Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Today, while licking maple syrup off my wife during foreplay, I probably shouldn't have referred to her breasts as pancakes. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said it's like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML
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Top comments
swimchica22 0
you must feel so loved :D pancakes are the sexiest breakfast food :P
futtbuck101 1
I'd like some syrup with that
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Comments (268)
swimchica22 0
you must feel so loved :D pancakes are the sexiest breakfast food :P
6tori6 5
I think stawberries are much sexier
Bano360 25
Who has strawberries for breakfast?
alpinestarsss 0
I'd do a pancake.
daisyloo 7
Awwww yeaah:) hahah
Bano360 25
Thanks a lot OP, I want pancakes now! Can I try yours?
YDI__Bitch 0
I wish I could find someone that was like a pancake
supermankisses 1
Crepes!
KatrinaKitten 16
Scrambled eggs of course.
marinus_fml 20
Katrina you're on the money! Any form of egg for breakfast is the way to go! :)
TookaWooka666 0
What about a Waffle, ahh man all those crevices, butter and sticky delicious syrup runnin down in there, ahh yeah I would tap that.
nerdfighteria 7
I love crepes! Yummy!
BShady96 0
50-will it get me as ripped as you??
Aerious 0
If you're mentioning breakfast food, why has no one mentioned fruit loops yet? That shit is the best.
TookaWooka666 0
****** Fruit Loops??!!? WHAT?!
Jaxx66 21
waffles are sexier! yes with strawberries and pure maple syrup!
TookaWooka666 0
Mmm damn right, thats the kinda sex food you need a shower afterwards.
tona01 16
waffles aren't that sexy, they remind me of blue waffle. Pancakes with strawberries is the way to go
TookaWooka666 0
Hey man just because yo momma is a blue waffle don't mean ya gots to be bad mouthing the good waffles, also did you know you can make your own gel shoe inserts with a waffle iron? what about a pancake?Nothin, thought so.
Soloman212 28
It tells you a lot about a man's size when he talks about his ability to have sex with froot loops, if you know what I mean.
TookaWooka666 0
Yea, definitely and his sexually, Fruity Loops, I mean Fruit Loops.
Metal_Chick 15
109-Any way they are delivered. haha jk..or am I? hmmmm
TookaWooka666 0
With Tobasco sauce.
Vegangeekgirl 2
I would totally eat strawberries for breakfast. OP I don't think you should take it personally. He probably just is a bit limited in expressing himself. Either or that or he is some kind of foodie.
je_tdwp 4
I don't even know what she's complaining about, pancakes are freaking awesome!!
seanders 10
You're all fools. The sexiest and godliest breakfast is most definitely cold pizza and vodka!
pertained 12
well there is a saying, the way to a man's heart is through the stomach, lol. (Perhaps this applies here.
gabstahhh 8
Oh yea..breakfast food. A tooootal turn on. Hahahaha.
chlorinegreen 27
that must be one really good pancake. can I have the recipe?
juicedboi 7
How has nobody said bacon and eggs? Although bacon and anything is good
LaughinStock 16
wait what about bacon with pancakes?
bummervacation 10
As sexy as I think pancakes are, I think breakfast sausages are even better at turning me on. Yeah, that nice meaty taste and long, thin proportions... Mmmmmmm... How come no-one has thought to mention it yet? I fully expected to have my idea stolen.. :(
anthylorrel 0
I do. on my sexy banana pancakes.
missbays 1
I want some ******' french toast!
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
I'm surprised not many people like bacon. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
OceanProtection 0
lol. that's not him in the picture... 50(marinus) which is Dutch btw, is a lot darker than that white kid. Marinus has come up a lot recently and he definitely keeps himself in shape.
Suddenly 0
Doughnuts glazed or fertilized
lolwtfwasthat 0
if I'm ****** any breakfast food it's oatmeal
dancebgdance 0
breakfast of champions ;)
dancebgdance 0
mmmmm
scrapmetal58 9
Spotted dick all the way. mmmmm dick.
ImmortalKratos 0
if he folded the pancake in half it probably looked like your vag that's why he mad that sound lol
jellitonoctopus 19
Mmmmmm! Bacon!
Bano360 25
Yay, I got 69 dislikes, this is a proud moment. But in Ireland, strawberries as part of a meal, is normally lunch.
danishbagel 3
Everyone's having breakfast orgy fights ._.
manofwill2468 3
what about blue waffles???
jennaizbeast 0
everybody...x
JokerJohn7 0
I think waffles are sexier ;P
LuukBaas 0
eggs rule!! scrambled with slices of bacon. Yum yum :)
FuniiBunii 0
nah it's not u , pancakes just turn him on he gets ****** from pancakes
22cute 17
You are WAY over thinking this thing, honey!
lolz0701 4
I think waffles are sexier
futtbuck101 1
I'd like some syrup with that
6tori6 5
nice name....?
awesomeooo3 0
I wonder what his reaction would be if he got sex and pancakes at the same time!
