Health: Today, I found out that when my mom says she's going to kick... - FML

By Anonymous - 10/01/2012 06:04 - United States

Today, I found out that when my mom says she's going to kick me in the head to wake me up for an important interview, she actually means it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 123

You deserved it 21 523

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Same thing different taste

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 169

By No-Sleep Nellie - 07/07/2015 13:26 - United States - Waterloo

Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 921

You deserved it 1 719

By TordNorski - 04/05/2016 17:44 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5am, my mom came in and knocked loudly. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 896

You deserved it 1 123

By thanksmum - 29/05/2010 17:39 - Germany

Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 066

You deserved it 3 566

Chill out, mom

By chasingcars0624 - 28/08/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 953

You deserved it 13 181

By Numbnuts - 08/03/2010 03:08 - United States

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 323

You deserved it 38 507

Zapped

By joey - 09/03/2020 05:00

Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 837

You deserved it 134

By mymomsstupid - 29/06/2011 14:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 165

You deserved it 3 740

By Jrex89 - 02/06/2015 21:02 - United States - Washington

Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 681

You deserved it 3 177

First impressions

By pdnne - 12/05/2009 05:48 - United States

Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 998

You deserved it 7 755

Next

Top comments

WaSiSimiLang 8

Tuesday 10 January 2012 11:40

Effective... Crude yet effective...

steviesnm 6

Tuesday 10 January 2012 11:44

Why do you need to be kicked in the head for an important interview anyways? Are you not responsible enough to do something yourself?

Comments

carboncopy 4

Tuesday 10 January 2012 18:06

If you are old enough for an interview (assuming this is for work and not for a highly competitive elementary school entrance), your mom should not have to wake you up!

Mkbitch 2

Tuesday 10 January 2012 18:17

Sounds like your mama is sick of your shit.

wes04ram1500 6

Tuesday 10 January 2012 18:28

Hell, I have to try that with my old lady. Pushing her outta bed onto the floor damn sure doesn't work.

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 10 January 2012 19:40

harsh..

RechargedCoconut 14

Tuesday 10 January 2012 20:04

Your mother's been watching Roadhouse way too much

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 10 January 2012 20:26

If she kicks your head in when you don't wake up, I hate to think of what she'll do if you leave the seat up or forget to flush!

iCalypsix 4

Tuesday 10 January 2012 21:03

Well at least you got to the interview on time?

krawrz4u 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 22:36

Never underestimate the psychoticness of a crazy mother

MissingNO123 7

Tuesday 10 January 2012 22:37

That's illegal, you know.

ZombieWad 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 23:13

Always listen to mom!!!! She's crazy!....she's a woman!

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You deserved it 2 838

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

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The Top

Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML

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You deserved it 4 019

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 046

You deserved it 896

Today, I twisted my ankle and fractured my wrist while dancing. I audition for a performing arts school in one week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 169

You deserved it 284

Today, after telling my parents just exactly what I thought of them and that I was moving out, the person I was supposed to move in with called to say they'd decided they would rather live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 889

You deserved it 33 724

Today, I received an invoice for a plumber call-out. They'd watched me reconnect my own water heater because the heat pump packed up, and the lady on the phone had said no charge. So basically, 690 bucks to use their ladder, when they declined my offer to use my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 139

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 159

You deserved it 3 807