Today, me (24) and my girlfriend (23) got ‘intimate’ on a private beach you can only get to by boat. Afterwards, she had to unironically put armbands on to swim back to boat just as another boat came by. I got called "Pedo!" multiple times. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML
Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the local park for some romantic time together. By the time we left, I'd been called a pedo and a cradle robber, and been given several dirty looks. I'm 31. My boyfriend is 30 and just very baby-faced. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML
Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML
Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML
Today, I was floating on a river with some friends when I accidentally splashed one of their girlfriends in the face. She started crying and everyone gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the trip. We are all 26 years-old. FML
Today, while swimming in a lake, I was feeling frisky so I dropped my swimsuit and went underwater and masturbated. After I came, I resurfaced and saw two girls giggling. With their goggles they'd seen the whole thing. FML
Today, I went to the beach with friends. While splashing around in the ocean and waving to my friends who were sitting on the sand, I got caught in a strong current and had to be rescued by a lifeguard. They gave me a wristband that said, "Needs Adult Supervision". FML
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Top comments
tiptoppc 19
My wife of almost 10 years looks quite young. She’s also pretty short and sometimes has to buy clothes from the kids section of Walmart (it seems these days either kids are getting larger than what I remember or my memory is crap), but I’ve had Karen’s go full-blown conniption accusing me of stalking kids there. This is while i’m near my wife. I usually troll them. I also get asked if she’s my daughter. We are a 10 year difference but she’s 31 at this point and it still gets asked. My favorite response is “I’m not sure, depends on how fast I run and if my sneakers are good enough.” The pearl clutching is hilarious. A voice actor in Anime Bill Buttz could stand as an alibi for this, ask him about Anime Nebraskon if anyone sees him at their con. He’ll give you the horror story i’m sure about my auto reply on that
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tiptoppc 19
My wife of almost 10 years looks quite young. She’s also pretty short and sometimes has to buy clothes from the kids section of Walmart (it seems these days either kids are getting larger than what I remember or my memory is crap), but I’ve had Karen’s go full-blown conniption accusing me of stalking kids there. This is while i’m near my wife. I usually troll them. I also get asked if she’s my daughter. We are a 10 year difference but she’s 31 at this point and it still gets asked. My favorite response is “I’m not sure, depends on how fast I run and if my sneakers are good enough.” The pearl clutching is hilarious. A voice actor in Anime Bill Buttz could stand as an alibi for this, ask him about Anime Nebraskon if anyone sees him at their con. He’ll give you the horror story i’m sure about my auto reply on that