Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
New, from L'Oréal!
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML
Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Tanning
Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML
You what now?
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
Soft as snow
Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML
Top comments
quadder 0
That's nasty
YoLauryn 0
Pretend you did it on purpose to look like a tiger :)
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Comments (319)
Cesar8 4
First. Damn sorry
quadder 0
That's nasty
jake1632 9
OP willy wonka wants you back at the factory.
KiddNYC1O 22
If OP ate gum and instantly blew up in size then your comment would have gone well.
Brool_Story_Co 17
I just got a mental image of OP tanning naked, my mind is now completely ******
margie2194 12
JENNY CRAIG!! :D
Brool_Story_Co 17
Jenny Craig doesn't do shit
margie2194 12
Liposuction?
epiclife101 0
Just use bronzer so just your facw is tan and you dont have to feel embarrasses
Brool_Story_Co 17
I am trying to understand what this idiot is trying to say, can someone please help me?
katerinablaze 0
Time to hit the weight room Op..
margie2194 12
It's actually very rude to call someone an idiot. You're no more intelligent than anyone. We all have the same brain capacity. So you shouldn't come on here to subtly idolize yourself by insulting people. It just shows how insecure you are.
notouchyy 6
Id say more like cross country.
Brool_Story_Co 17
This coming from someone who admits to being naive and stupid
margie2194 12
I say I'm naive and stupid because. The first step to wisdom is admitting stupidity. Every human being is stupid and every human being is intelligent.
Brool_Story_Co 17
Sure, I can agree with that. I just wish that sometimes people would use their intelligent side more often
margie2194 12
And I really wish people could show some humility and respect sometimes. But we can't always get what we want can we?
Brool_Story_Co 17
No we can't
jayalexander 7
2+2=5.... intelligent enough?
Brool_Story_Co 17
Yah that's good enough for me
sunflower226 0
you just contradicted yourself. and we do NOT all have the same brain capacity. that's why we measure IQ.
margie2194 12
IQ is not the measure of brain capacity. All humans have the same brain capacity of 1400 ccs.
Brool_Story_Co 17
When did I contradict myself?
margie2194 12
IQ tests are a measure of thinking skills. Not brain capacity.
Brool_Story_Co 17
Margie is right, IQ is a measure of general intelligence not brain capacity
KiddNYC1O 22
Nice try, 93. Need a shirt?
Dontarrestme 0
-54 WTF, 1.sure average humans have the same brain capacity but that doesn't mean everyone necessarily uses the same amount of their brain. 2.You just contradicted yourself by saying all humans are stupid and intelligent. 3.You sound as if your saying, a NASA engineer is just as smart as an Idiotic bum.
Brool_Story_Co 17
What's with the shirt thing?
margie2194 12
"All humans are Intelligent and all human beings are stupid". It's actually a famous quote.
margie2194 12
101- a NASA scientist and a homeless man are capable of accomplishing the same thing. It's just that people make different choices in life.
wooiekid 0
Wow 54- you are the epitome of stupid, I'm surprised you can read
Brool_Story_Co 17
Quote from who? Actually some people are born smarter than others, look at Einstein
margie2194 12
Einstein actually had a learning disability. :)
margie2194 12
I'm the epitome of stupidity? You're no more intelligent me.
Brool_Story_Co 17
He had a learning disability in writing. He was still the most intelligent person ever. Want another example look at Newton. Neither him nor Einstein got to be as smart as they were by studying, they were born way more intelligent than the average person, and hence they accomplished way more than the average person
Brool_Story_Co 17
Do you even know what epitome means?
margie2194 12
People aren't BORN intelligent. They BECOME intelligent by acquiring knowledge.
margie2194 12
Epitome means an example of something. Like the very derivative of something. Please enlighten me of your definition. :)
Cokie_the_Clown 5
OP if your weight is bothering you do something about it, like exercise and eat healthy, and if that doesn't help (which it should) go to doctor. Some people have problems losing weight. To the people fighting about a few stupid misspellings (that have nothing to do with the fml): please shut the f*** up. I mean that in the nicest way possible. You're wrecking everyone's fml experience with you fight.
