FML for mobile
Free

Open in app
FMyLife
Anonymous United States

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

307

Collection

Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

hannahtaskey 9

Kids learn from their parents you know...

pwincessa23 1

you should have told him to swallow it! if he chocked than you can tell him "and that is why you don't swallow grapes"

Add a comment · Reply to

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Sign in Create my account

Comments (307)

ed11 1

i say disown her/him

eeppiicc 8

you sir have on of the worst comments I've read In awhile.

NastyNinja31 0

the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

ed11 1

someone shouldv raised him/her better*** better?

genesisnirvana 11

I say tell him/her to swallow to find out

NastyNinja31 0

25...no

eeppiicc 8

25, umm no

TheChampagneBoi 5

no

cdninf 4

No, not better

ed11 1

hahahaha aight I give up

R34luver 5

52 oh look your catching on :)

mboehm88 3

What's up with all these similar FML's ending with variants of "I raised this dumbass"? You're their parent! Be a little less harsh behind their back..

WHITE3TIGER 0

**** I ment to thum down

ChrisLTC 3

reminds me of the woman that went to the police and said she had been graped the cop asked her did she mean raped she said no there was a bunch of them XD

YacL 15

I was going to comment on how there have been a lot more of these "I raised this twit" or dumbass or whatever you want to say FMLs, but 86 beat me to it.

FuniiBunii 0

aha maybe OP doesn't get jokes -.-

bengalsbaby13 0

138- Then why comment at all? Haha

maz255 10

1- im going eat your toes while your sleeping....

cptcook 0

um, we don't blame the kid, we blame you for being such a shitty parent he/she has to even ask that question. you should be ashamed to call yourself a parent to b truthful, this don't belong on fml it belongs on worlds dumbest bc you are obviously one of the worlds worst parents.... js

glenzhao2 16

You raised that dumbass very badly

SteveTheJanitor 6

This lady calls her own child a dumbass. That's just low.

OceanProtection 0

Hey I have a really good comment that I just thought of all on my own that nobody else has said! You're a shitty parent!! lolololololol so funny!! -_-

maz255 10

170- im going to eat your toes too..

canucks92 0

maybe it was sarcasm

wmsdubstep 6

You're the one who needs raising - you can't spell correcttly!

enonymous 9

I swallow grapefruits whole all the time. I can suck a bowling ball through a garden hose too

duckman9 55

Congratulations! You have just won 5 Internets!

UnicornHunter 12

I'm tired of people calling their kids dumb.

TheRealHouse 7

I'm tired of dumb kids calling thier people

seanders 10

His failure as a child reflects your failure as a parent.

ed11 1

gee thanks haha

joshuastepen 0

This is what you call an as* hole.

joshuastepen 0

Lmao

EvilCupcake8361 9

it's probably cause she's used to swallowing

blackjackandcoke 9

Then kids shouldn't be so damn dumb.

ozone9914 2

Hahahaha thats what you get for being mean

hannahtaskey 9

Kids learn from their parents you know...

fatballonguy 0

That's not always the case

kaylaaa1312 3

not always.

howslife123 0

but a kid SHOULD know how to eat food .. by their tenth birthday .. and that's the parents job to teach !!

katieklein 0

Maybe he has never ate grapes so therefore he dosen't know!

hatesfate 6

even if he didn't eat grapes even a 4 year old is taught to chew solids and swallow liquids...

TheMasticater 9

learn by example...

howslife123 0

^ so you want OP to make her child stare at her while she demonstrates the art of chewing

katieklein 0

sadly to say. im from the same state as the OP

mahomie97 7

wellll said:D

zekecastro 0

the question still remains..

juicedboi 7

Try feeding him/her an olive with the pip still inside. That should be an entertaining sight.

YDI__Bitch 0

you raised him! don't complain to us.

LLBritt 0

It's called FML. don't come on here if you don't want to read complaints.

guitarbeast 22

it sounds like something Jake from two and a half men would ask

JacksonCampbell 9

I'm actually quite a smart kid, but I legitimately don't know if oranges are to be swallowed or bitten. Why? No one taught me and no one fed me one. So yeah, kids learn from their parents.

letsgoflyakite 2

lol am I the only one that found this FML to be sexual at a quick glance?

