Kids and Alcohol: Start 'em young

Start 'em young

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 23:00

Today, my 3 year-old toddler wanted to try my wine. I kept telling her it’s adult juice and she wouldn’t like it. When she kept bugging me about it I gave in, and gave her a tiny sip. She liked it, and continued to bug me about it even more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 1 555

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Family values

By Anonymous - 06/10/2019 12:00 - Croatia

Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 712

You deserved it 630

Irony failure

By alcoholic - 31/10/2009 14:30 - Estonia

Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 824

You deserved it 51 708

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 31/08/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, my son tried my year great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 116

By Anonymous - 27/04/2018 20:30

Today, my child's kindergarten teacher told me that my child said, "My mom drinks wine and lays down." I don't drink alcohol, although at times I drink juice in a wine glass. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm an alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 811

You deserved it 644

Bad babysitter

By cantprovenothing - 18/04/2014 21:31 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 625

You deserved it 48 840

By Good Parenting? - 26/06/2015 16:38 - United States - Columbia

Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 595

You deserved it 2 860

Specially for dad

By anonymous - 01/02/2020 20:00 - United States - Shawnee

Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 149

You deserved it 390

By ManchotDesAndes - 26/02/2015 07:35 - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 11 166

By kashish0711 - 02/08/2009 16:14 - India

Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 699

You deserved it 3 184

By gross - 06/08/2015 17:28 - United States

Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 823

You deserved it 3 169

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 3 October 2021 23:10

Looks like she'll be doing 12 steps before she can count to twelve.

Hangryko 31

Monday 4 October 2021 17:35

Say no to your child and stick with it. You're the parent. YDI.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 3 October 2021 23:10

Looks like she'll be doing 12 steps before she can count to twelve.

Hunter Phillips 7

Wednesday 13 October 2021 13:48

lol you always have the best comments 🤣

JackWood 20

Sunday 3 October 2021 23:23

You're supposed to substitute grape juice for crying out loud.

IHaveThePower 16

Monday 4 October 2021 0:05

They make mock sangria juice blends. Try getting her some. That, or Ribena--it's blackcurrent juice, you should be able to order it on Amazon. Then she has her own special juice, and you can enjoy your wine in peace.

It_gets_better 19

Monday 4 October 2021 8:25

When I was a kid my parents said I wouldn't like coffee, so I was determined to like it and lied about liking it for so long that now my main personality trait as an adult is a well-known caffeine addiction... because I lied myself into being forced to acquire a taste for it. Sorry it didn't work out like you'd hoped, OP!