Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
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Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML
Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML
Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML
Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML
Today, I needed to grab something from the garage. As soon as the door closed, I heard a little click sound. My one-year-old seems to have figured out the door lock. FML
Today, as I stepped out the door and heard it lock behind me, I realized I had forgotten both my keys and my baby inside. There's no other way in. FML
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Top comments
tpm45 25
Hey, at least she'd have been safe if it was an intruder.
ksktwin84 14
She had a metal rake inside?
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Comments (109)
tpm45 25
Hey, at least she'd have been safe if it was an intruder.
That_Ginger 18
I think an intruder would be expecting something like that though, where as OP obviously didn't.
buttcramp 21
I agree, #1. This girl sounds really awesome. 39, what you're saying is true but at least where I live intruders are way less likely to enter the house if someone is inside because they fear being shot.
jazzy_123 20
haha if I lived in Texas I'd be scared too. At least it's not like here in Cali. If an intruder went inside someone's house and got hurt, jumping in through the window and breaking something or whatever, he/she can sue the owner of the house. What's up with that? -,-
aireeahna 23
who mention texas 46?
Roskie 16
41's profile.
drumguy218 11
I seriously doubt an intruder would be expecting that...
LuciaTheReadhead 9
Well, now you know Op that your daughter is a little badass fighter.
ariiewilliams 17
If i was an intruder i wouldn't expect to get hit in the head with a metal rake by a 7 year old girl. But that's just me.
bomzo 22
you make funny comments.
ksktwin84 14
She had a metal rake inside?
sh3lbst3r 8
It sounds like she was bad ass as hell and snuck outside behind him. Daughter FTW!
Nevermind212 11
That'd be the best situation to take revenge from your dad lol. You should be proud of your kid Op
NeatNit 32
More importantly, SHE WAS INSIDE! If you locked yourself out, why didn't you try knocking?
TunaFireStarter 16
#94, to me it sounds like it was likely dark out and so he probably would have thought she was asleep. Or he very well could have, but since she is young, she probably didn't open the door (which is smart for a young child. Stranger danger and all that.)
NoMore_CoolNames 14
You're raising her well. Good job, very good job.
JoleneDaniel 12
I vote that you deserve it because you're raising an awesome daughter.
lexiieeex3 32
Honestly, I would be proud of your daughter for having the courage to defend herself. You're raising a true spitfire!
rhysfucker 24
Don't punish her, but I would work in her choice of weapon. I prefer shovels.
Kibaruto 33
I was half-expecting a frying pan of sorts.
_kyleG_ 34
Baseball bat- that way no one looks at her funny when she practices her swing
hulopro 16
Shovels are the best because you already have a shovel to bury them in when the job is done.
Dthsapprntc 23
Sharp pieces of steel is my choice, about 3 feet long with a handle on one end. Pointy end goes in the other guy.
the_shift 13
Ice stick... The evidence Go's away after being used
Rexor 9
Metal baseball bat and a 9mm. I should be fine.
j_woolzzz 1
Wow
Raidriar 14
Many rake Much hurt So intruder
BassTurdo 22
Just like home alone
MidnaLink 33
Just more boring.
fsomelife 26
Not more boring, just shorter. You would't be able to make a movie about this with an hour-and-a-half build-up and then the whole thing just ending with the dad coming home and bam, rake then stitches. Commercial though, maybe. "Send your regular-ass little girl to bad-ass little girl school-- BAM, RAKE THEN STICHES"
carterjanelle 9
Ha!
VengeanceChicken 12
Well, like you said, at least she'll know what to do if something like that ever happens...
Ilovemysphynx 19
I hope you're okay! Maybe don't leave your daughter home alone and take her with you next time? That's pretty young to be by herself.
ksks1234 33
He probably did not leave her home alone. He just said "I locked myself out", he could have checked the mailbox or got the paper.
Godsofdracos 15
Plus 7 being to young to be home alone? What's she going to do build a thermonuclear space ready warhead and take over the earth if she's not supervised 24/7?
meli1195 31
Ooor he could've been coming home from work and probably his wife/gf was sleeping but his daughter was still awake
nathansch 11
Why are people giving this a thumbs down she's 7 she doesn't need to be home by herself. Good job on her protecting her self but she still shouldn't of been home alone what if there were multiple armed intruders?
Godsofdracos 15
Then it wouldn't really matter if she was alone or not would it -.-
JazNim17 18
Because, #71, the fml never said the dad left the property. It's entirely possible he was just doing something outside. And besides, as long as they're not alone for long periods of time, it's okay for a 7 year old not to be supervised 100% of the time. Otherwise we end up with people like my roommate, 20 and incapable of taking care of herself.
Mynamewontfi 40
Good job on her for taking care of herself! But what if she secretly knew it was you..
opj77_fml 13
Why did not you just knock on the door since your daughter was inside of the house?
poncho55 40
Well, since he got smashed in the head with a rake and was thought to be an intruder, I assume it was dark. So maybe OP assumed his family members were sleeping and didn't want to wake them. I've gone through the back door for that very reason whenever the front door was locked.
ApacheC424 18
He also could have announced his presence instead of just entering. I know it was his own home but it wasn't an expected entry.
AxNxNxIxEx12 7
Or ringing the door bell. Being locked out is a pretty good reason to wake up your family
jensenisbatman 12
If your front door was locked and you knew your back door was unlocked what would you do