Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
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Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML
Today, and for the past week, my dog has started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML
Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him, only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked, and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, I was at a party and went to the bathroom. The door was tricky to lock, but in my inebriated state I thought I'd managed it. Apparently, I hadn’t. Midway through my business, the door swung open, and in walked a group of people looking for their coats. We just stared at each other in shock until someone finally closed the door. FML
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Top comments
A_Guy 0
This just in: Locks were around since before the dark ages. OP should investigate further
mehungie2 3
That's kind of gross...you saw someone then bolted to your room? and 1 and 2, not everyone has locks on doors.
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Comments (298)
that_guy_you_are 0
YDI (Ya dumb idiot). Don't whack off, if she (or he) is "extremely beautiful", get laid! This is what you save yourself for a week for; so you can have a big messy finish. And do it in the bathroom sink like a normal person, not in your room where there's no way of cleaning up :S
fuckurmotherANDu 0
dude, wtf..u looked at an "extreamly beautiful guest" and had to run off to pull it... u need to get the **** of ur rents house and to real party..that "extremely beatiful guest" couldve done that for u..stupid
Peroxide 3
LOL #55 "do it in the bathroom sink like a normal person" I'd hate to see where the weird people do it...
FoundManyLemons 0
Lock the door when there are guests. Hell, even without guests. Damn.
hahayou12345 0
How many times must it be said: Lock your door when you **********, always. YDI so much.
YogiBeer 0
Why didnt you just chat her up? Might not have needed the five knuckle shuffle. Unless your like 10.
vampirate 0
creeptastic
666midnight 0
lmao #57 XD But yea people should know by now...DO IT IN A LOCKED ROOM! Especially when you have guests and an awesome dog like that =P
latuka 0
you don't have a lock, but you KNEW your dog could open doors, so wouldn't you have been worried your dog would walk in on you? why not whank in the bathroom??? YDI
kitteh 0
So you masturbated over your mums friend during the party... and then posted it on the internet... YDI