Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone sent a dick pic to my 16-year-old, lesbian daughter. She handed me her phone and asked, "What is that, a naked mole rat?" FML
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML
Today, my mother sent a picture that was meant for her husband. I cannot unsee what I have seen. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
cocacola999 27
Technically, you can't even be sure it's her father's penis...
oj101 33
The iGeneration.
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Comments (94)
oj101 33
The iGeneration.
fanaticdragon 10
Talkin' bout iGeeeneration!
tigerisabelle 31
iGenERECTION.
phatdaddy62 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Just tell her that it is a dachshund that mommy and daddy got her for her birthday!
obnum 19
What kind of demented dachshund looks like an erect penis?
mmmPoptarts 6
That would just bring the child's hopes up, even if Christmas is a long time away
WingsFan80 4
It says birthday not Christmas anyway
dabeast15 7
I sir.... Are a genius < sarcasm
chlorinegreen 27
She would probably never get that job again because 1. They're probably going to assume she was snooping and 2. She said its a dog tricking the little girl and getting her hopes up. What kinda person does that?
cocacola999 27
Technically, you can't even be sure it's her father's penis...
jjmiller1001 17
maybe she has seen it before
SerpentBoy 8
All babysitters have seen the penis of the father who's kids she's watching. Don't you watch ****! That's day one shit...
supportcommand 17
It's true, babysitter gang bang was a true classic.
SerpentBoy 8
Haha, I can't believe that's getting thumbed down! I thought I struck gold with that one! Maybe we need more male voters..
klutz44 28
Maybe it had name tag on.
happle 21
15- Because all guys think every sex joke is hilarious.
SerpentBoy 8
@55, I was going more along the lines of male voters relating to the comment I made considering the circumstances of the FML. I think either sex could find the joke humorous!
LuckBeNimble 19
well maybe it's just me, but my texts and messages are prefaced by a contact name. and I feel people tend to be aware of their employer's name. though I guess somebody could just slap any name on there to cover up shady business.
Atchoo 8
You don't know that.
unlifeoftheparty 10
for all we know, more than just his junk was in the photo.
muzikmaestro 15
this is quite true...
jellyghost 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Just be thankful you dont have to explain what a taco hotdog is.
lsfactor 4
What's a taco hotdog? Please explain to the class
Archay 13
It's pretty obvious IMO But on another note I'm surprised She didn't know wat it was considering their generation
X_Codes 11
Small child. Not a teenager. Also, chances are she's going to find out in the very near future.
Karalela44 15
I, too, am curious as to what a 'taco hotdog' is...
Whytetrash 21
You deserve a raise
snufflelump 12
The raise is right under her nose..
ElementaryEdGuy 18
42 = Why did that take me like five minutes to get that?
420Zombie 17
48- because you're slow
djxerxes9000 18
Thanks what she said.
GuessWhatKids 13
67 - You're welcome.
Kiyaralovestolol 14
When she gets older and remembers this, she'll be scarred forever.
DahfuqMyLife 2
Matters on the age, I barely remember anything before 5 years old.
Fsvb 32
Most people start remembering stuff when you are around 3 or 4 years old. But you could remember things from before that age, like a trauma or just something that really had your attention, good or bad.
oj101 33
Was it comparable to a kielbasa, or a cocktail stick sausage?
iamabamf 17
It was comparable to a hot dog, clearly.
finnrambo 13
There's those tiny hotdogs, normal ones, and smokies...
Keattles 14
That couple is into some big stuff.
MrClean17 15
Maybe it's just me, but I dont consider a couple sexting a big deal.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
On the "family" iPad, though... I don't think that's right. They should be more careful.
BellaBelle_fml 23
I think that sending your spouse racy texts and/or racy photos periodically can be a good and healthy thing to do. It helps to keep the passion alive and it reinforces their sexual attraction to one another. Although I do agree with 26 in that they really shouldn't be using their family iPad to send those kind of messages. But sometimes, if they both have an iPhone as well as the iPad, their iPhones and iPad are linked via wifi and so all of their texts, emails, and photos appear on both. But I think that there is a way to prevent that from happening, I'm just not sure as to how you can go about doing that.
chlorinegreen 27
My boyfriend sent me a pic of his penis and told me to come over and give him a blow by blow of my day so I sent a picture of my left hand and told him to put a ring on it
TheFirstSamurai 18
Are you sure it's a "family iPad" if those type of pictures are being sent? If it is then ... they're pretty liberal?
klutz44 28
That goes beyond liberal.
SaturnV 25
One of the parents could have sent (or been sent) the picture message from another Apple device. iMessages and other downloads (apps, music, etc) can appear automatically on all devices signed in to the same Apple account if the correct settings are enabled. Whoever sent the message was likely not aware of this, or didn't remember the "family iPad" at the time.
mega20913 8
just casually advert her attention elsewhere..if she's young enough to think it's a hotdog then it shouldn't be too hard to get her focused on something else...
Shmatterhorn 38
Time to start up Angry Birds!