Intimacy: You tried

You tried

By briiiiiiii123 - 12/01/2015 07:56 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 485

You deserved it 7 755

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Same thing different taste

Hangry for that Mickey D's

By anonymous - 23/07/2021 07:59

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 173

Horndog

By Anonymous - 20/08/2012 02:05 - United States - La Grange

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 762

You deserved it 5 668

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 16:46 - United States

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 665

You deserved it 9 970

By WellOops - 18/07/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 9 670

By krisx3ftw - 11/01/2010 13:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 335

You deserved it 5 749

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 391

You deserved it 5 766

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 395

You deserved it 5 001

Anticlimactic

By JC12345 - 18/03/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 988

You deserved it 13 833

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 569

You deserved it 5 722

By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 555

You deserved it 4 643

PrimeEvilTahir 24

Monday 12 January 2015 15:21

Not so happy meal..

stryder9090 28

Monday 12 January 2015 15:27

He's loving it

Comments

omgcyndaquil 23

Monday 12 January 2015 15:20

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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howard007 18

Monday 12 January 2015 17:02

"Sorry Ronald!" -Ops Bf

superspooky 13

Monday 12 January 2015 19:07

Or they could just NOT do it in a car.

kristabelli 19

Wednesday 14 January 2015 23:55

Girl on top is really the only way it works in the car. Good luck next time OP! Don't give up!

PrimeEvilTahir 24

Monday 12 January 2015 15:21

Not so happy meal..

kinky44 28

Monday 12 January 2015 15:34

Happy ending meal.

user716 11

Monday 12 January 2015 15:48

Fappy Meal

incoherentrmblr 21

Tuesday 13 January 2015 0:49

A bag of McJizz...

jerryj 27

Tuesday 13 January 2015 9:08

I doubt the ingenuity of #20's reply can be topped. Let us rejoice!

LittleMissShadow 16

Monday 12 January 2015 15:22

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

strokesie 23

Monday 12 January 2015 15:24

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

clairesucks 37

Monday 12 January 2015 15:26

Useful in so many situations

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 12 January 2015 19:12

Probably the best use yet for one, to be honest.

clairesucks 37

Monday 12 January 2015 15:24

Better luck next time OP

buckstop1 37

Monday 12 January 2015 21:52

or never

llalala_fml 19

Tuesday 13 January 2015 6:29

I read the #5s comment as "better **** next time" I think I like that more

howtobestupid 16

Monday 12 January 2015 15:26

I can't look at a McDonalds bag the same now

crimsonprodigy 15

Monday 12 January 2015 15:26

Should have switched positions to the hood of the car. Much more exciting.

nyte_assassin1 11

Monday 12 January 2015 15:26

"I'm loving it"

stryder9090 28

Monday 12 January 2015 15:27

He's loving it

missbrit818 20

Monday 12 January 2015 15:27

lol that sucks, but this is funny to read! Sorry about that though op!

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 623

You deserved it 5 879

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

The Top

Today I remembered to put my work uniform in the wash; as I hit start I got an email notification. My landlord confirmed that the engineer will be out to fix the washing machine tomorrow after my housemate reported it as broken. My clothes are locked in the machine that now won't turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 220

You deserved it 226

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times' sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent." I got pranked by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 623

You deserved it 8 700

Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 365

Today, some idiot did burnouts in the school parking lot. I got blamed because my car looks the same. I didn't even get a chance to defend myself, and now I have 8 weeks of detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 593

You deserved it 1 624

Today, I placed sticky mouse traps in my bedroom. it's now 12:05 a.m. and I've successfully caught a mouse. Too bad I'm scared of them and my husband is passed out asleep. I now get to listen to a mouse squeak all night and have to be up in 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 913

You deserved it 6 560

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 025

You deserved it 2 895

You tried

Same thing different taste

Hangry for that Mickey D's

Horndog

Anticlimactic

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