Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my ex-roommate, who decided to move out when my other roommate and I told her we didn't want a giant dresser for her dogs' clothes and stuff in the dining room, took the door knob out of the door to her former bedroom and threw some of my things in the recycling bin. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, my housemate, who never cleans, cooked tacos, then left her dishes for the rest of the evening. When shown a bowl of murky water in the sink, she denied it was hers, prompting my vegetarian housemate to clean it. Putting her hand in the bowl, she found a lump of raw taco meat. Yum. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, so I made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informed me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
Today, I came back to my dorm to find my roommate forgot to get rid of her massive amounts of cheese before break. She did, however, remember to unplug the refrigerator. FML
Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that included the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
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Top comments
enonymous 9
It's like Easter egg hunt with meat!! Measter!
Im2Handsom 1
Shove a potato in her muffler.
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Comments (111)
Ballzdeepinya 0
First
foodlord 5
Where did she get it all?!
bemylove123 9
I'm guessing the grocery store.
FYLDeep 26
She slaughtered a cow in the bathtub and ran it through a meat grinder in the kitchen.
Freeze_fml 17
Raw hamburger meat usually derives from cows.
boofgall 16
She sounds psychotic. Kick her out fast!
s0m3guy2010 21
14- Does that mean that KFC is looking for a new mascot?
kcircuses 1
30-no they aren't because KFC is chicken not cow
s0m3guy2010 21
30- This is getting off topic, but you realize that the KFC mascot is a cow holding a sign that's says "eat more chicken" right?
s0m3guy2010 21
that says*
s0m3guy2010 21
Sorry 39. I was thinking of Chik-Fil-A. In my exhaustion, I got the two confused.
zombicidal 11
colonel Sanders is actually a cow that tried to lead a war against other livestock and decided to start with chicken true story
boofgall 16
Is it just me, or was # 30, 40, 41, and 43 all a conversation to themself?
badluckalex 23
the other comment (s) are either moderated or later in the comment section. either way im too lazy to check lol
enonymous 9
It's like Easter egg hunt with meat!! Measter!
KoolKidFly 0
New public holiday. Tell Obama!!
KoolKidFly 0
New public holiday. Tell Obama!!
KoolKidFly 0
New public holiday. Tell Obama!!
KoolKidFly 0
New public holiday. Tell Obama
CalCommando 6
Collect them all! And if you don't your house will smell like shit!
ShakeMeDown 12
Nope.
lol_ironic_life 9
I almost thought this FML was leading to her stuffing raw meat down someone's throat. 0_0 Then yes she would've been even more crazy!
markrs 0
I like raw meat down my troat........................ How else do I eat sushi?
AshleighNason 24
lol
heathz 9
hey OP look on the bright side, at least she didn't stuff it down your throat!!
SkoomaKi 28
Actually, that would be better. I feel hungry now :(
ambamm135 7
Oh god the house must have had a putrid stench sorry op
Im2Handsom 1
Shove a potato in her muffler.
NotMuchLuck 0
Boil'em, Mash'em, Stick'em in a stew
noobgang7 5
Pour sugar in her gas tank
You_Need_Soap 6
*****, it's stick a ***** in the tailpipe.
Thizzkidsgotgame 7
Its best not to f*ck with crazy people. Just get her outta there. And tell her to take her meat with her.
bemylove123 9
What a waste of perfectly good food.
cntryiscntrywide 0
I'd kindly kick her ass, and shove her face in the meat.
False_Stupidity 42
Is there a way to kick someone's arse kindly?
heathz 9
oh...didn't notice someone else made a comment about " meat being stuffed down the throat" my bad!! :o)
KJON 0
Let me have a taste