Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML
Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML
Today, I had an hour-long massage, meditated for while and was finally feeling good. Then I had to call an ambulance for my idiot father who had managed to get alcohol poisoning. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML
Today, a drunk driver totalled my new Audi. Who was the drunk driver? My dad. FML
Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML
Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML
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Top comments
melonrind 8
Sounds like a girl who makes good choices....Pretty sure you are getting a fun chat with Dad later O.o
dmblonde 13
First impressions always last.
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Comments (86)
1happymummy 14
Is this from england? Sounds like a typical night out for an english lass. Ps im also english so I can judge!
Fmlsea 28
Nothing like first impressions I bet ur dad was real impressed
pdp_fml 21
YDI, op. Why have a girlfriend that drinks too much? You should get a girl that knows how to be responsible for her behavior.
mamacakes25 6
did she at least offer him a drink?
Furrywhiplash 14
Why? To prove she is even more irresponsible than he thought by offering someone operating a vehicle alcohol, so he can proceed to crash the ambulance, possibly killing the girlfriend, and lose his job for drinking on the job?
shoopd 19
Joke - something that is amusing or ridiculous, especially because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce. I do believe her comment is one of these "joke" things.
poprocksss73 7
29 you must be wound up like a spring, way to make a mountain out of a mole hill....
Furrywhiplash 14
39- you are exactly right. I am currently sitting in my car because my doors froze shut and won't open again, meaning I can't get out to grab my paper that I stayed up till 5:30am to write (which is when I made the other comment). I also have 2 more long and dreadful papers to write by friday. This only begins my long list of current problems. Just kind of hating the world at the moment.
Zaros_fml 24
What, did you sleep in your car?
Furrywhiplash 14
No, I got in to drive to campus and go to class, but I realized I didn't have my paper with me.
poprocksss73 7
Wow yeah I'd probably hate the world too
scpieper 0
Hey you want to bitch about your life, write your own damn FML
patalc11 8
Well you picked a winner!!
absolutegrrr 7
I don't think anyone would say 'my type are those girls who can't drink responsibly'. You'd pretty much sound like a rapist.
GoW_Chick 15
Now that's the way to party, so hard you nearly die from it, and meet your lover's father on the way for medical attention.. it's such a timeless love story. -.- Drink responsibly!
Clamcreepy 7
This little incident should take away that awkward moment away from her meeting your father now since she can start a conversation in no time since they can relate now. It's all about common ground to be successful in a good conversation
chronick89 5
Looks like someone is gonna have to start tricking :o
lor4888 0
Why isn't this "Today, me and my girlfriend drank too much and she almost DIED. fml"? -_-