Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML
Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML
Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, a colleague was telling me she still breastfeeds her 4 year-old son, and that she has breastfed kids of her neighbours too. She kept talking about it and I ended up staring at her ample breasts. She noticed and asked me if I wanted too. Now I don’t know what to do. FML
Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
Today, a client came in to pay for her storage unit, and like every other time she comes in, she lifted up her shirt and practically showed me her boobs. This lady is in her 70s and is morbidly obese. Oh, and she also told me that the Nazis had the right idea. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
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Top comments
thisiscool19 14
Rude old lady...that's new
katieemerr 15
Unlucky OP! Now repeat after me; "I must, I must, I must improve my bust"
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Comments (107)
cailey1234567890 24
Awe Thats gotta hurt. But you know It happens to the best of us
cakefete2 31
Yea, OP, don't let it get you down. I dare say, perk up.
cailey1234567890 24
Shit why'd i get down voted? I was just saying It eventually happens to everyone. Ouch people. Ouch
zZLightZz 13
people don't like the truth
sofaqueen_ 14
Just be like, "at least I'm young and I can fix 'em!!"
cadillacgal79 32
Why do you type like this ?
cryssycakesx3 23
maybe she tho ught this wou ld help get her less downthumbs I don't think it worked...
cryssycakesx3 23
can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow?
cailey1234567890 24
Ive always typed like that. Its a different thought, so its a different line. Thats how they teach it in school. Just apply it to my typing on my phone. And heres to even more down votes because i was honest again. Woot
cailey1234567890 24
Well. That made no sense. Whoops
cailey1234567890 24
But in all seriousness, i dont type the way you just were. Im not an idiot. I finish my sentences, and even my words before i go to a new line. But thank you everyone for judging the way i type when it had nothing to do with what i said.
JBChristian 47
You're very welcome.
onealmxwilson 18
I don't know where you go to school where they teach you to do that but I can assure you it's wrong. When you end one thought and go to another, all you need is a period, a space, and a capital letter. The only time you do the next line down thing is if you're writing dialogue for a story and someone else starts talking. Or if you're writing an essay and are going to a new paragraph, but that doesn't apply here either.
godzillawood10 5
Idk about u guys but I was taught write the way she does but like every thing else in school went through one ear and out the other
spatula232 25
You obviously weren't taught grammar properly either.
cailey1234567890 24
Well. I guess im just an idiot. -___-
cryssycakesx3 23
finally something everyone can agree on.
OysterPearls 33
*snaps fingers in Z formation*
cailey1234567890 24
Yeah Im the idiot. When someone cant understand simple sarcasm. Im done
MissSarcasm01 18
I don't know what school that's at but it seems like they aren't teaching you shit. Good luck a Standford, dear.
cryssycakesx3 23
67- the only one that can't understand simple sarcasm is you, sweetheart.
slipstreak 10
You need to stop.
foxwasalamb 24
73- do you really have to be mean? thats three comments now all to cailey just doggin on her
euphoricness 28
Guys, LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!
taywuzhere 11
Honestly, if you have a problem with her way of typing, or her education, you need to get over it. It's none of your business and she can space out her lines anyways she wants to. End of story.
Schizomaniac 24
I feel 8.3% dumber after reading this thread.
jojimugo 20
Shut up Meg
Animekid126 13
It's "none of our business". We're allowed to reply to someone aren't we? Following along with your thought, why should we give our opinions on Fmls? I mean.. it is none of our business!
reneetlovesyou 30
@91, that's #82's way of saying "Shut the **** up and let it go."
hailey16 9
You go girl. Tell 'em off. Just a bunch of assholes, every one of them.
dragonrider1959 18
The one time he insults himself he gets up voted. He said something nice so just stop being sticklers.
dragonrider1959 18
You are just a friggin asshole. You are the only idiot in this conversation. Now get the **** out of this site because obviously kindness and understanding as well as empathy are not your strongest suits.
sacrosanct2 23
#rekt
thisiscool19 14
Rude old lady...that's new
zZLightZz 13
I know right!
teentee401 37
Um, where have you been? Lots of old people (even ladies) think they can say whatever they want cause they're old. I have come across plenty of rude old ladies.
ChristianH39 30
Obvious sarcasm is obvious
ChloeTDCC 7
#31, their avatar is Sheldon Cooper, therefore they don't get sarcasm and need a sarcasm sign.
enu_vastanii__ 9
It's supposed to be a pun..
katieemerr 15
Unlucky OP! Now repeat after me; "I must, I must, I must improve my bust"
91hayek 31
Sounds like OP needs to call uncle Rico for some Bust Must Plus.
Respect101 17
That movie was so stupid funny. But on to the saggy ****, yeah sorry OP, hope your a girl though..... just kidding I know you are.
cryssycakesx3 23
lol just roll them up OP!
Respect101 17
*Austin Powers Goldmember, Fat Bastard during purple nurple from Austin* "Oooooo, my *******!" Oh and btw, Michael Myers plays Dr. Evil, Austin Powers, and Fat Bastard! I've known that, but I like to spread the word around.
ticklewhizzer 5
Scooby Dooby Doo, I want bigger boobs.
Amama_fml 30
I'm going to start singing this now!
gjikvtj 18
Ok
Tobber 16
Ouch! Bet she is wrong though! :)
Wizardo 34
Well new scientific research shows wearing bras contribute to future sag - so let's burn the bras FOR SCIENCE of course...
cadillacgal79 32
I personally like my bras, so my boobs don't bounce all the time.
RedPillSucks 33
me too.
cryssycakesx3 23
I've heard this too. it weakens the ligaments that naturally keep the breasts a'perked. akin to wearing a cast on your arm. science bitch!
chlorinegreen 27
I don't wear bras often, mainly camisoles. Does that count as a bra?
hailey16 9
A'perked? And your criticizing someone else's typing? Your just making words up now.....
ChristianH39 30
While we're all being grammar nazis, you're*
Random4Dayz 19
You should not worry about what a random old lady says if you love you that's all that matters
PenguinBitch 44
Did her husband come afterwords describing his *ahem* sagging... ...man boobs a well?
LisaDay 14
i was expecting his saggy balls.
IMSCARJOHANSSON 24
Don't worry, I'm sure someone will honor those boobs.
Sariasprincy 7
That's older people for you - sorry, OP. Though if you think she's right do push ups. It'll perk them up again!
JustKittyKat 24
Sadly, no amount of exercise can fix the elasticity of ligaments.