Love: Today, after hours of waiting in line, I finally met my favorite... - FML

By simply_meeeee - 20/07/2015 15:10 - United States - Glen Carbon

Today, after hours of waiting in line, I finally met my favorite band. After posing for a picture, I looked at my phone to find that instead of taking a picture with me and the band, my friend took selfies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 739

You deserved it 2 973

simply_meeeee tells us more.

simply_meeeee 26

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Tuesday 21 July 2015 2:06

I'm surprised mine got published! And yeah, I was furious with her. Consider her unfriended!

Our house, in the middle of our street

Yada yada yada

Weirdo geek freaks out

March for sanity

By Anonymous - 20/09/2021 23:00

Today, it took all 3 of my kids threatening to use their saved money to move out and into a flat together to make me realise just how much of an asshole my boyfriend is, and that by any definition I’ve been in a mentally abusive relationship for years, and ignored everyone’s attempts to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 661

By justlittleoldme - 12/03/2010 13:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 793

You deserved it 7 261

By levit - 08/06/2009 07:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to tell a girl I liked she couldn't sleep over because I live with my parents. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 411

You deserved it 68 105

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 329

You deserved it 6 346

By Champignon - 01/11/2013 14:17 - Belgium - Brasschaat

Spicy

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 202

You deserved it 4 275

By Anonymous - 13/12/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today I got back to my hotel at the same time as my supervisor and realized we had rooms right next to each other. I thought it was funny and said bye to him...only to remember that I had slept with HIS boss last night. We were not quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 3 609

By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 19:31 - United States - Cloquet

Today, my shitburglar of an ex asked me to take him back. He said dumping me was a huge mistake. He dumped me because I was bed-ridden for several weeks and was in no condition to have sex. If his social media is anything to go by, he only wants me back because he couldn't get laid elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 213

You deserved it 1 552

By IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 602

You deserved it 39 254

By Fatty - 15/06/2019 09:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I was walking in the mall with my friends when one of them pointed at a store and commented, "Bae Goals." My fat ass thought she said "bagels" and I actually got excited at the thought of eating a bagel, even after I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 434

By HumanNature - 01/02/2009 00:01 - Canada

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 957

You deserved it 3 163

By please stop singing!!!! - 21/03/2014 23:59 - United States - Windermere

Today, I got to spend 4 hours on a bus with a group of selfie-taking teenagers who spent the majority of the time trying to harmonize while singing various songs. I'm pretty sure half of them were tone deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 257

You deserved it 4 116

By Lauren - 09/08/2011 13:48 - Australia

Today, my husband declined a $100k/year job due to him thinking that a full time job at one work place would be too 'depressing'. I'm a nurse and have to wipe other people's arses for a living, then come home to this lazy dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 427

You deserved it 8 670

By Shenza - 17/06/2012 12:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 785

You deserved it 3 006

By Anonymous - 24/03/2014 20:01 - United States - Denver

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 491

You deserved it 8 931

Stickler for details

By notagyno - 29/03/2013 14:19 - Romania - Bucharest

Spicy

Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature because of one subtle anatomy mistake the author made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 778

You deserved it 9 088

By squeltorey - 03/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Whittier

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 752

You deserved it 11 118

By wow - 27/05/2013 16:17 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I found out that my husband of 12 years has been sleeping with my best friend of even longer for who knows how long. She actually tried to turn it around on me and implied that it was my fault for finding out about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 108

You deserved it 3 793

By boopingsnoot - 26/08/2017 18:30 - United States - Nashville

Today, at the dentist, I was just supposed to get three small cavities filled. I walked out with a referral slip for the endodontist. Hello, root canal. Fuck you, genetics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 297

You deserved it 280

Take a number

By Anonymous - 09/09/2019 00:01

Today, the guy I've been flirting with for a week, and would be meeting in two days, sent me a message that he wouldn't be able to text me this evening because he'll be on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 18/12/2008 04:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was jacking off casually to a picture of my ex-girlfriend, when all of the sudden, my friend sends me an IM picture of a granny bending over which pops up on my screen. I think my sex life is ruined forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 621

You deserved it 32 454

Empathy lives

By Natasha9 - 22/05/2021 20:01

Today, my mom walked in on me crying in my room and yelled at me for being a "weak little crybaby." I’d just found out my best friend died in a car accident. When I told my mom that, she said, "Does it look like I fucking care?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 337

You deserved it 100

By imblue42 - 24/06/2015 05:16 - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 187

You deserved it 3 682

By ScarredForLife - 25/12/2009 06:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 716

You deserved it 11 867

By Singleton - 02/01/2010 00:33 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday dinner with my family. Everyone was making an effort to avoid a certain topic. Later my 5 year old cousin gives me a nice hand drawn card of me and my boyfriend. Apparently no one had the heart to tell her my boyfriend had broken up with me on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 069

You deserved it 2 834

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 990

You deserved it 3 921

Hold the line

By Anonymous - 06/07/2020 08:02

Today, I discovered that my work's new phone system automatically takes people off hold the very second you pick up the phone. I discovered this after picking up the phone and complaining to my workmates about the annoying customer I had on the line for a full minute, all while he listened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 2 374

