By HeartToFart - United States - North Port Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML I agree, your life sucks 48640 You deserved it 6704 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Indianagirl94 - United States Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML I agree, your life sucks 27508 You deserved it 3337 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML I agree, your life sucks 56405 You deserved it 3813 204 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 129825 You deserved it 5429 244 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Monroe - United States Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 31266 You deserved it 4229 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By deepblue - United States Today, we ordered pizza. A long wait and several phone calls later, we found out that someone met the delivery person at the end of our driveway, signed our receipt, and stole our pizza. Way to check the credit card pizza people. FML I agree, your life sucks 30874 You deserved it 3020 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Ontario Today, I spent half an hour trying to convince my husband not to re-enact a video he saw online of a guy tying some rope to a running chainsaw, then swinging it around his head. He finally agreed not to do something so stupid. A few hours later, he did it anyway. FML I agree, your life sucks 24718 You deserved it 2608 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - York Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML I agree, your life sucks 46708 You deserved it 3984 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By corey - United States Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML I agree, your life sucks 30170 You deserved it 2317 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sandra - United States Today, I was working with some shelter puppies transporting them to the vet's. I got all of the puppies in but one, and when I went to pull him out, I realized he had gotten car sick. Before I could stop it happening, he wagged his vomit-covered tail and hit me in the face. FML I agree, your life sucks 26636 You deserved it 3098 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DefinitelyNotDogshit - United States - Levittown Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML I agree, your life sucks 49582 You deserved it 3653 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - Denver Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML I agree, your life sucks 33758 You deserved it 2705 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML I agree, your life sucks 40766 You deserved it 18287 196 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alex - United States Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 9088 You deserved it 32776 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By litterbox_girl - United States Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML I agree, your life sucks 16773 You deserved it 70978 201 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shaverguy - United States Today, I got an electric shaver hoping that it would reduce the risk of cutting myself than shaving with a manual one. However, I cut myself opening the plastic package with the shaver inside. FML I agree, your life sucks 39701 You deserved it 13540 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I bought a new Ipod to replace my old one which decided to stop working. After purchasing my new nano Ipod, I decided to bang my old Ipod on the desk very hard because it was useless. It started working again. FML I agree, your life sucks 29129 You deserved it 9563 184 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Twilightsux - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML I agree, your life sucks 38172 You deserved it 6110 277 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By in love with an idiot - Angola - Luanda Today, my soon-to-be husband showed up with an animal print suit at our engagement ceremony. FML I agree, your life sucks 10177 You deserved it 1633 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stillloveherthough - Germany - Aachen Today, my girlfriend had a complete breakdown. I was trying to calm her down and reassure her that she will accomplish all of her dreams. Her response: "Then why am I even with you?" FML I agree, your life sucks 23232 You deserved it 2010 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 29772 You deserved it 22113 262 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Bellevue Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML I agree, your life sucks 3598 You deserved it 505 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By skunkcat - United States Smelly business Today, I was drunk in a hotel lobby with some of my cousins. I went out on the patio to get some fresh air when I saw a black cat in the bushes. I went straight over to it and started to pet it. I realized too late that the black cat was actually a skunk. FML I agree, your life sucks 550 You deserved it 1616 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By buymeadrank - United States Today, is my long-anticipated 21st birthday! Today also happens to be the first day of my period. I've spent the whole morning in the fetal position with agonizing cramps, reduced to tears and whimpering while the painkiller refuses to kick in. Happy birthday! Love, my uterus. FML I agree, your life sucks 95467 You deserved it 9267 331 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/1/2021 02:01 On a scale of 1 to Annoying… Today, I was telling my friend how much I love my 20-year-old kitchen scale, because it has this one handy function that even new ones don’t have. Later, my mom melted it on the stove and isn’t even convinced she should buy me a new one. FML I agree, your life sucks 839 You deserved it 58 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RedheadA - United States Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was just wearing socks. FML I agree, your life sucks 38060 You deserved it 3595 137 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sarah - Canada - Penhold Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML I agree, your life sucks 29030 You deserved it 3044 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lacy - United States - Louisville Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML I agree, your life sucks 45272 You deserved it 10334 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wtf - United States Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML I agree, your life sucks 10798 You deserved it 24443 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UnhappilyUnemployed - United States - Madison Today, I had a job interview. It went really well until I couldn't figure out how to open the slide door to get out of the room. FML I agree, your life sucks 42527 You deserved it 6157 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bunsostriker - United States - Dearborn Today, I found out where my stolen car was. It was all the way in Maine. I live in Ohio and I got a $300 fine for illegal parking. FML I agree, your life sucks 31501 You deserved it 2112 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Phoellie - United Kingdom Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML I agree, your life sucks 67841 You deserved it 5179 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my wife started checking her email on her Blackberry while we were having sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 34914 You deserved it 10519 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UniGrad2019 - United States - Fredericksburg Today, after months of all my friends telling me that the guy whom I was in love with most definitely held feelings for me, I was finally