ExtremeEncounter 32

You're stupid #192

xPhoBiuHzZz 1

Either ones acceptable...I mean were they red or green?

jayalexander 7

they were orange.

jvillan87 5

Does it really matter what color they were? I'm pretty sure you have to chew ALL grapes.

zaveeshaveesh3 7

I can fit 42 grapes in my mouth!

hisgirlherboy 5

28- well it kinda matters, red are usually smaller

superangryandy 2

43 owned.

flockz 20

mine are usually bigger.

getviolated 5

I bet they were a cross between a grape and an alka-seltzer and therefore it would dissolve and wouldn't need to be chewed. you're all living inside the box, like c'mon man.

MrBoredGuy 1

Here in NY the locally grown grapes you don't chew them, you don't eat the skin off of them you just squeeze the skin and the inside pops in your mouth and then you swallow, new chewing involved, store bought however are a completely different story obviously

nadhirah 4

well, there's this "breed" of grapes called red globes. they're pretty huge to be swallowed. I prefer to chew my grapes :) feel the bursting juiciness in my mouth :)

Kittcatz38 0

ydi for not giving your kid fruit before he was 17

miraggg 1

actually, people who smuggle coke in airplanes practice by swallowing grapes.

pwincessa23 1

you should have told him to swallow it! if he chocked than you can tell him "and that is why you don't swallow grapes"

jvillan87 5

Is it just me, or does Chucky look like he's coppin a feel on ya?

pwincessa23 1

33, Omg! I just noticed that! it does kinda look like it. lmao! 40- choked* sorry!

maz255 10

HEY GIRLS!!! let me grab your **** and ill give you FIFTY FREE TOKENS!!! did he use that line on you?

KiddNYC1O 22

Lmao. ^

omgcookeys 15

well after you chew it, shouldn't you swallow? And how come they've never eaten grapes before the age of 17?

omgcookeys 15

you chew AND swallow? most people dont chew and keep it in their mouth?

wmsdubstep 6

I'm 16 and I've never ate a grape :)

FunnyGuy5051 7

I love to swallow foods like grapes and string cheese whole

DoubleEdgedBlade 4

211 - That's not the only thing you like to swallow! Oh snap! Yeah, horrible burn.

bthomas0319 2

what an idiot, but you ******* deserved it for raising him!(:

NaomiMadison 4

I don't think she could've avoided raising him. If you meant to say she deserved it for raising him that way then all I have to say is it's not her fault that her child doesn't know how to consume grapes. That doesn't mean she raised him badly. Lol

cptcook 0

yeah it does dumbass! that's like sayin she never taught him to not color outta the lines, u **** tard

Melissa92_fml 13

#159- Is there a need to be so vulgar to another person? No. Regardless of whether you're saying it on the Internet or to someones face, it's hurtful and completely unnecessary.

mrbuddy 0

yes it does mean the kid was raised badly. I taught my kid how to eat.

blackbird007 0

don't let him baby sit

mk58 31

You swallow them, why couldn't you just tell your kid?

lambo3 0

you sure they were talking about grapes?

howslife123 0

maybe blueberries ?

Saltime 0

Apples, perhaps. you should swallow apples whole.

hisgirlherboy 5

what about balls? people call them all sorts of things: nuts, snow-globes... grapes?

BruisedGiraffe 15

it ruins the fun if you just say it

howslife123 0

you don't chew OR swallow balls .. that seems to repell guys when I try it xD

PrickHead 0

i think he/she meant rapes

itaimumwiro 8

never chew balls they test like hair

FreakingFYou 13

moderated this 20 seconds ago.

hailphire130 0

I don't know. I don't enjoy the fact that she called her kid a dumbass.

SuckItTrolls 7

it's only true

MurphyS94 4

I agree, you shouldn't call your kid a dumbass. That's a bit harsh for just asking a silly question.

extradorkyloser 4

Me neither. Kinda makes me feel uncomfortable. :-/. I mean, if you can be so rude as to insensitively insult your child, you were probably a neglectful parent, hence the lack of simple knowledge.

mahomie97 7

well she can say whaterr she wants(:

Not_so_innocent1 5

I agree, you don't call your child a dumb ass, even I they aren't the smartest around.

dolphingirl00 0

but you still shouldn't

IKickPuppiesHard 16

My god, So many cry babies running around -_-

brittaaany_93 38

My mum calls me a dumbass when I say or do something stupid. It's not a big deal if you don't take it seriously. Lighten up people :)