Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't have any money. I also just finished the last toilet paper roll. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML
Today, it's been less than a week since I finally got a job, after over a year of searching. I just found out that there's about to be a wave of layoffs. I haven't even gotten my first paycheck, and already I'm going to lose my job. FML
Today, as I realized I'm too broke to go out and get more toilet paper, I noticed my cat chewing on something and tearing it apart. It was my last roll. FML
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML
Today, I got fired from the job I've only had for a week. Between paying for a physical, my own background check and uniforms, I paid more money to start working there than I'll get from my one and only paycheck. FML
Today, I finished my project two weeks early. Now I am being laid off because there is no work to do. FML
Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Today, I worked for 4 hours and made $28.00. I have $1500 of bills coming due soon. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
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Top comments
bettyc4 26
I'll send you some XD
pm_sky 0
fast food restaurants to restock
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Comments (157)
Joshua137 0
That's gotta be rough.
xSonic 9
I pee what you did there
monkeysareyummy 0
Well that's a shitty way to know you're poor..
Jonkbaby 23
easy make own currency. use leftover paper for toilet papper
Abdul888 16
Dude wash your bum using water! As for money, hopefully things will be good soon..
VoteForTaco 8
Out of toilet paper!? YOU'RE ****** NOW
kooochris1995 14
Time to go outside and get some leaves.
kenji212 8
Hahaha the first thing that poped in my mind was "i need tp for my bunghole!"
Sinforme17 0
Ain't that just some shit eh?
arttyruiz 7
You can always use leaves. :)
SeaMen 3
go to mcdonalds and steal their tp
Palirose 22
OP, you could also just wash yourself down there, it is a lot cleaner that way instead of using toilet paper.
9010649 3
Be a man. Use your hand.
omarzrgz 3
How about canceling your Internet (which you don't need) and buying more toilet paper (which you do need) :D?
iDont_fml 0
Enough with the puns! Please & Thank You!
bettyc4 26
I'll send you some XD
FruityLoooons 8
Toilet paper or money? ;D
simgar98 0
toilet paper of course...
Nekogami 14
I like you Bethy. You're so considerate and helpful. Lawl.
perdix 31
Oh, Bethy, If your profile pic showed a little more of your cleavage, I'd ask you to send me some of that free toilet paper, too! Seeing that you are responsible for the excessive usage ;)
Jakesterk96 8
Just go to public bathrooms and take as much toilet paper as you want.
DreBeezy 9
*98 yeah but, the toilet paper public restrooms use are all cheap and rough....
Jakesterk96 8
You left out free.
meesa 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
umm op use tissues or a cat(just suggestions)
npnptracking 7
What you would see on a cartoon wouldn't apply to real life..
simgar98 0
wtf, u want him/her to put a cat (with claws) at their anus?!?!
periwinkle95 10
Yeah, so your asshole will get fur all over it. Stupid people these days. Haha I would feel sorry for the cat
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
Its newspaper time!
LunaDragon 10
Lmfao, we had to do that when we were kids, talk about rough times. Hahaha.
thisisafunnyname 12
I used to use sandpaper. Now that was really rough.
boofgall 16
Time it around when you have showers, and when (if) you go out other times.
XxHoPPoxX 8
YDI get a job you lazy shit
pm_sky 0
fast food restaurants to restock
ManlyDunsparce 3
5- I got to say. Very ingenious.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
a burger king toilet paper roll lasted me like 3 months one time....with three people in the house. suuuuper legit
wittygirl 8
I've done that before took toilet paper from Starbucks xD their toilet paper roll I'd huge. It's time to go shopping OP go to the mall and use all the restrooms u can find and don't forget to bring a bag do you can fill up!
xMidna 6
I was gonna say this. Or a shopping centre, sometimes they leave rolls out too, might be easier than fast food places as they generally want you to buy stuff before you use their loos.
HollowSanctuary 7
Well if you're that broke than you won't be eating much soon anyways so the lack of to will sort itself out...get a job
HollowSanctuary 7
*tp
TalkingTowelTim 0
Can't just say toilet paper?
KeyboardWarrior 10
Get a job? Did you read the FML? If he could get a job he'd have one. He's been unemployed for a week, how do you know he's not looking?
chels1994 11
Getting a job is far easier said than done
omarzrgz 3
If he's that broke he wouldn't have Internet
Mr_Slave 0
Look likes someones gonna get yucky hands
cc_the_beast 6
* first world problems
Jonkbaby 23
twss
xx000o 27
Go to some fast food places and build up a supply of napkins, or in the most gross ex
xx000o 27
Sorry about that, one gross extreme would be to tear up some old rags and have reusable toilet paper. Another option would be to use a bidet.
DjeePee 25
Cavemen used moss, so...
Jonkbaby 23
caveemen use moss for money? amerika so crasy!
audiophileMom 11
Like most problems this one too will solve itself once you run out of food. FYL OP. Things'll get better.