Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML
Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML
Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML
Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML
Today, I needed to grab something from the garage. As soon as the door closed, I heard a little click sound. My one-year-old seems to have figured out the door lock. FML
Today, as I stepped out the door and heard it lock behind me, I realized I had forgotten both my keys and my baby inside. There's no other way in. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tpm45 25
Hey, at least she'd have been safe if it was an intruder.
ksktwin84 14
She had a metal rake inside?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
Blondie_0509 6
How about just ringing the doorbell.... since your daughter was home? Even if she's not allowed to open the door by herself, you could have made it clear to her that it was her mommy standing before the door, right?
Assassinatory 11
You should proud. My 13 year old brother doesn't seem capable of half that much.
RamonTheGamer 7
Poor op, Are you okay? But now you know your 7-year-old will never be in danger :p.
CrikOgresmasher 19
Judging by your name, you raised her well
LiquidPeppermint 6
If your daughter was in the house, why didn't you ring the doorbell?
rybaby23 8
Glad to know someone is raising their kids to protect themselves. This world is becoming a crazy place!
thelittlemissy 29
You must be so proud!!!
sdroze1389 31
my first thought when I read this was it seems like an episode of Tom and Jerry.
kittie77 10
Your girl is awesome! Be proud! I would be :)
TXFernwoods 26
Your daughter is badass :D