Today, I was cutting the grass, it was really hot and I fainted. I woke up to see my mom standing over me. I thought she was going to freak out and call an ambulance. Instead she said, "Good, you're up. Now you can finish." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML
Today, while I was cutting myself some watermelon, my mom walked in. I could tell she hadn't taken her medication in a while because she freaked out, grabbed the knife, and burst into tears before yelling at me, saying I could have cut myself and bled out. FML
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
Today, after staying in bed all day for a week from sickness, I get up to tell my mom I have terrible back pain and feel extremely dizzy. After curling up on the chair next to her, not being able to keep my head up for too long, she simply stares at me and says, "Can I finish my dinner now?" FML
Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML
Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML
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Top comments
AsianCookie247 14
What a loving mother you have there.
jjames7543 13
Mothers, you gotta love them. Especially when your best interest is in their mind...
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Comments (79)
ferrousWheel 6
wow, not only is she a bitch, she has no idea how unintentionally dirty her sentences sound.
ChickInGreenVans 12
She probably thought that you were just 'chilling' on the grass!! So to her it was probably more or less just another day to her.. O well..
Isoldael 27
-nods- it surprises, me that no one brought this up earlier. OP's mom probably thought her kid was just sleeping - it might have looked like that, and nothing says that mother saw OP faint.
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Oh mothers... They have their strange ways lol
br0ccoli 15
Not even a glass of water?! Time to break open a fire hydrant and frolic in the cool water! Water the grass and rehydrate! Two birds with one stone.
messedup6549 1
Sounds like my mother
AliceLockehart 18
At least she didn't wake you up & scream "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!"
Madrias 36
Perfect reference to another FML! Thank you muchly for the needed laugh!
DespairFaction 11
You obviously don't have any Mexican in you.
ajpopoca88 3
wow parent of the year award goes to...
TheStallion86 2
Sounds scarily like my mum...We could be brothers!
Nish007 15
lol parents