Spicy

Missed opportunity

By NOOOOOO - 21/04/2025 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, my girlfriend and her best friend came home after a long night. They both hopped into the bed and were very insistent that I join them. I said I felt weird about it and slept on the couch. The next morning, my pissed off girlfriend said that they wanted a threesome but I killed the mood. Fuck, I'm an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 819

To catch a predator

By Yes I mean EX boyfriend - 20/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I asked my boyfriend of several months about his history with girls. Almost every single one was a girl he met while they were underage, then fucked as soon as they turned 18. When I flipped my shit, he looked at me like I was crazy. "They were all legal, what's the issue?" YOU'RE A FUCKING GROOMER, DUDE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 150

Third wheel

By Anonymous - 19/04/2025 20:00 - United States - New York

Today, I spent a lot of effort making sure my roommate had a good birthday. We've hooked up in the past, and a mutual friend of ours is staying the night. Also someone I've made out with before. We were hanging out and the vibes were good, but when I initiated a cuddle puddle, they declined. Now they are hooking up without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 393

Live a little

By Milly - 16/04/2025 20:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I complained to my girlfriends that my husband constantly wants me to explore his disgusting perversions, like making me call him "Daddy" or putting me on a leash. They all started discussing all the nasty things they'd let my husband do, then said he should find a sidepiece who's "less boring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 692

Rough deal

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I constantly hear single moms being bashed trashed and judged no matter their situation. I just got dumped again for being one. No one seems to know or care that I’m a single mom, because my daughter’s conception wasn’t what you’d call consensual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 102

Wrong place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 20:00 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I slept with a best friend after 32 years of him trying. He is visiting from overseas. I just found out he's had a girlfriend for 17 years, who he forgot to mention, and I’m kind of in love already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 425

Winky

By XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX - 11/04/2025 20:00 - Romania

Today, I was going to have sex with a girl, but when I got my dick out she said, "You got a nice winky." Who the fuck calls a dick a winky unless they're in kindergarten? Felt like I brought home a toddler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 197

You really shouldn't have!

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Rancho Santa Margarita

Today, for my birthday this year, my girlfriend gave me Herpes (type 2) and this morning she decided to wake me up to tell me she wants to see other people. But she "still loves me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 85

Outcast

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I found out the real reason I always had trouble making/keeping friends as a kid and why I wasn’t invited to anything. My parents were aggressive swingers and either successfully fucked, or came on to, every couple wherever we moved. Thanks, you horny bastards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 93

My new friends

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a woman back to my place, but we were both too drunk for sex so we decided to nap for a few hours, then fuck. Yeah, we both woke up covered in red spots. Hell of a way to discover my house has become infested with bed bugs. She ran out so fast… FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 349

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 03:00

Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 170

Bygone days

By No fun for me then - 08/04/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my wife was telling me about some kinky things she did with a previous boyfriend. Since my sexual adventures were fairly limited compared to hers, I commented that I would like to try that sometime. She said, "Why would we have kinky sex? We're already married." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 97

Not for everyone

By Ugh - 07/04/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my girlfriend wanted to role-play non-consensual sex. I was already uncomfortable with the idea, and when she started begging, "No, no" as I stripped her, I dropped the role-play and walked out. Now she's pissed at me. I'm sorry, but this is fucking creepy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 191

Cheeky bastard

By Anonymous - 06/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Corona

Today, working as a massage therapist at a spa, I had a male client proposition me for “special services.” I declined and ended the session. He got angry and told the front desk that I offered him favors. Now I’m suspended while management investigates, when really it’s just his word against mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 82

Suave

By Quiet is sexy - 03/04/2025 22:00 - Romania

Today, my husband whined that our sex life is terrible. I agree. I wish he'd stop killing the mood with crappy pickup lines and crude innuendos every time I act even slightly receptive towards him. It's like he turns into a 14 year-old the second I kiss him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 158

Call CPS

By Help please - 31/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I caught my son "experimenting" with his female friend. When I called her mom and told her what was happening, she said, "I didn't raise a whore. You can keep her!" and hung up. They're both 9. I have no idea what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 143

Righteous fury

By Anonymous - 30/03/2025 20:00 - United States - Draper

Today, I found out my brother-in-law did time last year for being a pedophile. His mommy told my spouse to tell no one that he served time. I'm the sister-in-law and no one told the sister who has young daughters. The pedo is mommy's precious boy who can't do wrong. He did this time. How dare mommy protect him like that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 79

