"Shit ticket for one"

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 15:00

Today, my household ran out of toilet paper so we have to shower after every dump. My mom just confessed that she does in fact have money for shit tickets, but won't buy any because it's the only way she can get my brother to shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks 3 139
You deserved it 258

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

I'm worried. You seem to be living such abject poverty that you accepted that your entire family can't afford toilet paper, before finding out it was a ruse. Are you really that poor, or does your mom just hide money in order to get her kids to behave a certain way? Also... shit tickets?

I'm just really happy that shit tickets seems to be catching on.

Comments

I'm worried. You seem to be living such abject poverty that you accepted that your entire family can't afford toilet paper, before finding out it was a ruse. Are you really that poor, or does your mom just hide money in order to get her kids to behave a certain way? Also... shit tickets?

It’s in the urban dictionary. Some of these new slang terms are just stupid.

‘Shit tickets’ is far from new. I first heard the term 20 years ago. The person I heard it from used it while in the Marines in Vietnam.

It's as old as WW2 when people would use useless ration cards which were very thin and looked like large bus tickets, hence "shit tickets"

TomeDr 24

Your mother is a genius!

Umm ... TMI!!!

Get him a bidet for his b-day?

I'm just really happy that shit tickets seems to be catching on.

I feel like showering after every dump will cost more than buying toilet paper....

Yeah they just need to get one of those toilets that sprays your bum with water after you shit.

boopingsnoot 24

A bidet! Wish I had one.

You guys at least can afford a poop knife, right?

Couldn't she buy some and keep a secret stash, grabbing a few sheets before entering the bathroom? Your family could still use it and your brother be none the wiser.

Couldn't she buy some and keep a secret stash, grabbing a few sheets before entering the bathroom? Your family could still use it and your brother be none the wiser.

You can't buy your own TP? Im sure there is a Walmart or McDonalds close by.

"Welcome to McDonald's can I take your order?" "Yes, I need some McShit tickets. Please. Fresh. Uh. Not used. $12.75? Sure, ok. Thank you."