Today, I found out that when my mom says she's going to kick me in the head to wake me up for an important interview, she actually means it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML
Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5 a.m., my mom loudly knocked and came in. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML
Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML
Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML
Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML
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Top comments
WaSiSimiLang 8
Effective... Crude yet effective...
steviesnm 6
Why do you need to be kicked in the head for an important interview anyways? Are you not responsible enough to do something yourself?
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Comments (101)
WaSiSimiLang 8
Effective... Crude yet effective...
gojira666 7
The black eye probably wont help you get the job...
xXxIracebethxXx 14
*Crazed Mother used HARD KICK* *It was super effective!*
kjcookie10 9
Well now you know she wasn't joking around!
WaSiSimiLang 8
*breathes in deeply* "ok, it's ok... You can do this... Let's count to 3... 1, 2... 3!!!" *gives op the first head-kick of his life* "WAKE UP YE LAZY MUTHA FUCKA!!! wow, you have no idea how good that felt! I really needed this! Thanks child! Shall we have another go?"
kyarush 10
Employer: What happened to your eye? You: it was my wakeup call...
JacobWithaY 5
"Ain't love a kick in the head?"
noobcake111 2
Ydi for having a mom with legs
M0rt 0
YDI tell that bitch to get back to the kitchen. Bring on the haters!
changesinme 0
You need the kick to wake up, inception!
waswashere 0
43- yeah. She was actually doing them a favor. now they won't be trapped in the dream world
Jenchixo 1
Hahahaha you mad!
Exeggcute 5
Sometimes you just gotta do it.
tbreezy98 4
That's funny as hell haha
downtime 13
...Why so many people saying he wasn't going to wake himself up? It just says she woke him up that way...Theres nothing to suggest he was actually late.
ImFrackinBored 13
That must have been a really important interview... ._.
liltwistism 12
Advil is just effective. Nothing cruel about it.
evaki1 12
At least she doesn't wake you up with a bucket of water!
xXxIracebethxXx 14
I think most people would rather wake up wet than with a hard kick to the head that can damage your brain.
airforce987 20
No. Gtfo with that 99% crap. You don't even know what it means. It's more annoying than the Skyrim meme and for the same reason: it's stupid and people who weren't part of it started using it. a lot.
CryMoreFMLs 15
35 - The thing this generation seems to be missing.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
#32, this is for you, I'm sorry I just couldn't resist... I used to be part of the 99%, then I took an arrow to the knee... Let the thumbs down commence!
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
46- Why the generalization? We're not all that bad, are we? -.-
SaMmIMonster96 6
How do I message someone on here???
farhil 14
I agree, the large majority of us are pretty bad. But really, when the previous generation was our age, people were saying the same thing about them. It's only worse for us though, because we have all this ridiculous technology that accentuates our stupidity. It's like the whole Senior>Freshman deal; we were all the stupid Freshmen at one point.
kickazz16 15
Hopefully you didn't pass out and miss the interview, I bet you miss your alarm clock now :)
Oasispetro1 4
Its called an alarm clock
Jovecove 13
34 - wtf?
TheMaster15 10
Hey, it worked didn't it?
Poser1337 5
Yea, you obviously woke up!
ImFrackinBored 13
A little too well ._.
zaza_x_fml 5
Wear a helmet to bed. Problem solved.
steviesnm 6
Why do you need to be kicked in the head for an important interview anyways? Are you not responsible enough to do something yourself?
ChaPStikkWhoRe 0
She really wants you to get a job so you can Move Out!
AlaskaKid95 7
You're mom is pretty badass.
YdoIhaveAchode 4
Your*
AlaskaKid95 7
Damn.
reallysleepy 0
Has she heard of an alarm clock?
ohSNAPyall 27
Has the OP?
Pentium_4 27
mom's will go to the extreme to do what's best for you
HondaKidd 5
Last time I recall a concussion isn't good for you. But maybe I was misinformed. :/