with his friend. Last night I had a dream I was cheating on him with this friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks
297
You deserved it
646
4 Comments
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By Anonymous - 28/1/2021 02:01

Alcoholics of the world, get help

  Today, I know my life is awesome when my partner and I have to plan watching movies and having sex around his drinking schedule. FML
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742
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178
3 Comments
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By Really jealous - 26/1/2021 09:31 - India

Creeped out

  Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea. She called me a jealous bastard who can't get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1194
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178
8 Comments
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By Brenden - 25/1/2021 13:59

Sucker

  Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s on her way to my friend's place to have her guts rearranged. FML
I agree, your life sucks
728
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568
7 Comments
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By Anonymous - 24/1/2021 22:59

Woman DESTROYS her sex life with FACTS and some sort of LOGIC

  Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how disgusting I look, I can't even touch myself, not with a vibrator, my hand or a 10-foot pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks
514
You deserved it
726
6 Comments
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By ThatIsNotIt - 24/1/2021 04:02 - United Kingdom

Underperforming

  Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2047
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125
12 Comments
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By Anonymous - 22/1/2021 17:01 - Australia

Traditions suck

  Today, my fiance told me that his father would need to check my hymen is intact to ensure I'm pure before we get married. This is a new one. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1587
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142
23 Comments
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By Death_Arc_Angel - 22/1/2021 09:09 - Trinidad and Tobago - Fyzabad

Mystery

  Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract herpes. I don't even know how I got it. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1103
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110
4 Comments
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By Anonymous - 22/1/2021 14:31 - Australia - Adelaide

Confused

  Today, I drunkenly hooked up with a meth dealer I just met online. Of course this occurred at his place, since he's on home detention for drug trafficking - ankle bracelet and all. Worst part? I really liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks
230
You deserved it
1697
12 Comments
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By Anonymous - 21/1/2021 23:01

Cool moves

  Today, I tried pouring water on myself like in Coyote Ugly to the song "Pour Some Sugar On Me." I ended up waterboarding myself and I didn’t stop until the pitcher was done. I felt like I was drowning the whole time, and my partner knew from the choking sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks
208
You deserved it
1221
9 Comments
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By Anonymous - 20/1/2021 20:02 - Canada - Kitchener

In the dark

  Today, since I've been falling for the girl I've been sleeping with for the past couple of months, I decided it was time for us to talk about making things official and exclusive. I was confident she'd feel the same way. Then I found out she's an escort. FML
I agree, your life sucks
534
You deserved it
887
8 Comments
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By Anonymous - 20/1/2021 11:02

Too Much Information

  Today, I found out that my cross-dressing father and my recently deceased mother were having a much more "open" relationship then they'd let on, when the sheriff's department finally gave me mom's phone back. FML
I agree, your life sucks
804
You deserved it
123
7 Comments
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By Anonymous - 18/1/2021 23:01

Supportive

  Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent me 5 pictures of his wife in a small bikini, saying, “Guess who doesn’t have your problems?” FML
I agree, your life sucks
1188
You deserved it
271
4 Comments
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By Anonymous - 17/1/2021 11:01

Technology hates humans

  Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1122
You deserved it
219
9 Comments
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By kikuhime - 17/1/2021 02:01

Oh, hello

  Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1702
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82
10 Comments
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By StarvedForAffection - 13/1/2021 17:01 - United States - Midlothian

Good girl

  Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML
I agree, your life sucks
836
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218
3 Comments
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Today I cried and left because my dad was saying my s/o of 7 years is shit and that he wanted to hurt him just because he didn't want to share an icecream...
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Today my folding table collapsed destroying one of my roommates favorite cups. A few days ago I already destroyed her favorite cup, now I have to explain...
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