By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 708
You deserved it 5 756

Same thing different taste

Top comments

At least your daughter isn't attempting to suck all the oxygen out of the room so you don't have any left XD But in all seriousness OP you should lock the doors before you sleep, sweet dreams!

onealmxwilson 18

How scary this is depends on the age of said daughter.

Comments

At least your daughter isn't attempting to suck all the oxygen out of the room so you don't have any left XD But in all seriousness OP you should lock the doors before you sleep, sweet dreams!

colton_colton 49

I would lock and barricade the doors...just to be safe

Considering the kids FMLs on here, I'm not sure why anyone reproduces. Seems all children are evil.

No, it's just that no good kids have any reason to end up in thus site.

I don't suppose your daughter's name is Chucky?

Chucky is a boy's name. So, no, your guess is incorrect.

onealmxwilson 18

How scary this is depends on the age of said daughter.

colton_colton 49

Let's hope she's younger so she doesn't ever actually go through and try something..

Unless she is younger then 4, I'd be concerned. I don't know how many times I've read of kids killing their parents. That being said, strap her down at night (and lock your door, just in case). If she whines, tell her not to say that shit.

Really? "Shit"?! What the hell are you thinking? Yeah, we'd all teach our children bad language.

Octwo 16

#68, I like your profile pic haha. I saw that episode of Cyanide and Happiness, butt cancer lol And to OP, you should put your daughter to sleep in her room, lock her door (if it locks) and then hurry to your room to lock yourself in. If something goes wrong call for help xD Good luck with that OP

Lock EVERY door so she doesn't try to cut someone else's head off after she can't get to OP!

wellthen7154 12

Screw locking doors, find out what sharp objects she has access to! It sounds like she's not very old, and if you have small children with knives you're gonna have a bad time.

RpiesSPIES 27

But what if she catches him as he uses his ladder to climb inside each room in order to lock them?

Hmmm maybe keep her away from sharp objects until you can convince her it's wrong

Convinse her...LOL yeah my mom convimced me when when I eas you by "talking" calmy while cursing. Snd stroking my body with a leather belt, shoe, fence, wire practically she stroked me with everything in our house by 18

Tell her her ass is on the road if by any chance you survive!

Because that won't motivate her to like, make sure the job gets done...

That's one way to look at it. Come to think of it.. She must already have a means to get by without her mom if she's planning on terminating her.. Well.. Guess I didn't think that one through!

I don't know why this is getting thumbed down. She needs to know that it isn't ok to say that to anyone. My mom slapped the **** out of me for less.

Because punishing a likely young child for saying nonsensical things, like young children tend to do, is totally the right thing to do.

Redoxx_fml 22

She obviously didn't really mean it. Kids just say the darnest things...

The point of disciplining a child isn't to judge them as evil, it's to let them know what's wrong and right. So yes, you should ESPECIALLY do it if they don't know what they're doing, to teach them that it's wrong.

This is why humans need a reset button. "Ah shit, I ****** this one up too, i'll just reset her and try again."

They're called belly buttons. Unfortunately, half the time they're broken.

I refuse to have a child until I can get a tamagotchi through a life cycle without killing it or resetting it. Fifteen years and still no dice.

#20 right on! lobotomy is the solution to this! XD

at least she isnt wacing her hand in your face trying to steal your oxygen.

I know right, the idea of 'wacing' is terrifying!

I recommend sleeping with you door locked for the rest of the night.

Fr0gs 15

Well we know she didnt learn it from you, right?