Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I tried to prank my little brother by jumping out from behind a door to scare him. I ended up scaring myself when I caught a glimpse of my weirdly-lit reflection in a mirror mid-jump. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML
Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Aisle tell you one thing: you should've gone all by your shelf. You should check-out the other possibilities in your local area.
xxmollyxx 25
That's harsh. Hopefully you can convince them to let you back in soon!
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Comments (69)
superminty 18
There's usually quite a few crazies at the grocery store where I live, but in this case they're just being overly punitive. Bake cookies for the employees and bribe them with sweet, chocolatey goodness.
Cathrin 26
That's a good plan, but where can she buy the ingredients now?
superminty 18
Good bribery is perhaps worth a trip out of town.
klovemachine 24
Change your name, dye your hair, wear 5 inch heels, wear big sunglasses, and put a pillow under your shirt to look pregnant...that should do the trick :)
wannabesinger 16
Brush up on your management skills and open your own grocery store
Brotha_Lou 5
Anybody could have done it, if it was that easy.
lokman_fml 7
39 - thanks for pointing out 27 was NOT being sarcastic as some people just don't get when it is or isn't being used
Megan98 18
That happened to my family too! My brother put two fingers to my moms back(like a gun). Then said "hand over the purse". She started screaming down the aisle... That was pretty embarrassing.
cobi45 2
If the zombies start coming, you're screwed.
manaallovesfmls 19
Omg. My brother did that to me at the mall. FML
CeeCee_fml 16
Banning you from the only grocery store in town because you knocked over some items seems a bit excessive. I can understand them doing that if you stole something. But for an accident?
drewflav 17
Might've appeared intentional to the investigating employee. We've never banned for true accidents or carelessness (though we might scold them for it if the product was pricey) but intentional damage of any size generally called for banning. If management thought you appeared sketchy that wouldn't have helped your case either. I would've apologized profusely and offered to clean the mess up. Next time be more careful though; that way they won't considering banning you again.
cheekyterier 13
ROAD TRIP!!
doglover100 29
That seems silly for banning you from the only grocery store in town. You knocked down some things, it's not like several shelves knocked down like a domino.
perfectflower 12
Tell them u have terrest? Or ur brother is a retarded ninja?