Mr_mur_der 0
Has he proposed using butter for lube yet?
volley4eva1698 0
no, not pucker up, but instead BUTTER UP
imthatguythatdid 0
CAN I HAVE A GRAND SLAM WITH A SIDE OF HOT ASS? PLEASE???...
imaberry95 0
" I'm gonna be the syrup, she can be my waffle" (PROPS TO ANYONE WHO CAN NAME THAT SONG(
lindsaysue 4
193- I got my digital camera, I'm gonna make your mom do a million poses!
skrillex99 0
or, the pancakes are As sexy As you
mahomie97 7
haha I love yerr name(;
multiplecoloredc 0
I don't know about you guys, but pancakes are pretty damn sexy.
imthatguythatdid 0
BE MAH MOTHALOVA!!!
imaberry95 0
"I'm gonna be the syrup, she can be my waffle" (props to anyone to name that song)
imaberry95 0
sorry I pod screwed up but YES!!! "this is the 2nd best idea we have ever had"
gigglezbabii22 2
193 miguel- sure thing. Lol
kobraiikid 0
Sex syrup
kikidi 6
Don't take it the wrong way, pancakes are awesome!
Imabigbeast 5
it's true, I eat pancakes for breakfast. "wink wink."
NomOnShroomz 14
Pancakes are VERY sexy.
bennetts211 2
They're better than waffles, if you catch my drift.
NomOnShroomz 14
Umm depends, waffles are pretty freaking sexy too... unless they're blue...
partygril378 0
you guys are sick!!!;)rotflol!! that was awesome!!!!
iownyou777 0
I find this difficult to ********** to.
igotnolegs 1
Best metaphor i've ever heard? "On a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake"
NomOnShroomz 14
I don't know, waffles are pretty freaking sexy too... unless they're blue...
spider63 0
she should take it as a comliment and a suggestion pancakes plus sex oh he'll yes
iSitt 0
pancakes taste alot like pound cake. coincidence?
marinus_fml 20
No, on a tastiness ranking, pancakes are equivalent to your pussy!
Ericahhh 0
well that's downgrading.
funkthat26 2
Yeah, I wish my GFs pussy tasted like pancakes.
spider63 0
hahahahahahaha so flavored pussy should be the next thing out there soon
dondomom 0
pancakes are hot!
comepoopwithme 0
#128 i agree!
DKParth13 5
pancakes are ******* delicious !!
bleuroze 4
Or, your pancakes are as good as sex.
eckksDeeitsTravi 0
good logic.:D
st0815 9
For men the feeling during ****** is heightened when they receive less oxygen. That's why some men use autoerotic asphyxiation, but much more commonly they simply hold their breath when they are about to come. (Many men might not even be aware that they are doing that breath-holding, it's almost automatic.) So men usually don't make a lot of noise during ****** (doesn't go well with the whole "not breathing" concept), at best it comes out as something like "mmph". So OP takes that completely irrelevant sound and derives a meaning from it. She interprets it as something negative of course, meaning that her fiance either implied or felt something negative about her. Congratulations OP, there is nothing wrong with you - you are normal for a female. :-)
kalgon 0
Maybe someday you will reach waffle status.
317theterrible 0
Maybe even blue waffle
BWill9014 4
ok good joke and good follow up joke xD
pixelebrate 0
she has a waffle already :p
nicholasj96 9
Pancake IS past waffle status .
taticalnNinja 5
come on! who hates pancakes!
CryMoreFMLs 15
I dislike pancakes by themselves. I love pancakes with losta butter, lotsa syrup, bacon on theside and fried eggs with toast.
krez 20
I do. Pancakes are waffles' trailer-trash cousins.
OneLittleAdditio 9
I think it's the other way around...pancakes are classy. waffles are fast easy and really do need syrup to make em taste good.
IbanezSprinter 0
Are you kidding? Waffles suck! The syrup gets stuck in the pockets
FlipInBrosky 4
Waffle House maybe?
MurphyS94 4
142- Duh, that's the point. You're supposed to fill all of the little squares with syrup. Yum! :)
OceanProtection 0
waffle/***** house*
Laura13LHM 6
ya who doesn't like them :)
alyshackboc 0
heh heh ..
VeganVampyre 27
Well #8, since you asked (sort of), I hate pancakes. Have for years. I absolutely cannot force myself to eat any more than a very small one, and even that very rarely, like if I happen to be staying at a friend's place and they really want pancakes for breakfast.
taytoc 10
Louisiana pancake ****
zosfrosty 1
Stop being so damn emo. :P
Soloman212 28
You must be new here.
nocanhaz 4
Hey 10, f**k you.