Love: Today, after hours of waiting in line, I finally met my favorite...

By simply_meeeee - United States - Glen Carbon

Today, after hours of waiting in line, I finally met my favorite band. After posing for a picture, I looked at my phone to find that instead of taking a picture with me and the band, my friend took selfies. FML

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simply_meeeee tells us more :

I'm surprised mine got published! And yeah, I was furious with her. Consider her unfriended!

Love

Instadrama

Supply and demand

Wise kid

By NYCguy - United States

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43561

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15707

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By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54835

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By -_____- - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

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49912

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By shaving kit

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34879

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By lone_ranger - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27278

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3452

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By "refines"

Today, I woke up to my living room covered in 8 cm of water. My $2k computer was on that floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3700

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792

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By Dani - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34140

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By Anonymous

I don't care

Today, my girlfriend sent me a revenge video of her having sex with another guy, because I cheated on her. I got angry with her, but later used the video to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

652

You deserved it

5050

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By SeaBind - United States - Saginaw

Today, a friend wanted to show me a game he bragged he was the best at. I beat his score on the first try, and now I have a black eye to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31738

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By anon - United States - Pasadena

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30328

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By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, I folded a stack of 2,500 brochures for the new exhibit we're putting on at the museum where I work. As I was finishing up, I got an email. The dates have just been changed, so all the brochures have to be reprinted and refolded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29154

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1934

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By shayes9 - United States

Today, the boss returned from vacation. While he was gone we thought it would be a great idea to fill the water cooler with margaritas. Even after rinsing it we still have lime flavored water. Needless to say we got a company memo about appropriate office behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9749

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By Anonymous - United States - Atlanta

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48120

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3424

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By Anonymous - Canada - London

Today, my coworker called me a liar when I said I've been to New York. This is the same psycho who honestly expects me to believe that she and Brad Pitt have a "thing" and that he secretly communicates with her through interviews on TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26701

You deserved it

1781

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By Fml24609 - United States

Today, I ended up sleeping on the dirty floor because my sister didn't want to share a king sized bed with me. She got up to get a drink and stepped on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38658

You deserved it

5705

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By Noname - United States

Today, a guy in the library came up to me and said, "You look very unproductive. It makes me depressed just watching you". FML

I agree, your life sucks

30858

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4751

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By pride? what's that? :( - Belgium - Leuven

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14721

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40243

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By amayasoma - United States - Houma

Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car ash tray. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44536

You deserved it

7005

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By bad in the sack - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55012

You deserved it

11403

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By Fuck's sake! - Singapore - Singapore

Today, it turned out the twit I've been overcharging for drinks in my bar for wearing shades indoors is actually blind. FML

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5237

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By plzdontclapme

Today, I tripped on the way back from collecting a prize in front of 600 students and their parents. I got more applause than I did when collecting the prize. FML

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22541

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2282

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By Ves - United States

Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML

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25348

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML

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37944

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By rolled

Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML

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4167

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477

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By too dumb for sex

Today we tried to have sex for the first time but I got so excited my blood pressure shot up and I got a nosebleed that didn't fully stop for nearly 30 minutes. Then when we tried again she accidentally headbutted me. The new bleeding still hasn't stopped and I'm feeling very lightheaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2132

You deserved it

232

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By dulllife - United States

Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML

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25441

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By ashily24

Today, I went and had my first ultrasound done. My husband said he had a meeting at work, and couldn't come. As I was leaving, I saw him at the doctor's office with another heavily pregnant woman. FML

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8171

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511

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By ImprovTeacher

Today, I was teaching a small group of improv students. I asked one guy to do a monologue, and laughed to myself while he did so. I said, "Sorry, I'm just laughing at the way you're doing it." He then got upset and pointed out that he had a speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

664

You deserved it

2235

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By snore - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I was feeling really depressed and ended up asking my mom why guys aren't interested in me. She replied with a laundry list of reasons, including, "Hair. Boobs. Face. Everything." FML

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46571

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By B-Man - Canada

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

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28590

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By Marie - Canada

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37162

You deserved it

5129

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By why - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend convinced my current boyfriend to break up with me because "bros before hoes". They met for the first time last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3263

You deserved it

377

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By Wow - United States

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28471

You deserved it

8831

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By Yeah-It's-Just-Me - Australia - Hornsby

Today, I had numerous calls from people saying they need a baby sitter, because "they know I wasn't invited anywhere". FML

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32234

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By 3Airwalk3 - Canada

Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirt's reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7954

You deserved it

35969

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By Anonymous - United States - Dallas

Today, I returned to work after taking two days off to find I'd been fired. Why? For not being at work on those two days. Everything was agreed in writing, all trace of which has mysteriously vanished. I can't work until HR sorts it out, and nobody can tell me how long that'll take. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22176

You deserved it

1484

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By stixx - United States

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13684

You deserved it

75351

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By dumped - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? His best mate got dumped yesterday and my boyfriend thought it would be 'more fun' to be 'single lads together'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34275

You deserved it

3178

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By Anonymous - Australia - Melbourne

Session done!

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2170

You deserved it

308

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By LY2

Keep it in the family

Today, I found out why my boyfriend won't come over anymore. He and my brother apparently had a "thing" before we started dating. FML

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1795

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Top comments

By giantsfan2010 | 23

#6356316 - Monday 20 July 2015 22:56

Just reading this fml pissed me off. Can't imagine how upset you are.

By ashleyrose465 | 16

#6356314 - Monday 20 July 2015 22:55

That sucks, I would be devastated and angry at the same time!

COMMENTS

By Domonator | 16

#6356311 - Monday 20 July 2015 22:54

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

ohjoy15 | 33

#6356328 - Monday 20 July 2015 23:03

@1 Yeah. Literally what I said once I read this. OP should post the pictures on Facebook or Instagram with a caption like: "In front of her was me and the band:______... but *sarah* here decided that all of you would much rather want to see her face instead. So here you go. You're welcome."

876t786t6oi | 12

#6356485 - Tuesday 21 July 2015 2:28

Reading your comment I thought of domo screaming no :)

By 604 | 11

#6356313 - Monday 20 July 2015 22:55

I can't picture that very well... Clearly your friend couldn't either.

SubparAtBest | 23

#6356835 - Tuesday 21 July 2015 12:45

She couldn't picture.. sigh

By ashleyrose465 | 16

#6356314 - Monday 20 July 2015 22:55

That sucks, I would be devastated and angry at the same time!

PePziNL | 20

#6356500 - Tuesday 21 July 2015 2:47

Devisangry?

trevorr_16 | 25

#6356626 - Tuesday 21 July 2015 5:40

Yes, 52!

sunnyray812 | 42

#6356641 - Tuesday 21 July 2015 5:56

I'd be so angry that I'd dump the friend. That shit is NOT acceptable! I feel for you, OP. You don't need someone that horrible in your life.

5secondsofvvifi | 21

#6356746 - Tuesday 21 July 2015 8:23

You could also use angrastated

PePziNL | 20

#6357488 - Wednesday 22 July 2015 5:36

90: That sounds like a Norwegian black metal band, hahaha. Remembering that one!

By cOOkiEzRgOOd | 22

#6356315 - Monday 20 July 2015 22:55

Luckily you'll have the memory forever.

By giantsfan2010 | 23

#6356316 - Monday 20 July 2015 22:56

Just reading this fml pissed me off. Can't imagine how upset you are.

kaitlynjane | 28

#6356345 - Monday 20 July 2015 23:25

Honestly I've always found it pretty annoying when a friend would take selfies with my camera or phone. But this just takes that to a whole new level. How can someone be THAT full of themselves?