Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
Today, I'm so broke, I resorted to breaking into my old apartment complex to do my laundry in the basement for free. FML
Today, my household ran out of toilet paper so we have to shower after every dump. My mom just confessed that she does in fact have money for shit tickets, but won't buy any because it's the only way she can get my brother to shower. FML
Today, I decided to take a well-deserved shower. When I let my hair down, twenty six cents fell onto the floor. I have no idea how they got there. FML
Today, while showering, I broke the cap off the shampoo. Not my shampoo, my roommate's. The $60 shampoo I swore I wouldn't touch. FML
Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML
Today, after nearly two weeks of being stressed out due to financial issues, I decided to spend my last 4 dollars on stress-relieving body wash. Apparently this particular body wash causes me to break out in hives and now I have no money for rash cream. FML
Today, I was trying to be extra productive and washed all my clothes at once, including my bedding. I hung everything to dry and only realized too late that I had no dry sheets to sleep in. I ended up sleeping on a bare mattress, wrapped in a bath towel, like some kind of sad burrito. FML
Today, my wife went and bought a set of fancy, expensive towels and threw all our old towels away. These new towels don't dry. I've been rubbing myself for ten minutes and I'm still wet. How did she buy expensive, broken towels? How do you make a towel that doesn't dry? FML
Today, I took a shower in a beach house we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML
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Top comments
BloodWiper 3
Was the camera guy following you?
sarbear293 4
If those things do what they say they do that doesn't sound like a problem to me!
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Comments (224)
BloodWiper 3
Was the camera guy following you?
airforce987 20
Your gonna love his nuts!
blackbelt25 12
You'll be saying "WOW" every time.
n_epic_fail 14
The Sham Wow guys is a creep... And he Rushes threw the whole commercial like he actually has a life.
Xr70r7 4
Til' your bifocal curious? Ok I'll stop
kooochris1995 14
Wait, so how did you dry yourself before?
Kyzahhh 7
Atleast you can shower! Be thankful
BrickWalls 2
SHAMWOOHOO :D!! Awww Yeahhh
xcdog16 0
Slap chop ya face make a double chin salsa
ICaughtFire 4
Has anyone else seen the.commercial for the "Schticky"? "Problem with that shedding pussy? Clean it up with the Schticky!"
ArcadePie 10
I have to use my sock :(
iPhone216 7
Win
The_Tool1 13
183, shut up. Gingers have no souls.
IntenseGas 0
202- Don't talk to the gingers, they will attempt to take your own soul.
Nxty 2
Well, did it work??
iamabamf 17
I'm sorry, I'm sure it'll get better. Best of luck, OP.
moop256 10
Well op start stealing your neighbors wifi (internet bill) watch tv on project free tv (cable bill). Wear lots of clothing to save on heating costs, only take cold showers. Buy a shit ton of Kraft dinner, mr noodles and misc. can food in bulk. Go get some card board and start a fire to cook your food (only if you live outside of the city and have a back yard) and that's how i've lived for the past years. I only spend $50 a month actually
moop256 10
*on food and bills not rent...
Annon99999 9
.
moop256 10
Thumbs this comment down if it's sad that I live like this
moop256 10
Thumb this down if it's sad that I live like this
moop256 10
Saddest part is I used to be a doctor
tparis123 5
If u can go on FML your not that bad off. Stop trollin for attention
moop256 10
Oh I can go back home and be a doctor again but I wanted to see the world so I decided to go canada for a few years however I'm not legally allowed to practice medicine so I work 4 assisting a legal doctor which is legal amount I can work in my visa. After this I'm going to brazil were I can again practice again. :)
tparis123 5
Good. Go back there and stop trying to steal hardworking American jobs.
moop256 10
After that I plan to go home where I will make about 500000 Libyan dinars a year, which is the equivalent of about 450000 of your American dollars.
