Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to spice things up and do 69. My mom walked in on us right as we came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML
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Top comments
Miss_Chevious 37
did you cry "oh God" as you climaxed?
zykrithium 22
Never got the chance to take the climax to heaven.
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Comments (115)
Jiigaaboo 12
Christ is watching
chaseafterwind82 29
Proverbs 15:3: The eyes of the LORD are in every place, Watching the evil and the good. God's kinky like that. He gets so bored in heaven...
Witchylady 18
God was not trying to condemn you for your sexual liaison. Your lesson was to see if both of you could be okay with your choices to have sex and the lesson just happened to involve your priest. God is not about restriction, punishment, or going to hell. That is a belief system that humanity has created around the concept of God in order to justify ones moral compass by someone's version of what morality should be and how it should be dictated. The greatest thing you can do for yourself is to be "ok" with who you are. And don't be afraid to stand out in a crowd. Or in your case have sex in a car with your priest walking by. God is about unconditional love. Enjoy your romantic experiences.
worldclassrager 41
Well that location is a bust...time I find a new one
AngusEcrivain 18
That's pretty ******* awesome, to be fair. Even an atheist like me would have to salute the sky for that one!
FriendsFan95 15
Was in heavenly? ;)
xcrunner5671 4
god can't win, he doesn't exist
hoosiergirl94 31
Holy cow!
SydLovesLacey 18
Religious about that dick tho.
rhastafish 13
**** it y'all should've continued and looked the priest dead in the eye
Shadow73 13
It's what I would have done. Of coarse I'd have been with her in the confessional.