Today, I found out that when my mom says she's going to kick me in the head to wake me up for an important interview, she actually means it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML
Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5 a.m., my mom loudly knocked and came in. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML
Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML
Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML
Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML
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Top comments
WaSiSimiLang 8
Effective... Crude yet effective...
steviesnm 6
Why do you need to be kicked in the head for an important interview anyways? Are you not responsible enough to do something yourself?
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Comments (101)
OfficeNinja 5
You lazy bastard. YDI. Next time wake up for important events, or else I hope your mother puts on fetish super high heel boots with a sharp pointy stainless steel heel!!
CoolRainbowdash 15
Do you want the Op to die?
THE_A_TEEN 28
What you suggested #51 is now called assult. Have fun with your life, you dick...
OfficeNinja 5
Cry me a river. And look up the word "sarcasm". Don't always take things so literally. You must be a lazy bastard who thinks not waking up for important interviews is acceptance too. Good luck in the professional adult world.
CoolRainbowdash 15
Wow #84 you are a asshole
perdix 31
I'm sure you did great at the interview with the glassy eyes, slurred speech and confusion. For you next interview, make sure your mom has a car battery while you have jumper cables clamped to your 'nads.
claydrummer5323 5
And I found out that when you father says "Get out of this house or I'll throw you out your window." He means it. My windows on the second floor. Above the driveway. Which is pavement.
ascharb 0
mom's gotta love them!
Nolnah 14
at least wasn't the nuts!
TheyCallMeDamien 18
ouch!
randomreader2315 4
Why does your mother need to wake you up for an important interview? Shouldn't you be responsible enough for yourself to wake up on your own?
EduJav321 24
I feel your pain
Cleo_Nemo_ 9
Your mom must be a little crazy in the head. You should have your own initiative of being perfectly fine waking yourself up without your mommy..
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Which he obviously does not have if the mother had to threaten him with kicking him in the head if he didn't get up, and then have to follow through with that threat.
Cleo_Nemo_ 9
True....O_O
AmbrosiaWriter 17
I'm torn between good parenting (following through on a punishment, getting him up and out for a job interview that he's lucky to have,) and bad parenting (kicked him in the head!) Maybe she should've threatened something a little less drastic - bucket of water/ice cube down shirt - but maybe she figured he'd get up. Anyway OP, you deserved it. You got the verbal warning and it's your fault A) you didn't take her seriously and B) aren't taking the interview seriously either! Be thankful your mom was there to wake you up that time and grow up, purchase an alarm clock, and get up when it goes off. On that note, never use the snooze button, you spend more time and energy trying to fall back asleep for that extra 15 minutes that when you get up you'll be even more tired than you were before. Just get up.