Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML
Today, I walked in on my son flopping around on the floor with a blanket wrapped around his legs. Apparently at age 22, he'd rather pretend to be a mermaid than go out and get a damn job. FML
Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML
Today, I saw my unemployed 29-year-old son, who still lives with us, reading the work section of the newspaper and prayed that he was looking for a job. He was looking for the comics. FML
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Today, my son's plan is to become an entrepreneur, even though this requires having a brilliant idea worth money. This is the same guy who got fired from Subway for deliberately dropping bread on the floor so he could steal it from the bin later. I'm gonna kick him in the asscrack before the month is over, I know it. FML
Today, my son hates people so much he's working three jobs to be able move out and pay for his own place. He got the keys today and when I asked if he was having a housewarming party, he told me he’s not giving his address out to anyone, and no one is invited, ever, not even me. FML
Today, my son apparently has no interest in having a life. He goes from his tiny one-bed flat to work, then back home again to play with his computer. It’s a good job, so he can afford a life, but he has no friends, never dates or goes anywhere, he even gets his shopping delivered. What can I do? FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Someone's read about trolls a bit too much
kikibrowm 7
Ambitious much? Don't worry, 12-years olds think they're simply amazing, and he probably thought it was hilarious.
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Comments (262)
WCARlover 35
Someone's read about trolls a bit too much
hannah1203 2
Your son definitely has his priorities in line!
asoptavlo14 6
Well at least he has things planned out, and he hasn't been paying attention to trolls..? Random haha
WCARlover 35
trolls live under bridges...
alex6946 10
hehe your picture is funny :)
WCARlover 35
and the kid said he wanted to live under a bridge
WCARlover 35
lol thanks 12
lovinit5683 0
Dang it, I didn't read the other comments so my comment is about a troll also.
flockz 20
op should stop letting her son watch the news and maybe he would stop thinking about unemployment.
davizv 0
it's not trolls. he prob wrote that to b funny
enonymous 9
He's reaching... all the good bridges are taken. IF He's lucky he will get a refrigerator box in the wettest part of town and will have at least 3 mortgages on that box. Us senior retirement bums with the "Vietnam Vet" and "Why lie? it's for beer" signs have first dibs on those under bridge properties.
iluvnba 0
it was just a joke. when i was 12 i wanted to be known as the ejaculator. btw im kidding but dont worry kids say stupid stuff
kruzito 0
He is 12! He wrote it in order to be funny.
abbi96x 0
And you're going to let him live his life unemployed?! As his Mum you should be supporting him & helping him with his future!
daniismiles11 0
#4 i thought wrong . im sorry
PDeffinP 0
maybe he will grow up and be a comedian
YacL 15
93- Or a bum under a bridge, like in his plans.
shutupYDI 4
great FML reference. ur my new favorite fmler
blackberry90210 0
TIP: Stop breast feeding him
fthislyfe 22
he's sooooooooo cute
mandipandi30 0
117-who's cute?
Jennifra 0
The son was likely joking, and being a brat.
Veraymix 6
At least he's being realistic, there's always the possibility.
hellbilly205 17
hahaha
tjv3 10
please use this as a warning and a wake up call for an intervention in his life. Get the boy into a character building organization like the boy scouts
BrosefStalin 0
Obviously the kid was kidding. You should be glad that your kid is funny.
rawrlily 0
You called?
MissBunnyWillEat 11
So, I'm scheduling an appointment for your son with Mr. Boners. He too had a goal to be a homeless person. That goal has been achieved.
chrispyy21 0
let da boy creep on dem wemen n buss off on dem in da alle's...
XxToriwolfxX 0
Schooooool. Graaaammar.. leeeeaarn..
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
149- the boy scouts do not build character, it's really retarded, just buy the damn kid some beer and a 2 story refrigerator box!
quesidias 0
more like fhl, you as a mother is a terrible ******* influence on your poor son. what do u do to him? force him to admire hobos (HOmeless BOyboys), get slutty with his 12 year old classmates, and do all the drugs out there?!? it's like 'son, I want you to experience the world so here's a handful of pills to go blow off that steam from the hardships of elementary school. Oh, and don't forget to share! sharrrrring is good!!'
Sippin_koolaid 0
So just because a kid says something stupid as a joke, he has a bad parent? if I stood up in the middle of a 4 way intersection and yelled **** THE POLICE as a joke (not gonna happen) that automatically means my parents condone violence and drug use?
zendaddy0 0
at least he's not like the other 500 kids who are apparently going to be president at the same time
primadonna9396 16
This. Be proud of your pint-sized smartass.
YDI__Bitch 0
relax OP, he just wants to fall in your footsteps
Ha1r1nY0S0up 15
lmao that sucks
eminemchick 19
Well he's being realistic. but he should have more hopes cuz hes young. xD remember that one kid in the class that was like "Im gonna be president!"?
ImaWiseGuy 5
haha, not everybody can be successful...
MrSassypants 34
81 yeah but hoping that you're no isn't helpful. -Mr.SassyPants
YacL 15
91- Wait... what?
MrSassypants 34
98 I meant not. Sorry 8)
YacL 15
Oh, it's amazing how one letter can make a world of difference.
