Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML
Today, I walked in on my son flopping around on the floor with a blanket wrapped around his legs. Apparently at age 22, he'd rather pretend to be a mermaid than go out and get a damn job. FML
Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML
Today, I saw my unemployed 29-year-old son, who still lives with us, reading the work section of the newspaper and prayed that he was looking for a job. He was looking for the comics. FML
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Today, my son's plan is to become an entrepreneur, even though this requires having a brilliant idea worth money. This is the same guy who got fired from Subway for deliberately dropping bread on the floor so he could steal it from the bin later. I'm gonna kick him in the asscrack before the month is over, I know it. FML
Today, my son hates people so much he's working three jobs to be able move out and pay for his own place. He got the keys today and when I asked if he was having a housewarming party, he told me he’s not giving his address out to anyone, and no one is invited, ever, not even me. FML
Today, my son apparently has no interest in having a life. He goes from his tiny one-bed flat to work, then back home again to play with his computer. It’s a good job, so he can afford a life, but he has no friends, never dates or goes anywhere, he even gets his shopping delivered. What can I do? FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Someone's read about trolls a bit too much
kikibrowm 7
Ambitious much? Don't worry, 12-years olds think they're simply amazing, and he probably thought it was hilarious.
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Comments (262)
lizabeth131 0
well, like mother like son.
EnterChoose 1
Kids say the darnest things.
MCRandBVBlover88 0
smart son you got there.
phreshboi 1
how can a bum be employed? I'm pretty sure they're always unemployed
dcdelice 1
I couldnt help but laugh, but I'm sure that he was just being funny
starsfan_9 7
haha this made me laugh, but was he actually writing that for real or was it as a joke. I remember writing stories just to make my friends laugh in grade 7
DeviliciousAngel 3
I think most kids nowadays are thinking like that. I don't blame him.
asia3pea90 13
Wow. most likely he was jokingggggg. he's 12....
sleepyN 0
in the future most people will be unemployed, ur son is just ahead of the pack, can you say: winning!
Trent_21 6
I blame you. as the patents of this child you have already raised a bum. congratulations
bingababe 16
Congratulations to your parents for raising a son who can't use capital letters or even spell check what they post. Great job there!
TKpetit 0
Haha! What she said!
WordSmyth 2
Patenting a child, that's brillant!