Brool_Story_Co 17
Some people are born intelligent, some people aren't, it's just a part of life
Brool_Story_Co 17
127 raises a good point. I am bored of arguing with you and I'm sure everyone else is too, Margie PM me if you want to continue this argument, otherwise I'm out
Dontarrestme 0
-119 You just contradicted yourself AGAIN by saying people aren't born intelligent they acquire knowledge to become intelligent, meaning that someone who has acquired much knowledge such as a NASA engineer,doctor,scientist, etc has more intelligence than said bum, hobo,mcdonalds employee,etc.
nevergo 10
Also theres that 12 year old kid who is tutoring college students in quantum physics. Margie youre saying that i couldve done that but was just too lazy to study it? No. He can losten to a song twice then play it perfectly on the piano after finding the right keys in just a few minutes. Our brains are wired differently. Im profficient in language and numbers. But not arts. We do not all have the same capacity.
Brool_Story_Co 17
132/133-I couldn't agree with you more, Margie is absolutely wrong in saying that everyone has the sane brain capacity. I am accelerated two years in math but I can't write an essay worth shit. Not everyone is born the same.
margie2194 12
All this arguing is making my thumbs hurt. Haha.
iceildor 6
112 just shut the heck up already
margie2194 12
Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Like me for example I can pick up biology in a blink of an eye. But physics always seems to rape me. But regardless we are all talented.
margie2194 12
I just don't think it's right to undermine other people's intelligence. It's actually very disrespectful to say that.
Dontarrestme 0
I think margie knows she's retarded but tries to make herself feel better by saying that everyone is stupid and that being stupid is her choice, but thinks that she is also intelligent because………you know what **** it margie's just retarded.
Dontarrestme 0
-141 is right!!
Brool_Story_Co 17
Margie- stop commenting, I am sick of seeing your retarded comments on my screen
philitron128 0
Intelligence is an inherent property from ones parents. A person cannot simply get smart if they wanted, maybe a bit more knowledgeable but not smarter.
mfjkr 10
Everyone's IQ will drop if they read all of this.
margie2194 12
Haha I actually find this conversation absolutely humorous. Because various scientists agree that we are all born with the same intelligence capacity.... So I really don't get what in the blazes you guys are talking about. As endearing it is that you guys have several (humorous) opinions on this subject matter. I'll stick to the scientific facts. But I really admire your spirit
Dontarrestme 0
Guy **** it she's from Canada we all know how stupid Canadians are!?jk but seriously she even calls herself stupid and naive. What an idiot
toastyjustice 5
If you're arguing over FML about something totally irrelevant to the actual FML, you're an idiot in my book.
_Oblivion_ 12
93 your shirt fell off
nomnom5559922 0
You're nasty.
loljkgirl 0
Am I the only one who agrees with her? I guess everyone is being mean to OP because they're JUST LIKE HER and trying to make themselves feel better. Even though she posted this on FML, stop being so rude. It wasn't a good choice to post it, but some of these comments are TOTALLY out of line. You should all grow up. Beached whale? Really? How would you like someone calling YOU names for something you did?
loljkgirl 0
Yeah I wish you would too.
thesparkman97 0
CC is a measure of volume. Thoughts arent measured in volume.
tona01 16
For all the people calling her retarded just shut the **** up, at least she id trying to debate her point in an intelligent and non ofensive way, which i find a lot better comparing to your ramblings. For margie, actually all humans get the electric impulses through the brain at the same speed, that is why they say we have the same brain capacity, but there are new found proofs, that there are several intelligences( yes it's in plural) in a person's brain, some are more advanced than others, thus explaining the dificulties and strong points in some areas. Every person uses a diferent amount of their brain, although the average is about 5%, people that use a bigger amount of their brain are considered more intelligent, because they can process more amounts of information faster by using alternate ways. A person cannot become more intelligent by learning something, they just start using the information they've learned together with their respective intlligence for their own benefit or the benefit of others. Ohh and your saying speaks about how everybody is born intelligent, but only a few take advantage of it So yes you are right and wrong at the same time. Hope the info helped
nwatso96 0
-145 u piss me off and I don't even know u. and ur stupid btw..and obviously loosing this fight with all these ppl
nwatso96 0
145- u piss me off and i don't even know u. ur obviously loosing this fight against like 5 people so just shut ur damn mouth and stop fighting back.