moop256 10
Ps I live in canada. I would swear at you but I can tell you have your problems if your getting angry at some random guy on the Internet. I hope things work out for :)
tparis123 5
Cool. Another 100000 and u can buy a stick of gum
tparis123 5
PS Canada sucks
moop256 10
You pay $100000 for gum in America i knew your economy had taken a hit after the recession but damn man thats bad I'm in the wrong business ;)
tparis123 5
In dirty Mexican money 500000 can buy u a happy meal at McDonald's. USA
moop256 10
Like really your money must be ******* worthless like if your gum is that much, like that wouldn't buy the most disease ridden ***** in tripoli
tparis123 5
Whatever happened to mr. no curse?. He lose his job again? :)
moop256 10
Oh well sir I'm from Libya which is across the sea from Italy in Europe I'm not even close to Mexico. We are a country mostly built on massive oil reserves since about 1950. The oil made us the richest country in Africa that why I get paid the same amount as doctors in America
tparis123 5
Blah blah blah. All the same in our book:)
moop256 10
I'm sorry but like really that caught me off guard 100,000 for gum how much is the minimum wage in America like $400000 an hour. I bet my Canadian dollars are worth like $10000000000 x ten to the power of 100
tparis123 5
Your probably not even a real doctor.
moop256 10
Depends what country I'm in Canada no in USA yes in Mexico yes ,brazil yes, china yes, Russia yes, Libya yes
tparis123 5
Watching scrubs doesn't make u a real dr FYI (:
moop256 10
What's scrubs?
moop256 10
Wow they reset the thread now we can only wonder what the conversation was that that led to that ^^^
moop256 10
Thanks moderator that guy was kind of an ass. But I want to know what scrubs is now :(
Sirin_fml 47
It's a TV show, a comedy series about trainee doctors.
moop256 10
Thanks Sirin I tried googling it but all I got was people in shitty looking clothes. By the way is that picture like a cartoon drawing of you,
Sirin_fml 47
Sort of.
moop256 10
What do you mean by that?
Sirin_fml 47
It's an evasion. The last person to ask me that question was Jimmy Hoffa.
moop256 10
Can trouble you tell me what an evasion is?
moop256 10
Ohhh wait did you mean the union guy who went missing?
moop256 10
Well if you did kill him my first question is why you didn't kill nixon?
moop256 10
Maybe I should learn more English "the island"
bargarlm 2
Well does it work?
somerandomdude19 2
Was it a free sample?
Rddvl 11
Samples are usually free..that's why they're called samples...
sarbear293 4
If those things do what they say they do that doesn't sound like a problem to me!
ClassyCommando 13
*gets out of shower* "You're gonna love my nuts!"
yankfan89 27
Could be worse you could be using napkins
griffins33 4
Me and my friends had to use paper towels after we swam in a pool. It was great :D
TourettesGuyFTW 26
or a dirty tshirt...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
ah shiiit! someone already mentioned dirty tshirt. shit!
rcloca 10
Sham-wow!
thisisafunnyname 12
Then the ghost of Billy Mays jumps out and says "BILLY MAYS HERE!"
moop256 10
I miss that guy...
Gringe 1
Dont see how lack of towel equals broke... They r really not very expensive. And wtf happened to ur towel? I mean they dont expire...
Dcm210 19
that actually sounds like a good idea
fattylumptard 1
How can you not afford a towel? If anything use a dirty shirt.
Kara_rated 5
8- Why would he use a dirty shirt? That's stupid. If I were to use a shirt, it would definitely be clean.
fattylumptard 1
Then you are just ruining a perfectly clean shirt
fattylumptard 1
Then you are just ruining a perfectly clean shirt
rawrspriinkleme0 0
That would definitely defeat the purpose of cleaning herself, she might as well not shower at all.
Kara_rated 5
If you use a dirty shirt you're ruining a perfectly good shower. And if you just got clean, its not gonna dirty up the towel.
marpay 11
Top sheet maybe? Especially a flannel one.
zombiegold 23
I think a ShamWow would dry you better than a dirty t-shirt.
docscientist 10
Might as well vacuum the carpet and roll around naked on it...
bitchesbcrazy 0
What I wanna know is how to get a free sham-wow in the mail
fattylumptard 1
You have to beat up a prostitute
moop256 10
Does the prostitute mail it?
hockeyhouse 5
So that's why I never got mine.
fattylumptard 1
She gives you a postcard that you mail to the British dude in jail
Pentium_4 27
those things do work lol. how do they do it??