So sorry I called you a dingdong

By Anonymous - 10/08/2020 17:01

Today, I sent a draft email to my boss. The receptionist, thinking they were being helpful, forwarded it straight to the client. It's not ready for the client. I mean, it is NOT ready for the client. Really, really not ready for the client. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 196

By greeenbean - 02/10/2009 10:41 - Samoa

Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 336

You deserved it 3 750

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 23:16 - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 334

You deserved it 6 409

By UnluckyJulie - 02/11/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring. At least, it was great until my mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 256

You deserved it 2 685

By Anonymous - 20/02/2013 07:31 - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 336

You deserved it 8 097

By AZN656 - 04/03/2010 11:24 - Australia

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 898

You deserved it 2 949

By wheatsnake - 08/10/2009 13:31 - Australia

Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 093

You deserved it 2 798

By Megz - 02/01/2013 17:38 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 155

You deserved it 2 731

By whatjusthappened - 21/07/2014 15:58 - United States - Norman

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend, because he's too manipulative. By the time our chat ended, instead of being single, I'm somehow now committed to going on vacation with him and his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 764

You deserved it 16 016

By dumbdad - 28/12/2009 07:30 - United States

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 196

You deserved it 3 462

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 19:48 - United States - Maryville

Spicy

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 839

You deserved it 12 640

By BrokeAsHell - 30/05/2013 08:51 - Australia - Werribee

Today, my landlord emailed me, stating that she hasn't been receiving my rent. After some investigation, I found out she's been using the money to buy booze, and hasn't been putting it into the house owner's account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 821

You deserved it 2 866

Rebel without a cause.

By wowie - 21/10/2019 20:00

Today, my ex threatened to not return my things that she still has. She even went on to say she will burn them, because she hates me and I "broke her heart". Not only has it been over half a year since we broke up, but she was the one who broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 126

By CollegeKID - 23/05/2012 03:27 - United States

Today, I went to orientation for college. They gave us a name tag and I tried to figure out how to put it on for a few minutes. After struggling with it I realized it was a sticker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 836

You deserved it 29 784

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Top comments

giantsfan2010 23

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Monday 20 July 2015 22:56

Just reading this fml pissed me off. Can't imagine how upset you are.

ashleyrose465 16

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Monday 20 July 2015 22:55

That sucks, I would be devastated and angry at the same time!

Comments

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Monday 20 July 2015 22:54

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

ohjoy15 33

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Monday 20 July 2015 23:03

@1 Yeah. Literally what I said once I read this. OP should post the pictures on Facebook or Instagram with a caption like: "In front of her was me and the band:______... but *sarah* here decided that all of you would much rather want to see her face instead. So here you go. You're welcome."

Send a private message

Tuesday 21 July 2015 2:28

Reading your comment I thought of domo screaming no :)

604 11

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Monday 20 July 2015 22:55

I can't picture that very well... Clearly your friend couldn't either.

SubparAtBest 23

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Tuesday 21 July 2015 12:45

She couldn't picture.. sigh

ashleyrose465 16

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Monday 20 July 2015 22:55

That sucks, I would be devastated and angry at the same time!

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Tuesday 21 July 2015 2:47

Devisangry?

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Tuesday 21 July 2015 5:40

Yes, 52!

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Tuesday 21 July 2015 5:56

I'd be so angry that I'd dump the friend. That shit is NOT acceptable! I feel for you, OP. You don't need someone that horrible in your life.

5secondsofvvifi 21

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Tuesday 21 July 2015 8:23

You could also use angrastated

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Wednesday 22 July 2015 5:36

90: That sounds like a Norwegian black metal band, hahaha. Remembering that one!

cOOkiEzRgOOd 22

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Monday 20 July 2015 22:55

Luckily you'll have the memory forever.

giantsfan2010 23

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Monday 20 July 2015 22:56

Just reading this fml pissed me off. Can't imagine how upset you are.

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Monday 20 July 2015 23:25

Honestly I've always found it pretty annoying when a friend would take selfies with my camera or phone. But this just takes that to a whole new level. How can someone be THAT full of themselves?

Brandi_Faith 33

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Tuesday 21 July 2015 2:19

I don't like when people take selfies with my phone either.

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Tuesday 21 July 2015 13:10

I don't get why people take selfies in the first place.

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Saturday 25 July 2015 17:43

your hot. js ??? and ya I agree I would of made her go back and wait in line again and get the real pics.

ilovewhatthecut_fml 12

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Monday 20 July 2015 22:58

Because they are the real stars

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Monday 20 July 2015 22:58

This seems like a plot to a murder mystery movie.

PleasantDino 22

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Tuesday 21 July 2015 5:30

Are you suggesting that OP murder his/her friends? because I surely am

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Monday 20 July 2015 22:58

Looks like you need a new friend :) Sorry op!

rachelthelime_fml 29

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Monday 20 July 2015 22:58

I think it's time to get some new friends...Haha, sorry for echoing #9

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Monday 20 July 2015 22:59

do the same for that friend if they get married.

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 6

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 5

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I’ve been single and lonely for so long, I looked up if it’s possible to marry your hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 66

Today, during sex, I was getting close to climax, which is unusual for me due to personal issues. However, I got a piercing headache and had to stop. I later found out my birth control can cause sex headaches and the best way to avoid them is to avoid orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 42