IndianRapper 0
when i first read your username i thought it said "mrs. assy-pants"
MrSassypants 34
150 I know... I know. I try to out my signature at the end for people would know but... I don't know where I'm going with this, whatever.
signuploginpassw 0
thats sad :( i hope someone motivates him into trying hard and being successful!
WiderWille 11
Maybe he becomes a successful unemployed?
mrahhhhh 21
Yeah, true. There is only one person that I know of who could be a bad student, live with his parents until they kick him out, be unemployed while living underneath a bridge, and still turn out to eventually be a gigantic success no one could have imagined. And a highly doubt that the dumbass in OP's FML will be the next Kurt Cobain.
mrahhhhh 21
*I highly doubt
Neorecon19 18
or maybe he'll become that hobo that chases you for 6 city blocks with a knife!
msl1333 4
oh come on he was just trying to be funny. when I was his age we were supposed to do one of those "dress up like what you want to be" days; I dressed up like a bum and went around all day begging for change in school (from which I made around $10). now I'm going to medical school. he's going through a wise-ass phase. it happens to all the good kids.
evelinaaa 0
D:
KatrinaKitten 16
lol you have a mustache..that sure is attractive.
LaughinStock 16
lol dont hate cause u dont have one
jess6blondie9 3
KatrinaKitten; how about you stop being a bitch? She didn't ask for your stuck up opinion on her, so don't give it.
iluvnba 0
well actually shes right, she has a moustache
enonymous 9
There is only one way to solve this... Jello Wrestling match to the death. There can only be one...
smurfsarwales 9
no sh*t iluvnba, now continue with the cat fight :)
MrSassypants 34
40 actually I you notice not all of people on here ask for an opinion for other people to give it. Also it's not an opinion, sadly, it's a fact.
sourgirl101 29
70, is that a kinkier version on "Highlander"? Jello instead of swords?
jess6blondie9 3
I don't care whether she has a mustache or not, people don't need to be bitches for no reason.
AnimalLover1031 8
Agreed with Jess , people these days have nothing better to do.
shutupYDI 4
I agree with Jess too. Katrina needs to get a life she might "not like people" but there's no need to be a bitch but I'm sure it makes Katrina feel confident so whatever helps her sleep at night. people these days.
MrSassypants 34
102 well they are basically just doing the same as you which is commenting. I'm not fighting for trolls but just saying if you say they have nothing better to do then you commenting is suing the same thing. They're just being mean while commenting. Ironically, I am actually just commenting because I have nothing better to do. 8)
AnimalLover1031 8
You have a point ^_^. All Im saying is people here can be so rude and speak or type things with out realizing .
MrSassypants 34
113 yuppies! Also I randomly said suing because of auto-correct but just ignore that. 8)
AnimalLover1031 8
Haha okay :) !
MrSassypants 34
116 I don't know how to reply but I don't want to be rude and leave you with no message even though I probably eventually am. I didn't want to put a smiley face and have a smiley face contest. 8) Also if OP somehow reads this, hopefully you help you kid improve. Meow! (=^_^=)
Aryan_Sheen 0
don't worry, I'd still shtupp ya'
shutupYDI 4
um did her profile pic get moderated? :/
whybother8 0
:)
sheenamaedc09 0
8==D
AceHeartThinksTh 0
:C
rockindyl22 0
(-_-)
LilyLovesYouLots 0
8====D~~~~~
Rhysviri 10
Don't underestimate twelve year olds. They're all over the internet now, y'know.
RadeonDerp 24
ಠ_ಠ
kikibrowm 7
Ambitious much? Don't worry, 12-years olds think they're simply amazing, and he probably thought it was hilarious.
hiyourcute 0
Yeah OP don't sweat it - he probably thinks he's even funnier because you're freaking out about it.
WiderWille 11
I'm 20 and still think that it is hilarious...
thisusernamewast 0
the apple doesn't fall far from the tree :p
Grammar_Nazi101 0
What apple? And what tree?! So confusing...
WiderWille 11
Newtons apple of course, but 147 doesn't seem to understand the gravity of the situation
Zakirsd_fml 5
I think he means the apple ipad
alex6946 10
well at least he has his life planned out..even though it doesnt include a job..
Laughing_Cow 0
I'm 12 and I want to be an architect
instnt1nfction 17
isn't that fascinating
Laughing_Cow 0
Hmmmm people who waste time trying to put down random strangers must really not have a life at all
instnt1nfction 17
cool story, bro tell me another
bubblekitty 1
bums are friendly (most of them)
lmaoatall 6
unless they're on your front porch "relentlessly" takeing a crap.
smurfsarwales 9
ahahaha now stop copying southpark.
MrSassypants 34
77 actually he is referencing another FML. 71 or chasing him down the street with a knife. I also I just notice I usually reference other FML's that deal with knifes. :/ DUN DUN DUUUUNNN!
tigerkyle92 0
Let's just hope he isn't a druggie as well.
horrsegal 0
children are a map of their parents
lovinit5683 0
Live under a bridge? Is he trying to be a troll to stop the goats from passing? Haha, and what have you been letting him watch and do?
hiyourcute 0
This is why children shouldn't be allowed to watch Dora:)