Brief encounter

By Angry Orphan - 09/09/2022 15:29

Today, after I got reacquainted with an old friend with whom it'd been 12 years since we last spoke, both divorced, with kids, we started talking, start feeling things for each other. We'd both agreed to take things slow. We spend an amazing weekend together, made plans to spend my birthday together, and then I was ghosted. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 468
You deserved it 171

Same thing different taste

Top comments

The sad fact of life is that we are not always a good match even when things start off positively. “Feelings” are complicated. If you don’t leave yourself somewhat emotionally available, you may miss out on a good relationship. But if are emotionally open you can be hurt when your feelings aren’t returned. One thing a counselor told me when I was newly divorced a long time ago is that, like with a salesperson who struck out on making a sale, you need to tell yourself that every failed attempt at dating or closeness brings you one step closer. It does so because with practice we get better at anything but even more importantly you can then move on from something that didn’t work out to finding the relationship you are looking for. In my observation, there is no one person who is your perfect soulmate. There are potentially multiple people who could be a good candidate for you. And not everyone you like is going to like you back in the same way. You have found gold when you find someone who you come to love and who loves you - You will eventually find that. But until you do, you have to balance being open to love and at the same time not over-reacting so that you get hurt. Life is hard, but most of us get plenty years to eventually get it right.

Did you look at his Yelp review about that weekend? I doubt that he agreed it was "amazing."

Comments

The sad fact of life is that we are not always a good match even when things start off positively. “Feelings” are complicated. If you don’t leave yourself somewhat emotionally available, you may miss out on a good relationship. But if are emotionally open you can be hurt when your feelings aren’t returned. One thing a counselor told me when I was newly divorced a long time ago is that, like with a salesperson who struck out on making a sale, you need to tell yourself that every failed attempt at dating or closeness brings you one step closer. It does so because with practice we get better at anything but even more importantly you can then move on from something that didn’t work out to finding the relationship you are looking for. In my observation, there is no one person who is your perfect soulmate. There are potentially multiple people who could be a good candidate for you. And not everyone you like is going to like you back in the same way. You have found gold when you find someone who you come to love and who loves you - You will eventually find that. But until you do, you have to balance being open to love and at the same time not over-reacting so that you get hurt. Life is hard, but most of us get plenty years to eventually get it right.

Did you look at his Yelp review about that weekend? I doubt that he agreed it was "amazing."