Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't have any money. I also just finished the last toilet paper roll. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML
Today, it's been less than a week since I finally got a job, after over a year of searching. I just found out that there's about to be a wave of layoffs. I haven't even gotten my first paycheck, and already I'm going to lose my job. FML
Today, as I realized I'm too broke to go out and get more toilet paper, I noticed my cat chewing on something and tearing it apart. It was my last roll. FML
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML
Today, I got fired from the job I've only had for a week. Between paying for a physical, my own background check and uniforms, I paid more money to start working there than I'll get from my one and only paycheck. FML
Today, I finished my project two weeks early. Now I am being laid off because there is no work to do. FML
Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Today, I worked for 4 hours and made $28.00. I have $1500 of bills coming due soon. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bettyc4 26
I'll send you some XD
pm_sky 0
fast food restaurants to restock
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (157)
TheFirstSamurai 18
I had a job, but the boss man let me go. I've got no money and I've just run out of toilet roll.
DalPozzo13 10
Grab some leaves from your yard
SxeDaze 13
If all other suggestions fail...time to cup the hand and go to work.
wriptidez 0
food pantries
cosmosis 12
Quit smokin billies man! You not making any sense
CallMeHush 1
So the bear that just took a dump asks the rabbit "do you you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?" When the rabbit says "no" the bear picks him up and wipes his ass with the poor bunny. If you get stuck, find a rabbit.
nebula748 14
lik dis if u crey evry tiem
upyourzlolz 11
... The commenters from YouTube have arrived...
zingline89 18
24, get off FML or learn how to type like an adult
dd1257 3
Peter Murphy !!!!!
dd1257 3
Lol I meant Eddie Murphy
JackSteely 8
Unless you don't live all by yourself in the woods with nothing but trees and bushes, you could always ask your neighbor for some. Nevertheless, FYL
fpike17 0
Get our economy going and vote obama out!! Vote republican in 2012!
SammaWhamma 3
GTFO
JackSteely 8
Republicans new campaign strategy; trying to get votes from FML readers.
Lauaries8 16
STFU 21, shit started long ago before Obama. OP needs to get a job. I've got three and lots of TP
Dramori 29
Steal from hotels, takeaways and public toilets... Then hang your head in shame for leeching off society you welfare-slag! :)
drunkenmonkey04 2
And yet you have internet and a computer :D
Legendoflaw 4
He could have an iPod and using hotspots.....
zingline89 18
Its not like the second they become unemployed their internet gets shut off and they sell their computer/phone.
peachesncreem 21
Internet is like air or water. It's a necessity.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
if op wanted toilet paper badly enough he would probably sell his computer...just sayin
LunaDragon 10
Or he could wipe his ass with his phone. (previous fml reference)
TonyIsMyDog 2
Agree. And...your hot.
TylerOMFG 7
Man do I know that feeling.