Username
United States
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Ouchhh
United States
Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML
Anonymous
Today, I purchased a cactus in a cute little pot and put it on my windowsill so it could get sun. Unfortunately, that's also where I have my alarm clock. Guess which one I grabbed in the morning. FML
thanksdad
Dublin, Ireland
Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
TheSublime
United Kingdom
Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML
yomamma787
United States
It hurts when I pee
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
dogpatch087
Ventura, United States
Shout the victory
Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML
Anon
United States
Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
romea244
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Reflex
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Top comments
GigaB 0
don't sleep under a cactus?
redbluegreen 41
Faceplant.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (261)
GigaB 0
don't sleep under a cactus?
Angi95 3
talk about a wake up call.
UnicornHunter 12
/facepalm
imosim 0
Keyman1212 14
More like face-cactus
Deamoner 0
why.......?
Garyy_fml 11
*facecactus
hidinginthesky 0
your cactus just wanted to give you a friendly hug
flockz 20
but the real question is " what knocked it over?" u must be a violent sleeper.
ImFrackinBored 13
Yeahhh... i usually choose not to put a cactus on a thin windowsill right above me...
kendallhi 9
isn't putting thorns inside of you therapeutic
worldcupcheer17 0
51- not cactus thorns..
redbluegreen 41
Faceplant.
idontcare8l 3
and this is why cati are not a good idea for and home decoration
FarSide 23
Your face is a cactus? FYL.
CasualZombie 6
the moment you realize you're terrible at finding places to nap and that cacti are ******* stupid things to have in your house: priceless.
ColorfulDonut 7
"YOUR FACE, GODDAMMIT"
redbluegreen 41
#51, I don't think thorns are what most people like to insert inside themselves.
bill929 7
haha must have been watching hellrasier
daisyloo 7
Well, since you were sleeping under the window sill where the cactus was, I'm guessing you were sleeping outside. When you fall asleep outside, bad things are bound to happen. FYL:(
idontcare8l 3
you know there are window sills inside ( above your bed maybe )
changetheworld 0
What were you doing putting your face near cacti..?
KiddNYC1O 22
Facetime.
honeysuckel 0
133, didn't you read the FML? FaceTime is with Apple. we're talking about cacti here, not apples! D:
KiddNYC1O 22
135- Well here's a cookie.
BooGhosted 0
51 is talking about acupuncture and making a joke about it doy!
honeysuckel 0
137, i only accept biscuits
KiddNYC1O 22
Yum.
zendaddy0 0
at least it wasn't an anvil that said oops on the side
schmegsable 6
agreed, poor planning
Randuhh_17 4
is someone praying for you?
StudMuffinette 17
yeahh' thats true...
FunnyWeasel 7
78 thanks mr.obvious
caseylynn91 0
haha, not sure anyone else got that.
Delta2Almanac 7
so there I was, taking a nap, minding my own business. . . .
mishyyyb 5
my thoughts exactly!
LolMoqz 10
LOLOLOL #78 got me bad on that one! I always laugh when I hear that quote(z
TheJester12 15
cacti: the pricks of the plant world.
lmfaoooooooooo 4
Today, after falling from my thin windowsill several times my owner insisted on keeping me there so while she was sleeping I decided to fall on her face. FHL.
Captain0bv10us 0
Good thing most cacti aren't fataly sharp or poisonous.
Captain0bv10us 0
156: you're welcome
tappm98 22
lmao
idontcare8l 3
126- they were sleeping....
tkdgold03 5
haha who even needs alarm clocks anymore... so overrated..
