By Anonymous - 20/02/2015 21:26 - United States - Moorpark

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 986
You deserved it 2 771
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Tarlachia 33

"Sorry, in life, I had standards. In death, you still don't meet them."

300 1
nofreeusernames 10

Shitbird is my new favourite word. Thank you.

245 10

Comments

Retaheki 27

If he was called a 'shitbird' for it, then I'd assume not.

50 0
DorLeon 14

"tried to pick" should give u a hint about it :)

41 0
tswizz 13

And I bet when OP said no, his reaction would've been to tell her she's a bitch and he wouldn't **** her anyway

38 1
devildog562 33

If it worked... No I still wouldn't have the balls and disrespect to talk to a lady like that. Society has been interesting lately .

96 2
Tthug 34

Society has always been interesting. It's just only in recent times that everybody gets to hear about it.

32 1
patrickalamo 47

What a pale completion, so life like, yet cold to the tough.

26 2
devi_916 39

How is being told you look like ANYONE'S corpse a compliment? I would much rather look alive...

3 0
nofreeusernames 10

Shitbird is my new favourite word. Thank you.

245 10
jvfelicio 13

Lol I just remember Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder, "Listen here Shitbird!"

2 0
redstone7693 29

"popped collar wearing shitbird" is now one of my new insults

0 2
hunterjumper88 8

That's a good one, but even better is chucklefuck bitch - courtesy of another FML.

0 2
cocoshake 16

wow okay he just went straight to the point

7 30
boating_guy 33

Part of me hopes you slapped him, part of me wishes he magically just disappeared from the humankind's gene pool

69 5
Vitotaylor36 13

Or better yet, her slap made him disappear from the gene pool.

23 1
Andatop 16

People don't put much effort in stuff like complements anymore..

7 37
photographer49 22

#8 didn't even know that counted as a compliment.

22 0
PerditaDessa 38

I don't know, I think you ought to give him some points for creativity on this one. I don't think it was a complement, and he probably shouldn't have said it but it's not a describer I've ever heard before.

6 28
TheFuckGiver1230 22

How would he know what her corpse looks like?

5 32
devildog562 33

Do you really want the answers to that question?

42 2