Slightly YDI- if your house has ants, why would you leave food on your person and fall asleep?!
It does suck though, especially if you didn't know about the ants.

Props for having an original FML.

Oh I agree! I really laughed at this one! :)

What is the reasoning behind putting sliced veggies on your face to relax? Will sticking a carrot up my ass achieve the same effect?

Maybe?

It's supposed to reduce puffiness/dark circles under the eyes. I've never done it myself, so I have no idea how well it really works when you just use actual cucumber slices instead of the cosmetic cucumber pads they sell. Just saying there's a legitimate reason behind it and OP isn't just crazy. : )

@Reyo... well, if you're into that kind of thing ;)

Agree with pendatic. Baby carrots won't do it. Actually, I'd recommend papayas for that real "kick" ;)

It won't make you relax, actually I'm pretty sure you'd walk stiffly for a day or too... unless you just got out of prison... if you catch my drift...

Possibly maybe you should try

Were you sleeping in the backyard?

it's january and you live in massachusetts, most of which is currently covered in snow. what ants? fake.

Just because all fmls start with "today" doesn't mean this really happened today, or where the OP lives for that matter.

Damn those cucumber eating ice ants of Massachusetts! Can ruin your whole day.

you made me laugh more than the fml, thank you.

did you pitch a tent?

haha, reyo is hilarious :)

...lame attempt at humor

I'm sorry, that's terrible, but the way it's worded made me laugh.

ROFL, Reyo is awesome

Eww :L