Today, I found out that when my mom says she's going to kick me in the head to wake me up for an important interview, she actually means it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML
Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5 a.m., my mom loudly knocked and came in. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML
Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML
Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML
Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WaSiSimiLang 8
Effective... Crude yet effective...
steviesnm 6
Why do you need to be kicked in the head for an important interview anyways? Are you not responsible enough to do something yourself?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
alyspar2 5
Cool mom..
wriptidez 0
tje head is off limits
Bassex 0
Look on the bright side, at least it wasn't your, "little head," right?
lishy1311 0
Sucks to be you.
cash_monkey72 9
Which head?
KiddNYC1O 22
The hard one. - Which hard one? Lol.
XmyviolentheartX 13
She kicked you out of Inception. ;P It's either that, or if you don't find that job soon, she'll probably kick you out of the house too!
Ballin8864 4
Good luck at that interview..
DaKillaMafia 2
Shove your foot up her ass.
khaytah 0
Wait, what?
lwilso41 5
Why can't you just wake up yourself?
KaelaKhaotic 5
It's called an alarm clock...