Money: Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't... - FML

By INeedMoney - 28/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't have any money. I also just finished the last toilet paper roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 699

You deserved it 5 021

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Same thing different taste

Use your socks

By Anonymous - 14/03/2021 05:01 - Norway

Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 214

By a fat fucking shit and proud of it - 28/06/2014 19:09 - United Kingdom - Camberley

Today, it's been less than a week since I finally got a job, after over a year of searching. I just found out that there's about to be a wave of layoffs. I haven't even gotten my first paycheck, and already I'm going to lose my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 386

You deserved it 3 777

By Broke Ass Hoe - 28/12/2017 15:00

Today, as I realized I'm too broke to go out and get more toilet paper, I noticed my cat chewing on something and tearing it apart. It was my last roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 759

You deserved it 598

Autopilot

By TuteBananaCupcake - 29/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 545

Crackers

By smurftastic - 03/09/2013 03:03 - United States - Murrieta

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 558

You deserved it 3 806

By sailorpete - 30/06/2019 02:25

Today, I got fired from the job I've only had for a week. Between paying for a physical, my own background check and uniforms, I paid more money to start working there than I'll get from my one and only paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 937

You deserved it 291

By bowhuntpa - 16/07/2009 12:00 - United States

Today, I finished my project two weeks early. Now I am being laid off because there is no work to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 105

You deserved it 4 097

By PoorGal - 19/10/2015 18:04 - United States - New Orleans

Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 033

You deserved it 5 789

Meritocracy, amirite?

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 05:01

Today, I worked for 4 hours and made $28.00. I have $1500 of bills coming due soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 174

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 636

Next

Top comments

bettyc4 26

Saturday 28 January 2012 11:36

I'll send you some XD

pm_sky 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 11:38

fast food restaurants to restock

Comments

ilove80smetal 8

Sunday 29 January 2012 0:26

Start collecting leaves... OR hold it until you find a job. Or shower after you crap.

SAMbaby808 6

Sunday 29 January 2012 0:32

Pee in the shower.

RKD 23

Sunday 29 January 2012 1:03

A buddy of mine used to load up on napkins from fast food restaurants,,,,don't worry, op, when you run out you will get very creative as to how to find tp!

moomoomeow2 7

Sunday 29 January 2012 2:25

I hope things will be okay!

structuredchaoz 4

Sunday 29 January 2012 3:53

Wish you luck man. Keep at it. Things will get better.

roxybeachgirl7 3

Sunday 29 January 2012 4:23

I know this might sound a little ridiculous, but honestly, if you have zero dollars...not enough to get any toilet paper, then maybe go to a public restroom and take some?

honeyBabie 1

Sunday 29 January 2012 8:33

Maybe you should re evaluate ur priorities... You need toilet paper and not acess to the Internet.

stevets01 6

Sunday 29 January 2012 9:07

Not to be rude but you've been unemployed for a week and you have no money at all? You really need to learn how to save. Then again I don't know your life story so maybe you did need every penny.

cscott3131 0

Sunday 29 January 2012 9:47

Times are tough. If you have to shit then shower. You got to do what you got to do. Keep your head up though. You'll find work eventually.

beautyful_mess 0

Sunday 29 January 2012 11:35

Ooohh sucks to be you

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The Top

Today, I had a whole month off before I started my new job. On day six, I had to go to the ER because of a kidney stone and had to get a ureteral stent. In two weeks they will remove the stone, then another week until they remove the stent. I will be recovered just in time for my first day of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 72

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 698

You deserved it 9 549

The Top

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 46

Today, my girlfriend is presently out of town on business. I thought I was doing pretty good at not missing her, then I woke up refreshed and ready to tackle the world and found one of her hairs in the bed (which was WAY too long to be one of mine). And became severely depressed again because I miss her so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 502

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 607

You deserved it 4 449

Today, within one day of meeting me, my stepmom decided to break up with my dad. Her reason being, "I love you, but I just can’t put up with the kid." I’m 'the kid'. I’m 28 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 206

Today, my friend explained to me that the toilet paper in his bathroom is "just for show." Now I know why his hamper smells like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 795

You deserved it 129

Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 761

You deserved it 37 035