Today, I signed the divorce papers my wife gave me. When I went to bed, she was on the phone talking to her new boyfriend. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got a separation agreement from my wife. It was sent from the lawyer she spent the long weekend with right before she told me it was over. FML
Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML
Today, I got a gift from my wife in the form of divorce papers. She waited till after New Year's so it wouldn't show up on her taxes for 2011. FML
Today, my wife said she wants a divorce. Three days ago, I added her onto the title to my house, my bank accounts, and my business. FML
Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML
Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Today, after I filed for divorce, the papers were received by my soon-to-be ex-husband on our wedding anniversary. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML
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Top comments
dcg_957 0
Call: 1(800)-choke-dat-hoe
ImNotANapkin 0
She moves on fast..
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Comments (200)
ImNotANapkin 0
She moves on fast..
jonagoo 8
Nah. That's nothing. My ex had a new boyfriend 2 weeks in.
linstar 13
Think of it this way - she's his problem now!
memob123 0
19- ok, but she was not your wife
mattorama 15
I hate to tell you, but your ex didn't have a new boyfriend "two weeks in." She already had him, and left you for him. Cheating just looks bad during the divorce proceedings.
DeboDaGreat 3
I don't agree with her actions but... Its good to plan ahead haha
gojira666 7
Uhh 19 since when was two weeks more extreme than the day of....
welandedonthemoo 5
She proly already had him on the side. Who knows
bubbly31 0
If your getting divorced why are you still sleeping in the same bed
ejjamael 5
if she have any sexual activity with him during the process, the judge will rule you in favor
GeeTwo 11
I know right? It is pretty sickening.
Danny0522 8
Too soon?
ScaughtieHolden 11
I like your picture, it's funnier because they spelled atheists wrong. Oh and what does oxygen in space have to do with being religious or not?
ItsTheKing 10
I like his picture too.
ItsTheKing 10
@47 and it's suppose to be a supporting argument for the Christian god being real. But I'm pretty sure scientists have proved why the sun does burn and stuff. Since scientists like to prove all my favorite claims unexisting. Like the g-spot. ):
hurtandabused 7
It doesn't need oxygen to burn there's helium n many more gases that burn better that way
Danny0522 8
The picture is mocking the blind stupidity of most people, mostly religious ones who do anything they are told. The sun does not burn, by the way, it glows due to a process called nuclear fusion.
dcg_957 0
Call: 1(800)-choke-dat-hoe
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
Hey.. How did you get my phone number?
princev3 4
sTurt hvvin seex wid dAt hoe she boyfrind aint gut nutnn that be stupd
princev3 4
daS yo folt, IF yo gunda LeT yo BiTch of her leshe ThEn Least at **** da hooe so Hard her booty CakES bleed fur weak's on end. Ize sik of PPL been So STUpid on dis webzite givvumn shiTTy advize. dumm idoits man
Krirn 21
In the Yellow Pages, under Massage Services.
bettyc4 26
Kick her out
SkoomaKi 27
Women are like tornados, they come in a swift movement, take your house and everything you own.
Gandretti 0
:)
PlaySpades 21
You probably shouldn't still have been living with someone you were going through a divorce with.
ankoku 2
Yea, and record the call! If she is committing an infidelity wouldn't that nullify her claim to 50% of the Op's stuff?
horneyhic 15
Depends on the state
thiscrazything 1
He signed the divorce papers. I don't think infidelity is an issue any more.
Vekzzza 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Did you not expect her to move on?
eb0ny 15
It was likely she was going to move on. But not less than a day after her divorce...
xStaciexLynnx 15
They have been fighting and not really together for a long time. It's expensive to get a divorce and most people don't do it legally right away.
ProhibitionRose 14
34- that's entirely speculated.
GreenAppleDP 0
34, you really got all that out of 2 sentences? That's quite an imagination you got there.
musicluvr2000 11
Very vivid if you ask me. Don't let your imagination run wild, it can cost you.
k327684 0
Lmao, dude! xD that made my day. Love ur profile pic btw :)
RuCheezBurger 10
Sorry man :| Good thing you divorced her, I guarantee you'll find someone better.
GeeTwo 11
Thank you.
studdmuffin1990 7
That sucks. Same thing happened to my dad so I know it can really b hard to take and b a killer on your self esteem :(
crimsonprodigy 15
If its your house then kick that ***** out.
Dirty_Minded_FML 2
Get revenge by sleeping with her sister ( if she has one)
jonriise18 3
Or her mom.
crimsonprodigy 15
To be honest the chances of either options are pretty rare, unless the mom is a widow. *shrugs*
zombicidal 11
I don't know whoredom runs in the family
CaptainPickles72 18
Or her brother. It has more shock value! Gay sex, that will show her!
crimsonprodigy 15
I think that would work, I lol'd. This might put OP at a tough decision about his sexuality though, he will be treading some shallow waters from that point on ;0
DV1980 6
Or brother lol
WitchyArmyWife00 0
Or her Teddy bear, yeah it's lame but all the good ones were taken.
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
Thay sucks OP. Going through divorce is hard enough without having to find out your ex already moved on.
TheDrifter 23
A woman will never suggest moving on without having someone else in mind. If she wasn't riding him before they seperated op can rest assured that she had taken the saddle out of the barn.
dominic1221 6
Drifter, why is every comment by you about women always so uh... misogynistic? Bitter? Painting them as evil *****? You wanna share some mommy issues with us or do you feel better when no one calls you out on it?
michaeljcaboose 7
Actually I think drifter was quoting Bill Engvall or Jeff Foxworthy or something
TheDrifter 23
It's a Foxworthy quote. On a side note, my bitterness comes not from my mother (a wonderful old lady) but from prolonged exposure to unadultered reality and a lack of Prozac.
GeeTwo 11
Yah, apparently they had hooked up over the Mardi Gras weekend.
TheDrifter 23
Sorry to hear that op. Hpefully you'll meet someone wonderful and faithful who can help you put all this uglyness in your past and your future on a positive path.
godofcyanide 8
Drifter's quoting at #49 isn't that far off. I've seen it happen with many of my female friends over the last 20 years. They stay around until they find someone else, but then they're gone. I think sometimes they do it to have a reason to not look back.
GeeTwo 11
Yah it really sucks the life out of me. Thank you.