Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML
Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML
Today, I had an hour-long massage, meditated for while and was finally feeling good. Then I had to call an ambulance for my idiot father who had managed to get alcohol poisoning. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML
Today, a drunk driver totalled my new Audi. Who was the drunk driver? My dad. FML
Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML
Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML
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Top comments
melonrind 8
Sounds like a girl who makes good choices....Pretty sure you are getting a fun chat with Dad later O.o
dmblonde 13
First impressions always last.
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Comments (86)
Dimpless001 0
damn sucks for you
CradleLeena 0
She... Seems great. Good job guy...
Jewlz1162 5
At least he wasnt a cop she got arrested by right
coolstorybro6 6
...not the best introduction
esswhy 2
Well, it's a good story except for the fact that having your "stomach pumped" actually known as gastric lavage is rarely done anymore and would not be indicated at all for a liquid ingestion, and is not the treatment for ethanol intoxication. Otherwise, good story
NEredneck 0
That's shitty, next time don't drink as much.
yuppersgoodone 2
you can SO have your stomach pumped after alcohol poisoning! if they don't know just how much you've had or what else you've ingested, they can't give you anything other than fluids to keep you from dehydrating.... OP, that sucks...truly
DrTthunder 0
they dont pump stomachs anymore..
amykins164 3
She's a keeper
Snowgriffen99 0
First impressions r everything!