Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML
Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML
Today, my brother and I ruined our mother's birthday by fighting. She's 76, we're 55 and 54 and yet still unable to comport ourselves like adults. She yelled at us and then "showed me" by eating the dish he made but not mine. I reverted to teenage coping tactics, dissociating like a boss, and hiding in my room. Worst family visit ever. FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, I went over to confront my parents about how my siblings always get to visit and all I do when I’m over is work on their house or take care of grandma. My mom was very upset. Then she snuck out with my sister, leaving me to take care of grandma until she got back. FML
Today, what should have been a nice family dinner ended with my wife standing over me, staring me dead in the eyes, while endlessly repeating, “Get him out of my house, get him out of my house…” until I agreed to take my drunk brother to a hotel to sleep it off. FML
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Top comments
meow_jess 11
I would have left after the first punch, nobody deserve to be treated like that and alcohol is not an excuse.
Pleonasm 36
Sounds like a typical family gathering then. I mean, at least for me. Gotta stop the mario party+Monopoly marathons.
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Comments (85)
meow_jess 11
I would have left after the first punch, nobody deserve to be treated like that and alcohol is not an excuse.
MrBrightside21 20
1 - People treat me like that all the time. I mean, I guess it hurts my feelings sometimes, but the "Get off our lawn you filthy naked drunk!" is too far.
license2chill 5
Man, what a family... I will let the punching slip, but slapping across the face definitely crossed the line, drunk or not, at least it crossed mine..
Pleonasm 36
Sounds like a typical family gathering then. I mean, at least for me. Gotta stop the mario party+Monopoly marathons.
carry_on 19
Happy family reunion, no wonder you don't want to visit very often!
misunderstood94 15
I wanna know what you guys were talking about that they just attacked you like that.
Free4ever 6
How rude to treat a guest, sorry you had to go through that. Hope next time is better.
Michael_92 20
If there is a next time...
loserman67 36
Ahhhhh... One man's family...
HowieDoIt 21
Is another person's trash?
Pleonasm 36
White Trash maybe.
RvidxrKlvn 8
Does anyone elsw consider "white trash" a racial slur? Honest question.
evig_fml 16
Is another man's psychopathic next door neighbors?
ColdplaySucks 18
"Most dysfunctional family since the Jackson ******* Five"
anythingmustbe 18
I got the ERB reference
evildemonchild 18
Lmao
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Poker Faceee ;)
kate714 12
I wish I could thumbs up this more :) I love them!!
GothickNihilist 15
I can see why you don't visit often. My family is like that so I feel your pain OP. I hope that your relationship with your family gets better over time.
_Burnett89 9
Wow all families have their issues but that's going beyond
Artsygirl90 14
Your family could have its own reality show. We all know what people would pay to watch family violence.
anythingmustbe 18
Family cant live with them but by the sounds of things you have better chances of living, without them.