Health: Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face...

By Username - 15/07/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 195

You deserved it 7 942

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Same thing different taste

By Ouchhh - 25/05/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 900

You deserved it 4 543

By Anonymous - 27/10/2017 06:03

Today, I purchased a cactus in a cute little pot and put it on my windowsill so it could get sun. Unfortunately, that's also where I have my alarm clock. Guess which one I grabbed in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 228

You deserved it 2 675

By thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 812

You deserved it 6 278

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 16:52 - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 406

You deserved it 32 980

By TheSublime - 21/10/2009 13:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 852

You deserved it 4 645

It hurts when I pee

By yomamma787 - 24/11/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 892

You deserved it 54 444

Shout the victory

By dogpatch087 - 02/01/2020 03:00 - United States - Ventura

Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 500

By prickly - 11/10/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 029

You deserved it 2 857

By Anon - 24/03/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 406

You deserved it 32 281

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 510

You deserved it 3 861

GigaB 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:38

don't sleep under a cactus?

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:27

Faceplant.

Comments

HannahForbesxo 13

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:45

It was just adding some small holes in your skin, to help it breathe. That cactus was doing you a favour!

RabidBunny 10

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:45

Cactuses can be a pain...or is it cacti...the plural of cactus? Whatever, don't sleep under a cactus.

Cleao18317 11

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:55

cacti is plural

SleepOnStones 5

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:45

I am so sorry! Move the plant ASAP!

UsernameIsUsed 9

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:46

just hit the snooze button...

tacocannon99 5

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:48

I hate it when that happens...

asianpandabear 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:48

I guess you could say that it's a stuck up plant...

iAmScrubs 19

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:49

That's how they perform acupuncture in the desert.

coltsrock37 15

Saturday 16 July 2011 3:19

beat ya to it Scrubs!

coltsrock37 15

Saturday 16 July 2011 3:19

beat ya to it Scrubs!

Weetart 8

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:52

Goes to show you, never get too close with inanimate objects.

miZscrZee 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:53

LOL.

mad_hatter0666 22

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:54

oh! sorry, Op. that just hurt me. -_-

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 155

You deserved it 68 072

Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 154

You deserved it 1 134

The Top

Today, I went for a job interview I scheduled 3 weeks ago. I spent $200 on a new suit to really impress them and practised like crazy every imaginable question they could ask. They already had filled the position 2 weeks ago and forgot to inform me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 397

You deserved it 2 808

Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 711

You deserved it 599

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend only stayed with me because he didn't want to "be alone," and now that he has a new girlfriend, apparently he won't be. We were together for three and a half years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 983

You deserved it 3 120

Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 914

You deserved it 2 887

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 180

You deserved it 21 832

Today, whilst in the break room at work, a girl I don’t know walked into the room. She gave me a look of utter disgust, then turned and walked back out of the room. I was so shocked, I burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 91

Same thing different taste

It hurts when I pee

Shout the victory

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