Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML
Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML
Today, I had an hour-long massage, meditated for while and was finally feeling good. Then I had to call an ambulance for my idiot father who had managed to get alcohol poisoning. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML
Today, a drunk driver totalled my new Audi. Who was the drunk driver? My dad. FML
Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML
Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML
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Top comments
melonrind 8
Sounds like a girl who makes good choices....Pretty sure you are getting a fun chat with Dad later O.o
dmblonde 13
First impressions always last.
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Comments (86)
melonrind 8
Sounds like a girl who makes good choices....Pretty sure you are getting a fun chat with Dad later O.o
K_kanaka 26
I don't think I'd be thinking about how my dad met her. I would be more worried for the girlfriend she's getting her fucken stomach pumped
melonrind 8
9-Slow your roll Hostile Heffalump....I didn't say to disregard her {stupid decision that led to} stomach being pumped ....I simply stated that op would more than likely, be chatting with his Dad....
K_kanaka 26
O my bad i didn't mean to come off serious. I was just saying what i would've done in that situation. But yea the talk between OP's dad and him must be really awkward right now.
Jonkbaby 23
op what happened with your dad and your gf to where this happened
nahgemoohc 17
Forbidden love makes the heart grow fonder
Tali147 16
Alcohol poisoning is psychosomatic... No one would be dumb enough to drink THAT much alcohol...Oh, wait...
dmblonde 13
First impressions always last.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
seriously, how awkward is it going to be at THAT family christmas? good wedding story though I suppose...."I knew my son had met the girl he was going to marry when I picked her up in the ambulance, with alcohol poisoning, and she was just so darn sweet and dainty. I knew she was the one"
drdingus 27
they do
ygdrassil 17
OP's in the US, though. Usually people involved in medicine aren't allowed to share patient information with anyone (including OP) under HIPPA. Doesn't that apply to ambulance drivers?
perdix 31
Now, he'll know why she dates a loser like you . . . and to lock his liquor cabinet.
StoryOfTheYear 15
What gives the idea that OP is automatically a loser simply by knowing the actions of his girlfriend?
TheDrifter 24
Parents get an ever increasing list of the stupid things their kids do. Is it any wonder that we tally them all up and come to the conclusion that our child is a moron?
perdix 31
#5, because FML is more fun when you exercise your freedom to assume facts not in evidence. Sure, I guess there are people that engage in binge drinking and that is the only thing ****** up in their lives, but it's a lot more likely that she's ****** up in several ways.
DemiTwilight 4
Kudos Perdix! XD
dragonstrike94 8
Edge goes to ... Perdix
yahoowizard 16
Much more interesting than the boring introduction dinner with the parents
mim777 4
bad luck . . . id stay out of his way for a while
Tswift0806 3
How would he stay out of his way if they most likely live in the same home?
arthurlikestrain 0
Just do something dumb to draw attention away from her. It could be sweet in a retarded kinda way.
94yhy 8
YDI for trying so hard to get her in bed.
kocoman500 2
12- you're an idiot
raydaly 5
saz u look at ur pic
Zoranius 6
And THAT'S the FML for you? I thought the FML would be that your girlfriend is in the hospital? :/
JenniferTheDark 0
At least you can trust the guy driving the ambulance...
Cryptic_Equinox 0
16- i feel like your profile picture is perfect for this FML.
mismonroe 0
Sounds like a responsible, mature, bring her home to meet your family type you have there.