Intimacy: You tried

You tried

By briiiiiiii123 - 12/01/2015 07:56 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 506

You deserved it 7 765

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Same thing different taste

Hangry for that Mickey D's

By anonymous - 23/07/2021 07:59

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 183

Horndog

By Anonymous - 20/08/2012 02:05 - United States - La Grange

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 784

You deserved it 5 678

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 16:46 - United States

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 681

You deserved it 9 981

By WellOops - 18/07/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 671

You deserved it 9 713

By krisx3ftw - 11/01/2010 13:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 347

You deserved it 5 749

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 412

You deserved it 5 769

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 415

You deserved it 5 006

Anticlimactic

By JC12345 - 18/03/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 016

You deserved it 13 839

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 618

You deserved it 5 730

By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 576

You deserved it 4 658

PrimeEvilTahir 24

Monday 12 January 2015 15:21

Not so happy meal..

stryder9090 28

Monday 12 January 2015 15:27

He's loving it

Comments

ACEK1NG 3

Monday 12 January 2015 19:42

You made him do it himself? Not cool.

bgon1350 4

Monday 12 January 2015 20:00

did you want fries with that

x3sarax3 17

Monday 12 January 2015 20:02

YDI for not finishing him yourself.

stalker99 6

Monday 12 January 2015 20:05

You're not doing it right.

british_bad_luck 14

Monday 12 January 2015 20:06

How in the name of God was that a logical conclusion to events?

HeWillBeLoved105 22

Monday 12 January 2015 20:10

It's called parking.

thenewgirl29 20

Monday 12 January 2015 20:19

Hahaha how was masturbating into a McDonald's bag somehow better?

UhHuhHoney 20

Monday 12 January 2015 20:23

Wow, so romantic. *sarcasm

captainsmegma 12

Monday 12 January 2015 20:39

Way to topdress those fries. Hope they were tasty.

rbabhi 9

Monday 12 January 2015 21:00

...

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my ex told me she got pregnant from when I was comforting her when her mother died. We were still friends, so I went to her house and held her while she cried. One thing led to another and we began fucking like rabbits. I was gonna propose to my girlfriend next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 1 153

Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 112

Today, my husband of five years left me for a woman ten years older than himself who lives nine hours away. He met her online two weeks ago while playing Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 927

You deserved it 2 697

Today, I found out I have another leak in my house. I've had three inspections and they were all shit. At this point, that pipe is the only remaining original pipe in the entire house. Over 25k have officially gone into this BS. Note to all: go "new." FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 134

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 37

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 667

You deserved it 2 555