convinced by their words, and with confidence I went and confessed my feelings to him. I was rejected. FML I agree, your life sucks 21700 You deserved it 1966 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Hialeah Today, my friend was complaining about about her new boyfriend. Playing around, I told her that he sounded a lot like my ex. He is. FML I agree, your life sucks 28590 You deserved it 2323 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML I agree, your life sucks 135594 You deserved it 24391 268 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cpiro - 27/5/2020 05:00 Live from the chopper Today, my friend borrowed my car and decided to get pulled over after a high speed chase. My car got towed in a town over 100 miles away. Choose your friends wisely. FML I agree, your life sucks 1437 You deserved it 297 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/10/2020 11:01 - United States - Marietta #ForeverAlone Today, I woke up realizing that not even the scammer that I told I would pay for her friendship wanted to be my friend. FML I agree, your life sucks 825 You deserved it 251 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By onthemarket - United States Today, after being with my boyfriend for seven years, he finally proposed. To another woman. FML I agree, your life sucks 48493 You deserved it 4147 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BoCoMoGal Today, my phone reset, wiping the touch ID on my credit card. I can't remember the password so I'm locked out. I tried 'forgot password', but you need to have the physical card. The card is tucked away in the bank lock box. The key to the lock box is packed in one of the 150 boxes we have prepped to move. FML I agree, your life sucks 4715 You deserved it 2395 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By noname - United States Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 61228 You deserved it 8253 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yahoowizard | 16 #6002727 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:06 At least it's a rare occurrence? The gas, that is. Send a private message 106 2 Reply
By singer0421 | 32 #6002732 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:08 At least you weren't having both at the same time. Wouldn't be so incredible anymore... Send a private message 98 2 Reply
By yahoowizard | 16 #6002727 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:06 At least it's a rare occurrence? The gas, that is. Send a private message 106 2 Reply
Reply wastedpenguin | 14 #6002752 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:22 seeing as it was the "first time in months" and it wasnt sex im assuming the sex is rare too.. Send a private message 44 3 Reply
Reply Vagitarian1 | 10 #6002766 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:43 That was a gripping story. Send a private message 9 12 Reply
Reply Enslaved | 36 #6002775 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:56 Get a grip to let one rip? Send a private message 42 3 Reply
Reply sofaqueen_ | 14 #6002789 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 10:30 I say F your life indeed Send a private message 5 13 Reply
Reply incoherentrmblr | 21 #6003332 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 21:46 Fart Your Life. Terrance & Phillip would be proud of you... Send a private message 6 2 Reply
By meladuh | 16 #6002729 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:07 Still good to let it all out. Send a private message 60 1 Reply
Reply Yeshua_fml | 19 #6002744 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:15 Yeah at least some kind of bodily explosion was occuring. Send a private message 18 1 Reply
By rebeltw | 15 #6002731 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:08 im not sure if im grossed out or incredibly jealous Send a private message 5 35 Reply
Reply EmmaWasHere | 11 #6002739 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:12 Cue taco bell's why not both commercial Send a private message 31 3 Reply
Reply Animekid126 | 13 #6002771 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:50 That's taco bells commercial? Send a private message 22 1 Reply
Reply Enslaved | 36 #6002778 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 10:04 Nah, it's some commercial for store bought taco shells. However, one can't help butt to think "Taco Bell" when speaking about gas. Send a private message 24 1 Reply
Reply Simplyeatapples | 15 #6002804 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 10:45 #3 why jealous? Send a private message 4 4 Reply
Reply MissStephanie | 10 #6002891 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 12:59 Old El Paso, start somewhere fresh Send a private message 5 1 Reply
Reply EmmaWasHere | 11 #6004444 - Friday 11 July 2014 2:20 Oops I meant some taco commercial, and Taco Bell just came to mind. Sorry about that ^ Send a private message 1 1 Reply
By singer0421 | 32 #6002732 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:08 At least you weren't having both at the same time. Wouldn't be so incredible anymore... Send a private message 98 2 Reply
By lnheritance | 19 #6002733 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:09 Just imagine it was incredible sex. Perhaps it'll make you feel better about the situation? Send a private message 20 5 Reply
Reply Respect101 | 17 #6003360 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:28 Until the smell hits you.... Send a private message 8 0 Reply
By rileyrae | 11 #6002735 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:11 That seems extremely intense. Send a private message 19 2 Reply
Reply derpscone | 5 #6003671 - Thursday 10 July 2014 7:46 Haha well said Send a private message 1 1 Reply
By carrotcart | 15 #6002740 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:13 taco bell perhaps? Send a private message 21 1 Reply
By 1915destroyer | 22 #6002742 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:15 Yeshhhhhh 1st!!!!!!!!!! Jk 10 lol Send a private message 0 6 Reply
Reply LifeMD | 14 #6002764 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:35 You know, there's a little grey number to the left of your username at the bottom of your comment box. It tells us what comment number you are and it's usually very accurate. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By DocBastard | 38 #6002743 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:15 Letting out explosive gas can sometimes feel just as satisfying as an explosive orgasm. And just as messy. Send a private message 67 4 Reply
Reply zandalee | 19 #6002808 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 10:47 Poor Mrs Doc Bastard... Send a private message 17 9 Reply
Reply cakefete2 | 30 #6003028 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 16:08 Just remind them not to light a cigarette after they pass the gas. Send a private message 9 1 Reply
Reply Respect101 | 17 #6003363 - Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:29 #33, *Mr. DocBastard. plus he is obviously a doc. so Dr. DocBastard? Send a private message 0 12 Reply
Reply anticulas | 12 #6003554 - Thursday 10 July 2014 3:26 If he is a Doctor, the name on the account would suffice. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Reply Chibi_Kitten | 24 #6004603 - Friday 11 July 2014 7:00 #50 because Mrs. DocBastard would wake up to that Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Today, I went on a date. I didn’t want to go to his house, but we all have needs. I told him I should leave because I needed my medication in the morning.... I agree, your life sucks 291 You deserved it 187 7 Comments
Today, after drawing a huge portrait of a homeless man to raise awareness about homelessness, I showed it to him. When I told him I was glad he liked the... I agree, your life sucks 490 You deserved it 106 3 Comments