Today, I needed to grab something from the garage. As soon as...

ScaredDad - 02/05/2019 12:00

Today, I needed to grab something from the garage. As soon as the door closed, I heard a little click sound. My one-year-old seems to have figured out the door lock. FML

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Call the Midwife-slash-Locksmith

mama bear - 16/10/2019 18:00

Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML

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This is terrible!

Baddad - 24/11/2019 20:00

Today, as I stepped out the door and heard it lock behind me, I realized I had forgotten both my keys and my baby inside. There's no other way in. FML

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Amber Rutledge - 27/01/2018 00:00

Today, my 2-year-old learned how to open the fridge lock. I came out of the bathroom to what she called a "scrambled egg breakfast". FML

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emergencyroom - 15/03/2014 12:21 - United States - Parkton

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

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wished i had a cat - 19/10/2018 17:30

Today, I discovered that my dog knows how to lock doors. This wouldn't have been a problem if anyone in my house every carried a key. FML

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The wrong sort of lock in

Anonymous - 10/08/2021 09:59 - South Africa

Today, I gave my 10-month-old the house keys to keep her busy. I locked the burglar gate and left the door open. She can walk, and she threw the keys outside the gate. FML

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mr_flarpin - 22/08/2012 00:37 - United States - Stoneham

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

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Double trouble

Tom Riddle - 19/12/2016 12:24 - Philippines

Today, I was about to go out and get some groceries, but the moment I slammed the door I realized my keys were still inside. My inner caveman instincts told me to immediately break down the door, so now I have to get a doorknob replacement instead of food. FML

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Cuzles - 23/03/2011 16:11 - United States

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

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brandon - 10/01/2011 17:04 - Canada

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to unlock my garage door. After shouting several profanities, my roommate walked up to me, turned the key the other way, and unlocked it. FML

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swervelol 28

Thursday 2 May 2019 18:44

How could a one year old reach the door lock?

carey33 15

Saturday 4 May 2019 16:17

My one year old pushed a laundry basket up to the door and locked my husband out

swervelol 28

Thursday 2 May 2019 18:44

How could a one year old reach the door lock?

carey33 15

Saturday 4 May 2019 16:17

My one year old pushed a laundry basket up to the door and locked my husband out

mekiswrite 21

Thursday 2 May 2019 20:06

Scared dad; smart kid.

StagGT 13

Thursday 2 May 2019 20:51

YDI, DHK

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

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Today, I finally finished a drawing that someone had asked and said they would pay me for. I worked on it for multiple hours and was very proud of it. When it came to discussing payment, I asked what his best offer was. A pack of cigarettes. FML

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Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

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Today, I decided to start working out. I made a bit of Internet research, and I found out about my body type. The first and only example that popped up is Natalie Portman. Oh, by the way, I’m a 16 year-old dude. FML

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Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML

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Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML

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