LaidToRest48 9
Oh god I read "While I was fapping".
acedragonand 0
oh no these plants are attacking now beware!
umithinkyess 0
omg neville longbottom killed Voldemorts snake and that helped Harry kill Voldemort!!!! and Ron's older bother, Fred, died
Tektite 14
LMAO! That must have hurt like a bitch. Your life sucks.. Sorry OP.. Cactus face XD
xlord 27
what a prick
lalala2589 0
Plants vs Zombies. The plants always win:p
thefriendlyc 0
it's happening! ehh see what I did there?
umithinkyess 0
Omg neville longbottom killed Voldemorts snake and that helped Harry kill Voldemort!!! Oh and Ron's older brother Fred and snape died:(
zendaddy0 0
nice one asshat dont read 170
iLove2LoveU 0
170 ******* ruined it for all of us who haven't seen it yet!!!
knights95 9
Way to go 170 u ruined it for all the nerds on FML.
knights95 9
Way to go 170 u ruined it for all the nerds on FML.
lovinit5683 0
#170 You asshole!
knocking 0
Now, I don't know these things - I'm not a fan, but if you've read the book shouldn't you already know what happens? Or do they change a bunch of things for the movie?
absolutegrrr 7
I hope you get burried.
gogreen8856 0
ouch!
BaconDave 12
I'm never reading buried comments again. 170 is a dick.
scarletdragonfly 5
170 - Jesus chirst, you asshole! Good thing I've already read the book...
umithinkyess 0
oh woops have u guys not seen the movie yet?? well I have and I hope I didn't ruin it for ya guys
Banana_Pancakes6 0
170 - Go swallow some poisonous snakes then turn on you garbage disposal and stick your hands down it you little ******* twat
jamie72596 9
How does that have ANYTHING to do with this FML?
Camillams 2
Ouch! I'm sorry
JesusFishTaco 5
Sorry? So it was you who knocked over the cactus!
xlord 27
free acupuncture?
Dabestisjlee 0
Hahaha Ouch!
_Oblivion_ 12
Thats completely irrational. It obviously tickled.
tsume24 3
4, I ******* LOVE your car ._.
tonydizzle 0
did you name your cactus Bryan?
ifmlftw 0
lmfao
MaeSoccer42 0
I love ray:) imma marry that bastard
Iamnotmyself 17
-119 I'm going to have sex with him first.
IWarnedYou 0
Why do people say that on here and on YouTube? Whats it from?
F0xyTurtle 8
YESSSS
PinkHorset 5
I Love RWJ =3
mahomie97 7
nahh man, it's name is bob(;
tonydizzle 0
it's from standup from demetri Martin it's funny
ObeseKitten 0
YOUR FACE!! GODDAMMIT!!
imosim 0
I was waiting for someone to make this reference
tonydizzle 0
lol I'm less nurturing than a desert....that's not true....ladies hahaha
stuner56 22
obesekitten, you're awesome
hawty12345 0
HAHAHAHA I love you for that. :'D
shamille 5
gahahaha. yes.
IWarnedYou 0
I've missed something here. Why is that saying on YouTube and here?
lukeypucky21 0
lol lol was thinking same exact thing!
AstroWatermelon 0
so you know that there's a cactus there with the window open,and yet you still decide to nap there? so smart
katgurl 13
Why would you sleep under it ? x.x
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Maybe she didn't expect it to fall?
kingfin88 0
your hot
Uraharas_Bankai 1
At least you woke up to the the fresh feel of nature
mahomie97 7
agreed!:D
fckdupzf 0
u need to see a plastic surgeon asap O_O
sheethapins 13
Yes, only plastic surgeons are able to pull out cactus needles.
TheBeatlesAreLov 0
So I definitely read your comment in Stewie's voice...made it 10x funnier
fckdupzf 0
plants don't grow up in the air on it's own. it was planted in a pot and the pot must have landed along with the plant. therefore he needs a surgeon to fix the distorted face. I had a friend who lost one of his eye and had to go through a long surgery. his situation is quite similar to this fml
knocking 0
It could have been a cheap plastic pot and therefor didn't cause any additional damage (besides the needles from the cactus). And even if it was a heavy pot, it doesn't necessarily mean OPs face is messed up. I'm sorry about your friend, but he needed surgery after a similar situation doesn't mean that everyone who goes through something like this will.
noahlazarowski 0
excactly