Anonymous
United States
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Username
United States
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
thanksdad
Dublin, Ireland
Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML
TheSublime
United Kingdom
Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML
yomamma787
United States
It hurts when I pee
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
romea244
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Reflex
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Broderick
United States
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
dogpatch087
Ventura, United States
Shout the victory
Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML
Anon
United States
Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML
Ouchhh
United States
Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML
Top comments
emeraldon 7
Yeah, gotta love those lightning quick reflexes and how they come in handy when you really shouldnt have them.
DocBastard 40
Yeah, those cacti are vengeful *******. Either that or you're an idiot for catching one with your bare hands. While you're at it, would you give my pet porcupine a bath? He's quite tame, I assure you.
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Comments (146)
shinshoku13 19
Im sure the plant was grateful and is very sorry his prickly body hurt you :3
Gtaylorfication 0
Why did you catch the suicidal cactus, you dipshit!
wittygirl 8
Awe my hero
rafay_le_rao 2
:D so thought you are Rambo ay?
micahsmommy 13
Well at least it thanked you. And now I'm sure it will apologize for thanking you so aggressively.
SixShooterSambo 4
You should have let natural selection do its job and let the "suicidal" cactus die. YDI
idl3mind 0
That cactus is an ungrateful prick!
princev3 4
Why do my comments always get deleted?
micahsmommy 13
Because the mods are evil and hate you. Haven't you read DocBastard's profile? He explains it all. :)
muffinXmonster 12
Hope it wasn't your jerking hand.... XD
bettyc4 26
YDI for saving a pointy plant