BlueCereal 2
It's funny cus you sound like an idiot now that you said it :7
Spade606 6
It won't let me thumb down 176 because his comment was too long lol
chili10 18
People are definitely not all equally intelligent and stupid. People are born with The same brain capacity for intelligence, yes, but you have to gain intelligence throughout life and many people have harder times with it than others. Take for example one of my nieces, who learned her colors within her second year, and my other niece who is turning 5 and still can't get a hang of it. Saying nobody is smarter nor stupid is like saying that a highschool dropout is as smart as somebody whose been to college and got their doctorate. Also, some people are born with learning disabilities which can harshly affect their brain capacity and ability to comprehend certain material.
ChucktheNorris 0
Guys stop being so mean to her gawsh she's right.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Ha I love how all of margies comme
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Sorry I accidentally pressed send damn iPod. Heres what i meant to write... Ha I love how all of margies comments have either been buried or they're on their way to being thumbed down enough. And Margie sure you may have a point (no matter how idiotic) but if you have taken even two seconds to get to know this site even ur underdeveloped little naive brain could understand that this is not the audience you want to be Its mental equality and manners to.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
O and also human head sizes differ so we do not all have the same brain capacity even tho size has nothing to do with intelligence.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Preaching... Not its.. i really hate this iPod keyboard.
dapredatorx 0
93 had no shirt on in her pic
demarcusT 0
Actually einstine's brain was 15% larger than the average human size..
jjnadeau 0
Didn't Einstein say something along the lines of: "Everyone is a genius, but when you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's life believing that it's pretty stupid."
UrLyfSuxx 0
I cannot believe I just wasted my time reading that whole argument but it was a funny minute i spent lol
primadonna9396 16
It's alright OP, the chemo will make you drop the weight once you get melanoma.
charlotte100 2
Margie: just stop talking
AriadneBelle 3
Honestly, I didn't thumb Margie down for being wrong. I thumbed her down for being an arrogant, holier-than-thou blowhard. If so many scientists agree with you, Margie, you should have no problem citing a study for me. If you can't, don't go around acting like your opinion is more important than the opinions of everyone else around you.
a_nutritionist 10
because im an idiot, im going to throw in my 2 cents here... stupidity is the lack of the ability to acquire and apply knowledge. thats completely different to being ignorant, which is when someone is devoid of knowledge. if you believe everyone is capable of the same level of intelligence and it all comes down to choice then that would be an example of ignorance. also, as far as being rude goes, internet language and real world language are very different. harsher words are used to convey the emotion that is usually present in real world discussion. but even then, pointing out the obvious is not always a bad thing.
sskarma23 9
Tanning is stupid plus why tan especially naked if your that fat no disrespect but know one is gonna see you naked
ChickenInMyKitch 4
189 just made my ******* day, props to you
Cow_girl_cutie 0
Finally! Someone on here that's not a total asshole!!
lizzieislovely 11
My point is still valid whether you were talking to me or not...
RaiEllati 2
completely agree with you
sparky_daisy 5
perhaps this isn't the right site for you?
foxman47 3
176- You are a retard. That is a myth that people only use 5-10% of their brains. Obviously you know nothing about neuroscience. The majority of the brain is used for life maintaining processes (I.e. Breathing, circadian rhythm, and the rest of the sympathetic nervous system). Only a small portion of the brain is ever not being used at a given time.
nevergo 10
Thank you finally someone understands it! No I'm not a doctor nor a neurosurgion. In actuality I suck at biology, however, even I know that we use all 100% of our brain. I think the 5-10% comment only applies to the conscious use of the brain. Because I know that I don't sit here and tell my heart to beat or my body to sweat or my stomach to digest and absorb nutrients. the 5-10% is muscle coordination basically. That and attempting to learn and yet even then we do that unconsciously because we don't store it in a specific nook or cranny in our brain.
