Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, barely 2 hours into a 5 hour car ride home, my mom accidentally let slip that she's been cheating on my dad. I had to sit with the bitch in a diner for ages while my dad bawled his eyes out alone in the car. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
chahacha599 0
In the back she goes
tylersign 11
"Why is it getting louder when it's getting hotter...?!?!? I don't understand technology these days." I'd record that. YouTube gold.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (57)
MattRoseen 12
Sounds like a great car ride!
chahacha599 0
In the back she goes
PeeblesWiggins 0
"'Cause you're hot when you're cold.."
msjoyfull84 0
In the trunk she goes.
derpster 7
why throw her in the trunk when you can tie her underneath the car?
rallets 23
"change the station, this song is too hot"
sugarandspice33 0
2- your picture is so cute!
brittneylove 0
Lol.(:
tylersign 11
"Why is it getting louder when it's getting hotter...?!?!? I don't understand technology these days." I'd record that. YouTube gold.
Justin23L 2
YouTube gold requires cute kittens
shawnabuchanand 0
looks lyk a piece of dook with hair on it
tellithowitis 13
Throw her out of the car in some random place. Problem solved
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Maybe it's just me, but as drunken stepmothers go, thats kinda boring.
Buttsexpirate 9
"This song sucks! It just goes whooooooosh! Where's the catchy hook?"
SillyFart 7
I see what ya did there ya pirate!
flockz 20
"this song is so hot!! makes me want to take my clothes off!"
upyourzlolz 11
*Sees child-sized penis*
flockz 20
*points and laughs at child size penis* *realizes mocked penis is larger than own*
fancyclown 9
*looks in pants* *tear trails down cheek* *rides horse into sunset*
maddylovesu 5
*awkwardly stares at a bunch of exposed tiny dicks*
Buttsexpirate 9
50-Too small for my crew at least.
graham11 14
Anyone notice gurggle deleted his account? I feel accomplished actually!!
maddylovesu 5
*covers eyes*
ColtsDoug18 0
She must not think you are hot enough to be her "daughter.." ANYWAYS you only have to deal with it once, it's more like F your dads life
Dracoboxer357 36
(Agrees with ColtsDoug18. Sitting with a ranting drunk once isn't so much fyl for you as for daddy)
rttr 18
Thats pretty funny, welcome to the favorites page.
perdix 31
Max defrost with recirculated air still sounds better than Rebecca Black.
nixter5 18
And nails on a chalkboard.
rallets 23
and your mom
IAMYOURPINEAPPLE 9
Yes, because your mother definitely sounds much better than all of the above. You make a great point.
rallets 23
thank you