Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML
Today, I walked in on my son flopping around on the floor with a blanket wrapped around his legs. Apparently at age 22, he'd rather pretend to be a mermaid than go out and get a damn job. FML
Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML
Today, I saw my unemployed 29-year-old son, who still lives with us, reading the work section of the newspaper and prayed that he was looking for a job. He was looking for the comics. FML
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Today, my son's plan is to become an entrepreneur, even though this requires having a brilliant idea worth money. This is the same guy who got fired from Subway for deliberately dropping bread on the floor so he could steal it from the bin later. I'm gonna kick him in the asscrack before the month is over, I know it. FML
Today, my son hates people so much he's working three jobs to be able move out and pay for his own place. He got the keys today and when I asked if he was having a housewarming party, he told me he’s not giving his address out to anyone, and no one is invited, ever, not even me. FML
Today, my son apparently has no interest in having a life. He goes from his tiny one-bed flat to work, then back home again to play with his computer. It’s a good job, so he can afford a life, but he has no friends, never dates or goes anywhere, he even gets his shopping delivered. What can I do? FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Someone's read about trolls a bit too much
kikibrowm 7
Ambitious much? Don't worry, 12-years olds think they're simply amazing, and he probably thought it was hilarious.
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Comments (262)
RandomPotato 0
So? What's wrong with that? My cousin wants to be a successful hobo.
ogplusog 4
That kid's going places : ) The most successful month of my life was the one i lived in my car in... i was more social and more responsible.
lindseyluvszac 4
In this economy, that's all you can really hope for. So actually, he's kinda an over-achiever [sarcasm]
angryoriental 0
your parenting is top notch!
stevenmx86 8
You raised him... Ydi..
sillyjb 9
sounds like another contributing member of society for us to support yes!
smartalek 2
awww)):
perdix 31
Why would I want to kick my kid out? I love her! I'm already used to supporting her, so it won't be like a burden I'm not used to. I became a dad on purpose, and I enjoy my daughter's company. Why would I want her to live in a shithole or take a job she hates just to earn enough money to live in some place nice? I'd be happy if she could do what she loves, even if she doesn't earn much and stays with me and her mom. I hope she reads this. Fathers' Day is on Sunday and I'd like a nice gift ;) ;)
mylifepwnz 0
he was probably joking...
Dcm210 19
summer school?
bubo_fml 11
Easy cure...Take him on a field trip to the county jail. Have him ask the inmates what they do to vagrants that become their cellmates...I bet he'll write a different story...