EJC94 3
Lol I agree
austin1313 0
We have IQ tests to show them. For instance, Albert Einstein= big brain. Yours= a pea.
duckman9 55
fat rolls can easily be removed: you just need a sharp knife and lots of alcohol!
jackgoldstein 5
yea,
kewlkate 9
Margie has simply made herself look stupid and has just dug herself into a bigger hole by trying to fix it (terrible attempt if you ask me). The way our brains work and are wired are how we become smarter. The fact that we have the same brain capacity doesn't mean crap when it comes to our ability to learn and out desire to learn. I think Margie should just drop this argument because she's not going to EVER win
Girlie2 0
Using the word retarded to describe another person indicates that you do not have much in the way of knowledge or sensitivity.
foxman47 3
261- I may not be sensitive but I sure as hell don't lack knowledge
Shayrawr 0
Your wrong. Stephen Hawking is the mist intelligent man known. Albert Einstein was very smart, although.
Xtra_Cheddar 3
Omg Margie, shut up, you're a women therefore your argument is invalid
Xtra_Cheddar 3
And 176, who gives a flying f**k? It's an argument, so keep your freaking life story short and to the point
ItsThisGirl 17
yes it is Cleveland
emilymelizabeth 11
im really sorry :/ but atleast u still got somewhat of a tan!!!!
lax4life20 0
Actually pretty sure Hawkings theories have been discredited or proven wrong on space and time? Einstein brought a lot more to America than hawkings. Einstein wrote the letter that warned us about Germany and their attemps at an atomic bomb. hawkings is just a pissed off atheist.
Chuck88 2
Barf
Sweej 1
OP is so fat she's got more rolls than a bakery!
CatEyes66 0
Why would OP tan naked, usually over weight people dress in clothes that cover most of their body except for arms and legs, right. So a whole body tan would be pointless, idk.
otb113 7
OP deserves it for being a ******* beached whale
aFatFuck 0
Let me get this straight... you're morbidaly obese AND you use tanning beds? that's a deadly combo right there
Sun_Kissed18 25
You don't have to be morbidaly obese to have rolls. You also don't have to use a tanning bed to tan naked. A large, private back yard, for example, would allow someone to tan naked.
Tristyxxx 24
Stretch out
ReptarSwag 4
I microwave babies
kai_ngo 0
What. The ****.
Brool_Story_Co 17
Are you trying to be funny, if so you are failing pretty hard
Brool_Story_Co 17
I was talking to 24
ReptarSwag 4
your mom didn't think I was failing hard last night
Brool_Story_Co 17
She said you were failing to get hard
UsernameIsUsed 9
or that you were hard at all... It's funny how often "YDI for being too fat" is the answer to OP. She also deserves it for worrying about tan lines that NO ONE WOULD WANT TO SEE ANYWAYS.
HondaKidd 5
Roll Out!
saIty 17
Watch out if you get burned. People might confuse you with a giant strawberry.
daltyboy 0
hahahahaha
itsMatix 0
so stop being fat and change your life
Brool_Story_Co 17
Here's an idea, get your lazy ass off FML and lose some weight
jelmermcgee 8
Agreed. Perhaps instead of being fat and lazy and laying around tanning, you could go for a run and get some sun that way. YDI for being fat
TheLetterZero 7
YDI for being fat.
Person1233 13
Why are people thumbing the voice of reason down?
YoLauryn 0
Pretend you did it on purpose to look like a tiger :)
Sweej 1
Could do that, but unless OP is Snooki, I don't think her tan would be orange...
ReptarSwag 4
100 bucks that 90% of the people thumbed up cuz they think this girl is hot
swimmer3141 10
Except that she isn't...
everybodyluvsMEN 0
Harsshh. Your standards must be way too high. Lower em, you ain't gonna get a supermodel.
ReptarSwag 4
I never said she was
i_wuz_nver_here 31
I'm a (straight) chick and I thumbed it up cuz I thought her comment was funny (and partially because ur comment pissed me off)
ukrage 1
you never know with girls who take pics at extreme angles
YoLauryn 0
Gee thanks guys, so from checking FML today I learned that I'm ugly and take pictures at extreme angles. Girls love hearing that.
AdolfShitler 0
Sux for the neighbours!!!
cp399 14
Maybe you should start exercising instead of tanning