Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to spice things up and do 69. My mom walked in on us right as we came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML
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Top comments
Miss_Chevious 37
did you cry "oh God" as you climaxed?
zykrithium 22
Never got the chance to take the climax to heaven.
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Comments (115)
zykrithium 22
Never got the chance to take the climax to heaven.
mds9986 24
The heaven-high club.
kangx1 28
My first reaction would be to say "Holy Shit" in fear
TheDog6 24
Well the Lord does work in mysterious ways...
thawny_fml 21
The Lord giveth and The Lord taketh away.
amandathemermaid 19
Can you say "coincidence"?
Stxsyh 30
Coincidence.
mds9986 24
Yes
ptoka 20
Co... Co-in... Co-incid... **** it
amandathemermaid 19
I thumbs downed my own comment cuz I totally deserve it LOL
rohan111993 13
I don't know what to make of this comment...
marcranger 29
He's God. Couldn't He have timed it so it happened before the wild sex took place at all?
SalsaVerdeDonut 22
Pretty sure that's the point. There would be no lesson learned if they were caught before anything happened. But the real lesson should be not to have sex in the back of a minivan unless it has tinted windows and it's dark outside.
theycallmerash 13
God gave us free will to make our own choices. He likes it when we follow Him but we have to choose that path.
Miss_Chevious 37
did you cry "oh God" as you climaxed?
logicnazi 18
Careful what you wish for
afallingstar 22
Was totally going to comment that myself.
barlos88 19
They don't call it the g spot for nothing
xwendifferx 16
Holy shit. That must have been super embarrassing.
teentee401 37
HOLY shit indeed.
Josh742 9
Thanks captain
ArturoJames 13
Yeah, Captain. Captain Obvious!
mustangbravo 27
Wow, that sucks. Horrible timing for that priest to show up.
Areyoukiddingmoi 15
What was the priest doing peeping into people's cars anyway? Especially ones that are emitting sexual sounds. You may have a closeted pervert as a preacher
pl0xs3rver 45
There might not have been any sounds, just the car shaking and the priest went to see what was wrong.
MandieL 27
Maybe he thought it was possessed
rlak111 19
Maybe he was just trying to stop public car sex like most adults would?
praesidiem 16
Maybe he was Catholic
False_Stupidity 42
Don't come a knockin' if the vans a rockin'
khorstmye 15
Why would you stop car sex from happening?
sunnyray812 42
Because it's illegal.
pixierara 28
Next stop: pregnancy
Invalid1 9
You are stupid.
AutisticAbyss 10
Psalms 27-1
UH60 26
Of priests interrupting sexytime.
Not_Creative 12
So Psalms 26?
grogers311 20
Haha I see what you did there, 77
not_your_taco 15
I think a better question is what did the guy say?