Busted

By Carei - 26/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me that because they found dildos, a rose toy, and condoms in my bedroom, I’m not getting a car for graduation anymore. Also, I have 30 days from my 18th birthday to “find an apartment or something” and “get the hell out” since I’m "such a grown up now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 283

Uneasy

By Anonymous - 24/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my husband bought me some new perfume. It wasn’t really my style but he insisted I try it. Afterward we had some of the best, most vigorous sex of our entire relationship. Later, while visiting his parents, I found the same perfume in his mom’s bathroom. It’s her 'special occasion' scent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 123

Heat of the moment

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 20:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I went to my girlfriend's place to have a study session. Her dad was on a business trip but her mom was at home. We studied for about two hours, then we started getting frisky and started undressing and soon started fucking. We were about 20 minutes in when her mom came in and chased me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 571

To each their own

By engagedtoafreak - 23/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I took off my socks after I got home from the gym. Later, I found my fiance sniffing them, with an enormous boner in his pants. Ew. Ewwww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 190

Oddly specific reference

By Anonymous - 20/03/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend whispered, “Grond will breach it” into my ear, all sexy like. I had no idea what he was on about, so when we were done screwing I looked it up. Grond is a battering ram from a deleted scene in Lord of the Rings that smashes a gate open. Just why? Nerd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 403

Are ya winning, son?

By Anonymous - 19/03/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son has taken over the bathroom, crying because he almost lost his virginity but finished in 10 seconds in his pants. I’d have more sympathy for him except I’ve got IBS and the other 4 people who live here all need to pee. If he doesn’t come out soon, I’ll have to kick the door in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 102

Horrific misdirection

By Anonymous - 15/03/2025 20:00 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, my brother sent me a dick pic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 125

Thanks, I hate it!

By LinkyMan - 14/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out my long distance girlfriend gave me chlamydia, after I spent $1k to fly her out for a week. I paid for an STD delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 153

Parenting is sharing

By Stephanie - 12/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, as a new mother post-partum, I was overwhelmed as fuck. I hit rock bottom. I couldn’t get my infant to stop crying. I already fed him, changed his diaper, and held him. My husband smugly told me, “Why you crying for? You were moaning, “Nut inside me, Daddy” during sex. This is what you signed up for!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 353

Runs in the family

By Anonymous - 12/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my now ex sent his mommy to come get his shit outta my house after we split. I had to physically restrain myself from choking the bitch after she said it was my fault he cheated, and got someone else pregnant, because I “should’ve paid more attention to him.” Fuck her and him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 166

Unionize!

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 20:00

Today, I found out my wife has been sleeping with one of my employees. Now, I can divorce her no problem, but turns out I can’t fire him for personal reasons because he’s in the union. That means I have to work every day with a man who has been inside the woman I shared marriage vows with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 124

Nice try

By Alissa - 10/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my 5 year-old son told me that while I was at work, “Daddy was blowing up Aunt Heather’s balloons.” When I talked to my husband about this, he hastily told me it was for her birthday party. Her birthday is in July. Nice save… not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 99

That chapter…

By Torn AF - 08/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my new husband told me his ex is 10 weeks pregnant from having “chapter closing sex” before getting married. He said he wasn’t expecting this to happen because he had used a condom. He always told me he fervently hated his ex. Our honeymoon and wedding last week was over $50,000, which is nonrefundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 142

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Drunk Party Health Cats Animals Wake up Gross Public freakouts LGBTQIA+ Coworkers Awkward Work Birds Cute Money Ironic Scams Shopping Love Parents Argument Social Media Kids Relatable Miscellaneous Sports Annoying Cheating Weird YouTube

The Top

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 645

You deserved it 8 355

Today, I was leaving college when my yearlong roommate said that he "needed me inside him" before I left. Having just accepted that I’m gay, we had sex. Only later did I learn about the floor-wide bet about me being gay. I still don’t know if my roommate fucked me for fun or for 5 cases of beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 606

You deserved it 1 151

Today, we were driving home from NYC to Knoxville after our flight got cancelled, and we had to drive with 3 strangers for 13 hours. We are now stuck in Who-Knows-Where, Virginia, with two blown tires, because a metal plate fell off an 18-wheeler in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 835

You deserved it 150

Today, I found out why I’ve been covering most of the bills and the rent. Turns out my boyfriend is paying a very expensive OnlyFans subscription for his female bestie. When I confronted him about it, he responded by yelling, “It’s not like that!” and punched our glass patio door, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 710

You deserved it 261

Today, a tenant complained about me on the local news by name. The company I work for refuses to fix the electric in her building. I make $41K per year, and I’m “a selfish millionaire slumlord.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 183

Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 128