Anonymous
United States
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Username
United States
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
thanksdad
Dublin, Ireland
Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML
TheSublime
United Kingdom
Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML
yomamma787
United States
It hurts when I pee
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
romea244
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Reflex
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Broderick
United States
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
dogpatch087
Ventura, United States
Shout the victory
Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML
Anon
United States
Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML
Ouchhh
United States
Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML
Top comments
emeraldon 7
Yeah, gotta love those lightning quick reflexes and how they come in handy when you really shouldnt have them.
DocBastard 40
Yeah, those cacti are vengeful *******. Either that or you're an idiot for catching one with your bare hands. While you're at it, would you give my pet porcupine a bath? He's quite tame, I assure you.
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Comments (146)
emeraldon 7
Yeah, gotta love those lightning quick reflexes and how they come in handy when you really shouldnt have them.
jojoboy 0
Sometimes being the hero just aint worth it
That0therguy 4
Well it was worth it! Oh, wait. It was a cactus.
scottieclark 4
Ouch!!
vturbz91 0
Out a cactus.. I'll catch it, idiot
hellbilly205 17
Seems like a prickly situation...
AnonymousTroll 2
Let the cactus hit the floor, let the cactus hit the floor, let the cactus hit the floor, let the cactus hit the FLOOR!
Jazzy_babe 2
I don't know what's worse catching a falling cactus or catching a falling knife by its blade??
RaggleFrock 13
I caught a 3 blade razor whilst it was falling. Ten years later the finger it sliced up still plays up in the cold weather. But then again I also once caught an arrow...with my kn...*boom* *splatter*
skitzofunia88 8
There's only one kind of cacti worth saving, and it doesn't even have spines. It's called Lophophora williamsii, if you don't know what that is, look it up.
Cad6 24
It's a ******* cactus. I think you would get more hurt than the cactus. Use your brain OP, YDI.
zombicidal 11
52 just caught a cannonball with his face
AssTard 15
What the hell did you expect?
RaggleFrock 13
83 her*
Darkruler 5
If you paid attention, you'd find that it was the same account, correcting their gender.
LightningCactus 12
Thank you for saving one of my people with your LIGHTNING fast reflexes, hinting at my name.
laden_swallow09 35
38 - "I can only count to four. I can only count to four. I can only count to four. I can only count to FOOOOOUR!"
ShortNotice113 5
The cactus was just showing its affection for you saving its life o.O
blackheart24 10
1- and how you don't have your reflexes when you do need them.
mgubi4568 0
Nice catch! Sometimes natural instincts hurt.
ICATiger 13
When I saw this FML I thought of Splinter Cell the game.
thiscrazything 1
Yeah, nice catch. Too bad the catchee was so very ungrateful.
silentbutfunny 0
I thought of a hand full of splinters I landed on one with my hand to stop my fall once. ******* sucked
cheaptrix 6
What a prick
mgubi4568 0
Pun time is fun time
kimcompton83 12
Good Job!!!!
Ozuru 11
Looks like someone -takes off sunglasses- was in a prickly situation. YEAHHHHHH.
blegehlehgleh 0
NNNNNNOOOOOPPPE!!!
kdawg360 0
Boooooooo
ScottieJo 8
I thought that was great.
Nbrandwine 7
Nope.avi
franniedottp 8
Nope. Chuck Testa.
grapist111 4
Or, the cactus wanted to POINT out how much it dislikes you by becoming a little PRICK... No? Okay...
TheGothGamerGirl 20
Why would you even save a cactus? When I first read this, I thought it said cat. That would be a lot more pleasant and rewarding.
rattusrattus 19
Although equally spikey.
MrSassypants 34
Why would you save it? Well, I would save it because it is a beautiful creature that needs to be told it is beautiful. I would take a bullet for a cactus. I would hold it in my arms and treat it like it's the only cactus in the world, how a cactus should be treated, I would do many things for a cactus. The cactus, my lover, is a gorgeous thing. Crazy am I? Love knows no boundaries! Say me and the cactus are too young? Love knows no age! Cliché? Cliché love, me, cactus, cliché.
fistnazal 10
I guess the cactus didn't want to be saved? You can't save cactus's.. Cactus's have to want save themselves
Torva_fml 16
Cactus's? If only there was a plural for cactus!!! Ooh, wait......cacti you say? Hmm, genius.
houseofhate0 3
Atleast now you can use your hand as a spikey mace.
mpsteve137 15
This is like that time I tried to save that porcupine.
princev3 4
I would go to the local church in I were you. Only someone possessed by Satan would try and save a cactus from a painful death. I go to home depot and buy cacti, just so i can hang them by the bottom and watch them suffer a painful ordeal. You OP are not very intelligent. One time I picked every one of the cacti's thorns out and stuck in back in, pointy end first. Grow a soul OP, murder some plants if you want to be cool.
Yak99 0
Ohhhh christians......
The_Troller 14
Ohhhh bad jokes...
DocBastard 40
Yeah, those cacti are vengeful *******. Either that or you're an idiot for catching one with your bare hands. While you're at it, would you give my pet porcupine a bath? He's quite tame, I assure you.
The_Troller 14
And make sure you dry him by hand, I've heard that animals don't do too well when sent through the dryer.
Torva_fml 16
At first I thought you were going to insult people for owning cacti, and was about to go post about how my aunt kills anything that requires daily watering...... But then I finished!.. And realized I agreed with you.
micahsmommy 13
55 - please tell me all that went through your brain in 2 seconds, 'cause that's a lot of disagreeing and then agreeing for just two sentences.
DocBastard 40
Sevrandy, I'm very impressed that you're spry, but I'm not sure what that has to do with anything. Obviously my humour doesn't appeal to you, and that's fine. But obviously there are people who do appreciate it, so why denigrate it like that? Does that somehow make you feel better as a person? All your comment accomplished was to make you look like an insecure, jealous ass.
micahsmommy 13
108 - not only do I appreciate Docs humor, but he stood up for me in a previous post so that earns him my respect. I'm guessing that most people appreciate that he's very honest. If you're an idiot and draw attention to your idiocy he'll call you out on it.