Today, I was cutting the grass, it was really hot and I fainted. I woke up to see my mom standing over me. I thought she was going to freak out and call an ambulance. Instead she said, "Good, you're up. Now you can finish." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML
Today, while I was cutting myself some watermelon, my mom walked in. I could tell she hadn't taken her medication in a while because she freaked out, grabbed the knife, and burst into tears before yelling at me, saying I could have cut myself and bled out. FML
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
Today, after staying in bed all day for a week from sickness, I get up to tell my mom I have terrible back pain and feel extremely dizzy. After curling up on the chair next to her, not being able to keep my head up for too long, she simply stares at me and says, "Can I finish my dinner now?" FML
Acting out
Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML
Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML
Top comments
AsianCookie247 14
What a loving mother you have there.
jjames7543 13
Mothers, you gotta love them. Especially when your best interest is in their mind...
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Comments (79)
AsianCookie247 14
What a loving mother you have there.
22cute 17
She probably thought Op was sleeping on the job. If you don't see someone faint you don't usually assume that's how they got there.
emag_eht 18
The mower was still probably on since OP fainted in the middle of using it. I think that would be enough to make it seem like something's wrong.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
It could have likely been a reel mower.
nictransitglory 4
Lawn mowers shut off when you release the handle, so it wouldn't sill be on. And honestly what would calling an ambulance do but give your mom a huge bill. Here is some free medical advise for what to do for fainting: drink some water, have a cookie, and man the **** up and finish cutting the grass you lazy pussy.
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
46, even though I'm on mobile and can't see OP's location I'm going to say this. Some countries have free healthcare that you pay for through taxes therefore a bill isn't a problem.
Marcella1016 32
46 - OP could've had heat stroke. OP could've died. OP isn't being a pussy, you're being an asshole. Heatstroke is some serious shit...
saksxalmo 20
Unfortunately OP is American, so it doesn't apply here.
nictransitglory 4
Your right 51, he obviously had some serious life threatening health issue which is the only reason he is able to post online same day. I may be an asshole, but your a retard.
saksxalmo 20
#67-- you're* Come on, surely people can't be stupid enough to STILL make this mistake?
Ambreanna 0
Talk about tough love!
jjames7543 13
Mothers, you gotta love them. Especially when your best interest is in their mind...
sidviciousmum 3
Your mums awesome ,, no pocket money for u ,, sleeping on the job u lazy shit lol
boofgall 16
3- Don't be a lazy shit yourself and spell the words properly.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Speaking of spelling words correctly, why do British (and apparently Australian) people say "Mum"? Where does the U come from? I've always wondered that.
Ispeaklanguages 4
That's how it was originally pronounced.
AliceLockehart 18
When Americans pronounce it, it has more of an "O" sound, almost like "Morm" whereas when we say it (Australians, that is) it doesn't. It pretty much sounds exactly as its spelled.
StoryOfTheYear 15
16- I assume the word mom came from mother, and obviously mom/mum are both slang for that. I'm not saying it's wrong. I asked where the U came from as mom correlates to mother far more than mum. Please tell me off if I'm wrong here though. 17- I know people consider Americans unintelligent but we don't sound like trolls. XD I don't know anyone who slurs it enough to sound like it has an R in it.
therealslim 15
We spell it 'mum' because we pronounce it 'mum'. You you spell it 'mom' because you pronounce it 'mom'. It's simple logic
AliceLockehart 18
I wasn't trying to be rude about Americans or anything :). Maybe it's just me then, cause whenever I've spoken to my American friends there's just the slightest hint of an "R" sound in the word.
MrsPegg 45
Alice, you are one of the first people who have ever given me insight to our accent! I've asked people from other countries to describe it, but they can't! Thank you! (And for my fellow Americans I'm not saying that our "morm" pronunciation of mom is bad. I'm simply very curious how we sound to outsiders) ;)
AliceLockehart 18
Haha, you're welcome :). I'm a little TOO obsessed with accents :3
DespairFaction 11
I have never heard anyone pronounce mom like morm.
yahoowizard 16
Well, the first half of mother sounds more like mu than mo to create mum.
AliceLockehart 18
As I said, it may only be me that gets that sound in the pronunciation.
Alan2 24
20- Or is it the other way around? Do we pronounce it that way because we see it spelled that way and read it phonetically? Hmm....
onlychildFTW 34
Americans spell things and pronounce them the way they are spelt. It is different then a lot of the other countries. Color/colour is an example. Mum/mom. When saying mother you say it as mu-ther not mo-ther. So when spelling out mum/mom mum was made because of the "uh" sound. And American language, you have to remember, was made different then British on pourpose because of the Anti-British feelings when the language was being developed.
saksxalmo 20
#64, I agree with everything you said (a lot of people think American spelling is different because "Americans are stupid" or "can't spell") except for the fact that you used the term "American language". XD An honest mistake, I'm sure.
blcksocks 19
So.. Did you finish?
nignoranus 4
"that's what" -she
florencesummer 0
I wouldve told her to finish it herself, just like she has to do it with Dad; her personality is just too ugly.
zamattiac 4
correction: "That" -she
WCARlover 35
Mother of the year award goes to...
StoryOfTheYear 15
This probably describes a good portion of first times... Except replace "my mom" with "her".
maskedman 9
This sounds like my first time too. Don't replace anything.
COOL__Coal 12
Can't live with them can't live without them.
kevin7879 0
who the hell does chores anymore?
xXUND3ADcityXx 0
You don't deserve a dislike people disliking are probably older because everyone I know doesn't do chores including me
igive 29
i do
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
People who aren't lazy *****, that's who. Age has nothing to do with helping around the house. At least it shouldn't, anyway.
trollcrusher 17
People who aren't sitting on their obese ass playing video games all day, that's who. It also can help develop a good work ethic, which it looks like at least 1 or 2 people here don't have.
xXUND3ADcityXx 0
I do sit and game but I get paid to do it so that's not a lazy shit that's a job
choppedfisher 0
Am I the only one who skimmed this and thought it was about a kid getting walked in on?
kevin7879 0
now that i red it over... ya it does look like that
wanna_bee 8
READ. Now that we know you don't do chores, we also know why you cant spell-you don't do your chores, which in the long run will cause you to fail drastically at life. How will you ever succeed if you are unable to live on your own?
PotatoSupahNinja 3
Did you finish? :3 Nah I'm joking OP. Next time wear a hat and bring a bottle of cold water with you. Or do what my husband did and get one of those ride-on mowers.